Hardcore Heaven 2000

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Hardcore Heaven

May 14, 2000

Eagles Ballroom at the Rave

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

News & Notes: After Living Dangerously, Mike Awesome jumped to WCW while still holding the ECW Title. He agreed to come back and drop the belt, but his opponent shocked everyone. The WWF let Taz return to face Awesome. A WWF superstar fought a WCW wrestler in an ECW ring for the ECW championship. Taz won, and Awesome left through the crowd. Then, at Cyber Slam, Taz dropped the gold to Tommy Dreamer! Afterward, Tommy even reconciled with Raven. Yet Dreamer couldn’t celebrate his victory. Justin Credible interrupted. Lance Storm suffered a stinger earlier in the night. So, while Lance sat in the hospital, Justin threw down the tag belts and spat on them. They no longer mattered. Justin wanted the big prize. Credible wrestled Dreamer and won when Francine betrayed Tommy and Raven. Now Justin is the new ECW champion, with Francine at his side.

Joey welcomes everyone to the show, and he lists the local sports teams. However, beer and bratwurst get the better reaction. Then he introduces himself and hands the microphone to Gertner. Joel does his dirty middle name shtick. He talks about spraying the Milwaukee women in the face, so Joey says he set the tone for the night. If the censors don’t like it, they can go to hell. This is Hardcore Heaven! After he says this, we get an awkward pause. Joey and Joel seem confused by something. They head to the announce booth once they realize the planned segment isn’t happening. (I’ll explain later.)

Balls Mahoney and Masato Tanaka arrive for the first contest, but there is drama at the commentary table. Cyrus and Kanemura interrupt Styles and Gertner. They confront Joel. Cyrus says Gertner’s fat body is a ratings killer, and the fans don’t buy his gimmick. But the crowd proves him wrong. They encourage Joel to fight Cyrus, and Cyrus ignores them. He says the people don’t care about Joel because he’s a fat, disgusting, vulgar piece of crap. When Gertner takes off his neck brace, Cyrus dares him to do something. It’s a trap. Kanemura grabs Joel and chokes him out while Joey calls for help. Meanwhile, Cyrus takes over as the color commentator.

Masato Tanaka vs. Balls Mahoney

Storyline: Tanaka got one last shot at Awesome before Mike left the company. He appeared to have the victory in hand with a Roaring Elbow, but Masato fell victim to the unholy alliance of Raven and Awesome. Meanwhile, Balls Mahoney stood up to the Network when Cyrus asked if anyone had the balls to take them on. This led to Balls vs. Rhino, which Rhino won after a Gore through a table. Afterward, ECW sent Mahoney to FMW for a week as an emissary for the company. When he returned, Balls aided Doring and Roadkill against Da Baldies.

The Match: They start with chain wrestling and exchange strikes. This lasts until they tumble outside. Now Balls hits Tanaka with beers, so Tanaka answers with chairs. They fight on the ramp, where Tanaka nails a tornado DDT. Then we get a chair duel in the ring. Afterward, the chair antics escalate to a pile of chairs, and Tanaka climbs. This leads to fighting on the top rope. Tanaka scores a tornado DDT on the chairs, but it isn’t enough. Next, Balls and Tanaka trade finishers. Masato misses a Roaring Elbow, but hits Diamond Dust. Balls responds with two Nutcracker Suites. One is on the chairs. Yet both men keep kicking out, so Tanaka lands another Roaring Elbow. It still doesn’t finish the job, but a flying chair shot and one final Roaring Elbow ends it.

Thoughts: This was a hard-hitting match. It was an exciting way to open the show, and they needed it after the awkward first segment. The only gripe is the kick-outs after finishers became a little excessive, but it didn’t ruin this. I still enjoyed it.

Winner: Masato Tanaka (9:15)

Lance Storm and Dawn Marie are backstage. Storm says Credible spat on the business and spat on him. Justin always had someone watching his back. In New York, it was Kevin and Scott. But in ECW, it was Lance Storm. Tonight, Justin stands alone, and he will get his ass kicked. Storm will take Justin’s title, so Credible better enjoy his moment in the sun. After tonight, it’s over.

Now it’s time for a 3-Way Dance between Simon Diamond, Mikey Whipwreck, and Little Guido. Simon leads his motley crew to the ring and takes a microphone. He says he has a problem. Everybody considers him a comedy act, but he’s a blue chip athlete! With that said, we get the other entrances. Big Sal has a bandage over his face because of Mikey’s recent fire antics.

Three-Way Dance: Little Guido (w/ Sal E. Graziano) vs. Mikey Whipwreck (w/ The Sinister Minister) vs. Simon Diamond (w/ Mitch, Prodigy, Prodigette, & The Musketeer)

Storyline: The Sinister Minister made Mikey his literal and figurative puppet. The change came with a new look and a penchant for starting fires. Styles called Mikey the devil’s advocate and an unholy altar boy. Elsewhere, the Network recruited Guido to help Tajiri take Crazy’s TV Title. However, Guido went into business for himself, so Tajiri and Crazy worked together to eliminate him from a 3-Way Dance. Then we have Simon Diamond. He added to his circus of goofs, as Joey Styles calls them. Tom Marquez now calls himself Simon’s Prodigy. He brought along his twin sister, Prodigette. Plus, they introduced the Musketeer! Simon and his entourage picked a fight with Tommy Dreamer. During the bout, the Musketeer challenged Tommy to a sword duel, but Tommy fended him off with Mitch’s umbrella.

The Match: Everybody trades arm drags, takedowns, and strikes, but Simon keeps breaking up pins. Mikey also nails a flying clothesline to Guido. Simon follows with rolling suplexes into a sit-out gourdbuster. Plus, Simon and Mikey work together to leg drop a chair onto Guido’s head! Then the lights go out. (The ones in the arena, not Guido’s.) While this happens, the entourages interfere, so everyone wipes them out with dives. Back inside, Guido lands a Sicilian Slice on Mikey, and Simon gives Guido a sit-out bomb. This leads to attempted finishers until Mikey eliminates Simon with a Whippersnapper. Now Sal enters the ring. Guido scores an Italian Leg Sweep, but he misses the Leaning Tower of Pizza elbow drop from Sal’s shoulders. So Mikey throws a fireball into Sal’s face. However, this allows Guido to nail the Maritato for the victory.

Thoughts: This was fun. They maintained a nice pace and kept it exciting. Plus, I liked the spots they did with Simon’s entourage. It’s a shame about the lights, but it didn’t detract from the action too much. Also, I’m glad Guido got a win for once.

Winner: Little Guido (7:15)

Justin Credible and Francine have a response to Storm’s promo. Credible says everybody wants to kick his ass, so that makes him the asshole of the moment. He took seven years of blood, hard work, and sacrifice and threw it on the ground. Justin bled and worked for those belts, but he sacrificed them to win the world title. Plus, Credible beat everyone from Awesome, to Taz, and even the pathetic jack-off, Tommy Dreamer. Now he is the rightful owner of the ECW championship. Tonight, he makes an impact. And that’s not just the coolest or best, it’s just incredible.

Next, Lou E. Dangerously leads the New Dangerous Alliance to the ring. He introduces himself, despite the fans heckling him. Afterward, Lou talks about Elektra. He says she doesn’t need plastic surgery or makeup to look good. She’s not only tits and ass. Elektra is the toughest woman in wrestling, so Lou dares anybody to fight her. This draws Jazz into the arena. She fends off the Alliance until she gets Elektra. Jazz pulls Elektra’s jacket off, but Elektra has a Mike Awesome t-shirt underneath. So Jazz rips it and hits a Jazz Stinger. However, CW Anderson nails Jazz with a superkick and spinebuster. Now Kid Kash arrives to save Jazz. He has a scheduled bout with CW Anderson.

Kid Kash vs. C.W. Anderson (w/ Lou E. Dangerously, Billy Wiles, & Elektra)

Storyline: Kid Kash put on some impressive performances, but he hasn’t scored many wins. First, Kash got a rematch with Awesome, which he lost. Then Kash faced Corino, and Rhino cost him the victory. This led to Kash vs. Rhino, but Rhino defeated him. Plus, Kash fell to Super Crazy and Lance Storm. However, Kash developed a friendship with Jazz. She helped him fend off outside interference. Unfortunately, Jazz’s actions put her on the wrong side of the New Dangerous Alliance. She attacked Elektra, and Lou hit Jazz with his phone. Speaking of the Alliance, they took issue with Credible’s treatment of the tag titles. Lou said Justin robbed them of their chance to win the gold when he threw the belts down.

The Match: Kash makes Anderson regroup. He lands a plancha into the stands to take out CW, and scores a diving hurricanrana to Wiles. But then Anderson ends his flurry with a sit-out bomb. Plus, CW uses ref distractions to let Wiles interfere. Next, Anderson shakes off a crossbody and nails suplexes and a powerslam. He also grabs a chinlock. More Wiles interference follows, but Lou decks Wiles with the phone by mistake! Despite this, CW performs a superkick and climbs to the top. However, Kash catches him with a Frankensteiner for the three.

Thoughts: This was solid. It was a good mix of power vs. speed, and their styles gelled well together. Furthermore, Kash looks valiant for fighting off the entire Alliance. He needed the win.

Winner: Kid Kash (5:57)

Backstage, RVD prepares for his match with Fonzie and Scotty Anton. Fonzie asks RVD if he put enough tape on his ankle, so RVD tells him not to worry. Rob is the athlete. Fonzie only needs to blow his whistle. Besides, if there’s trouble, Scotty is in his corner watching his back. Rob says Scotty has a front-row seat to watch him fuck somebody up. And Rob can say that because this is pay-per-view. Then Fonzie reminds Rob he hasn’t wrestled in three months. RVD assures him he is ready. He also asks Scotty if he’s excited. Scotty says, oh yeah, in a deadpan voice.

Three-Way Dance: Nova & Chris Chetti vs. Da Baldies (Angel & Tony DeVito) vs. Danny Doring & Roadkill

Storyline: Da Baldies tried to collect a bounty on Dreamer’s head. Everyone believed Raven placed the bounty, but it was Jeff Jones. Mike attacked both Dreamer and Raven and demanded his money from Jeff. Meanwhile, Doring & Roadkill brawled with Da Baldies after Angel interrupted their promo. This led to Doring & Roadkill joining Dreamer’s fight with Da Baldies. The two groups battled in street fights in Kansas City and Buffalo. During the latter, New Jack returned for revenge on Grimes. Elsewhere, Nova & Chetti warred with the Impact Players over the tag titles. This lasted until the Players imploded. Afterward, Doring & Roadkill and Nova & Chetti admonished Credible for throwing down the tag belts. They also said he robbed them of a chance at the gold. Finally, Nova & Chetti scuffled with the Dangerous Alliance, so New Jack aided them as well.

The Match: Nova and Chetti double-team Da Baldies until Doring and Roadkill join the fun. Everyone brawls, and Da Baldies clear the ring. However, Roadkill nails Da Baldies with a springboard double clothesline. Plus, Nova lands a Swanton Bomb on DeVito before Doring and Roadkill hit the Lancaster Lariat. Next, Da Baldies chokeslam Roadkill on some chairs, but Nova and Doring attack Da Baldies. Sensing trouble, Grimes arrives with a guitar. They use it to eliminate Doring and Roadkill. So Roadkill gets payback. He puts Grimes through a table with a springboard splash. Afterward, Da Baldies double-team Chetti and Nova. This time, DeVito showboats and pays for it. Nova surprises him with a cutter, and Chetti lands the Amityville Horror. Then Nova and Chetti end it with the Tidal Wave.

Thoughts: This was a spot-fest with tornado rules, but it was enjoyable and easy to follow. Plus, every team shined during the action. Everybody came away looking good after this. So it served its purpose.

Winners: Nova & Chetti (6:32)

Da Baldies attack Nova and Chetti after the bell, so the fans chant for New Jack. They get their wish. New Jack arrives with his trash can full of weapons. Styles says he’s glad he’s in the booth and not at ringside. Jack’s arrival leads to an impromptu contest.

New Jack vs. Angel (w/ Vic Grimes & Tony DeVito)

The Match: Jack fends off Da Baldies with a 2×4, a keyboard, and a fork! Joey calls Jack the ghetto Inspector Gadget. Then Jack drags DeVito into the crowd. He places Tony on a table and climbs onto the balcony. Once Jack ascends, he dives onto DeVito! With DeVito out of the way, Jack stumbles to the ring. There, Nova and Chetti hold Angel for Jack’s attack. He smashes a guitar over Angel’s head before grabbing a chair. Now Jack nails the 187 chair dive for the pin.

Thoughts: Was this a match? The ref counted to three, so it seems to be one. Plus, Wikipedia lists this as one. This was your usual New Jack stuff. They kept it short, and this popped the crowd, so I won’t fault this. For a New Jack fight, it wasn’t a disaster. I’ll consider this as a win.

Winner: New Jack (9:00)

After plugging the website, Joey apologizes for the awkward opening segment. He says he spotted a bloody Tommy Dreamer in the crowd, but the cameras missed it. The guys in the truck told him Justin Credible jumped Tommy. Cyrus accuses Joey of dropping the ball. He says this wouldn’t have happened on TNN. At this rate, Vince McMahon will run ECW! (That’s some unintentional foreshadowing.) Cyrus says this is more proof the Network should control ECW.

Now it’s time for Steve Corino vs. Tajiri. Cyrus calls Corino a nice young man, and the most improved wrestler in ECW. Styles begrudgingly agrees with the latter. However, Cyrus calls Tajiri an ingrate. He turned his back on the Network! Corino agrees. He tells Tajiri they go way back. They don’t have to fight. So Corino gives Tajiri one chance to take the rocks out of his head and come back to the Network. Otherwise, he will kick Tajiri’s ass. Steve also uses some racial slurs I won’t repeat. As a result, Tajiri kicks Corino, and the match begins.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Steve Corino (w/ Jack Victory)

Storyline: Cyrus manipulated and bullied Tajiri into doing his bidding. He tasked Tajiri with taking Crazy’s TV Title. If Tajiri couldn’t get the job done, Cyrus would cancel his work visa. It took two tries, but Tajiri pinned Crazy in a 3-Way Dance to win the belt! However, Cyrus told Tajiri to hand the championship to Rhino at Cyber Slam. Tajiri had enough. He refused to do it and flipped off Cyrus. So Rhino wrestled Tajiri for the gold and beat him. Afterward, Corino helped the Network seek revenge on Tajiri. Cyrus and Corino called Tajiri racial slurs and cost him a rematch against Rhino. Meanwhile, Corino also continued his feud with Dusty Rhodes and HC Loc. Steve faced both men in matches, and Steve finally defeated Dusty! This gave him a new level of confidence.

The Match: They trade kicks before Corino nails a sit-out bomb, but Tajiri answers with the Tarantula. When Corino regroups, Tajiri gives him a brainbuster on the ramp. It somehow busts Corino open. So Tajiri makes the cut worse. He bites Steve and puts him in the tree of woe. Then Tajiri hits a baseball slide and uses a chair. Now Victory interferes, but it doesn’t work. Tajiri kicks a chair and a table into Corino’s face! However, Steve responds with suplexes and pin attempts. He also grabs another table, but Tajiri recovers. He puts Steve in an octopus stretch. Victory intervenes again, so Tajiri sprays the mist in his face. Corino rallies one last time with a powerslam, which isn’t enough. Tajiri unloads on Corino with rapid strikes until he’s dazed. This allows Tajiri to put him on a table and land a flying stomp for the win.

Thoughts: This was a departure from the first hour, and that’s a good thing. They showcased the variety ECW has. This contained great storytelling and brutality. Plus, I loved the closing moments. I’m unsure why Corino bladed after a brainbuster, but the blood was still a nice touch.

Winner: Tajiri (10:22)

Kanemura attacks Tajiri before he can celebrate. He gives him an airplane spin driver, but Tajiri fights back. However, Victory joins the fight. This draws Dusty Rhodes to the ring. He hands out bionic elbows until Rhino arrives. Dusty fends off Rhino and then brawls with Jack Victory. Meanwhile, Sandman’s music plays. He poses in the balcony and shares beers with the fans. Joey says this is Sandman’s opportunity to win the TV Title. It’s the one belt he has never held in ECW.

TV Title Match: Rhino (c) vs. The Sandman

Storyline: Sandman continued his war against Rhino and the Network. He aided anyone who stood against the Network. First, Sandman allied with Super Crazy, so Tajiri and Corino distracted Sandman. This allowed Rhino to gore Sandman through a table and drink his beer. Next, at Cyber Slam, Lori returned and hit Corino and Victory with a cane. So Rhino gored Lori and Sandman through the same table! Later, Sandman helped Tajiri after the Network turned on him. Sandman teamed with Tajiri against Rhino and Corino. During the bout, Lori brought Sandman a section of guardrail to use as a weapon. Rhino tried to attack, but Tajiri saved Lori. Sandman also avoided another Gore, and Rhino crashed through a table. Finally, Sandman came to Tajiri’s rescue again, but Rhino gave him a piledriver.

The Match: They brawl outside and Sandman drapes Rhino on the rail for a leg drop. Next, Sandman grabs chairs and a table. He takes them to the ramp, but Rhino gains control. Rhino leans the table on the ropes and prepares to vault off a chair. However, Sandman moves and Rhino crashes through the table! Back inside, Sandman hits two piledrivers on a table, so Corino and Victory interfere. Lori stops them with cane shots, but this was a mistake. Rhino neutralizes Sandman with a piledriver on the ramp and goes after Lori. He brings Lori to the apron before giving her a piledriver onto a table! Afterward, Corino and Victory drag her inside. Rhino wants to gore her through another table, but Sandman canes everybody to stop it. He picks Lori up, so Rhino gores both of them through the table and pins Sandman.

Thoughts: They kept this short and explosive and they filled it with enough bells and whistles. I enjoyed this. It was probably the best Sandman match in a while. They told a good story about Lori’s involvement. Plus, I will give her all the credit in the world for the bumps she took. This made Rhino look like a killer.

Winner: Rhino (6:15)

After the bell, Rhino grabs a mic. He looks at Lori and says, “Happy Mother’s Day, you fucking bitch!” Rhino’s actions make Joey too angry to plug the website. Cyrus questions why Lori would come to the ring during the battle.

Jerry Lynn vs. Rob Van Dam (w/ Bill Alfonso & Scotty Anton)

Storyline: Cyrus tried to recruit Scotty Anton (Riggs) to join the Network. He claimed RVD was using Scotty, but Scotty didn’t buy it. This led to Rhino vs. Anton. Rhino put Scotty through a table before scuffling with RVD. Later, RVD demanded a shot at Rhino’s TV Title, but Cyrus said Rhino already had a PPV opponent. RVD could face the returning Jerry Lynn instead. Jerry said he got injured at the same time as RVD, but no one cared about him. It was all about RVD’s return. Cyrus tried to use this animosity to convince Lynn to join the Network. It didn’t work, so Cyrus insulted Lynn. However, some people questioned Lynn’s allegiances after Jerry attacked Tajiri and let Anton take a Gore from Rhino. Meanwhile, tensions rose between RVD and Anton. RVD hit Scotty by accident while brawling with the Network. Scotty didn’t seem amused with RVD afterward.

The Match: They start with athletic reversals and flips until they reach a stalemate. Then we see RVD’s guardrail leg drop. Back inside, Lynn scores DDTs before both men collide and go down. Now Fonzie introduces a chair. Jerry leg drops RVD onto it, but RVD fires back. He scores a chair-assisted Rolling Thunder and a Van Daminator. So Lynn answers with a sunset bomb onto the chair! Next, they fight on the apron, and Lynn bulldogs RVD onto a table. Jerry also wipes out Scotty when RVD moves. Afterward, Fonzie helps RVD nail a flying Van Daminator. Rob continues with a Five Star to a chair-covered Lynn, but this hurts Van Dam.

While Rob is down, Cyrus leaves the booth. He joins Rhino and they attack both men. Rhino gores Lynn and powerbombs RVD, but RVD recovers. He nails Rhino with a flying kick before giving Cyrus a Van Daminator. Now Fonzie helps again, but Lynn kicks a chair into Bill’s face. So RVD does another Van Daminator to Lynn and heads to the top rope. This time, Scotty Anton shoves RVD onto the ramp! Then Scotty rips his RVD t-shirt and rolls Rob inside. Lynn grabs him and ends the fight with two cradle piledrivers. The second one is on a chair.

Thoughts: I liked this. Was it their best match? No, it wasn’t, but this was still great. They mixed things up and did some new stuff. Plus, I liked the callbacks to their previous encounters. My only gripe is I don’t think Anton’s betrayal carried as much weight as they wanted. He hasn’t been around long enough for it to work. However, this didn’t ruin things. Also, it’s nice to see Lynn get the win.

Winner: Jerry Lynn (19:54)

Joey says Lynn finally got a win over RVD, but Styles doesn’t think Lynn saw what Scotty Anton did. (Jerry looked at them while it happened. So Joey is wrong.)

Now it’s time for the main event. We’re supposed to get Justin Credible vs. Lance Storm vs. Tommy Dreamer. However, Justin has other ideas. He says he has unfinished business with his former partner. Therefore, if anyone other than Storm comes to the ring, Justin will throw the belt in the trash and leave! This draws Dreamer out to confront him, so Heyman cuts Tommy off. Paul E. says Justin has him by the balls. He tries to reason with Dreamer, while Justin taunts Tommy. Then Lance Storm joins them. Dreamer gets in Lance’s face, but Tommy shakes Storm’s hand and leaves. As Dreamer exits, he flips off Paul Heyman.

ECW Title Match: Justin Credible (c) (w/ Francine) vs. Lance Storm (w/ Dawn Marie)

Storyline: The Impact Players already had problems before Justin tossed the tag belts down. Storm hit Justin by accident twice and cost them one-on-one victories over Nova and Chetti. Then the team imploded after Justin won the ECW Title. Lance confronted him. He said Credible threw away and spat on something that belonged to Storm. Therefore, Justin owed him a championship. Justin told Lance to take his ass back to Calgary before he kicked it. This caused a brawl, and Raven came after Credible. So Storm attacked Raven for interrupting their business. Dreamer also scuffled with Justin. Later, Storm wrestled Jerry Lynn, and Justin tried to cane Lance. He missed and nailed Lynn instead. During the ensuing chaos, Dreamer came to fight. Storm dove onto Justin and Tommy, and everyone brawled.

The Match: The fight heads outside, where Justin canes Storm when he tries a slingshot crossbody. This busts Storm open, so Justin hits him with strikes and grabs chinlocks. Next, Storm fights back and blocks That’s Incredible. He also scores a northern lights suplex. So Justin gets a chair. He rams Storm into it and hip tosses him onto a table they placed on the ramp. Back inside, Storm surprises Justin with a rolling half crab. However, Francine decks Lance with her shoe! This causes a catfight. As the women tussle, Credible grabs Dawn and hits That’s Incredible on her! But this gives Lance an opening. He canes Justin and nails Deep Impact. It only gains him a two. Now they counter That’s Incredible until Justin gets it, but it’s not enough. Neither is a swinging DDT. After more back and forth, Justin ends it with one last That’s Incredible.

Thoughts: This was a solid main event. They had good back-and-forth action and nice reversals. The only problem was it had little heat. Taking Dreamer out of the equation deflated the crowd. Why did they change it? Were they trying to give Storm a moment to shine before he leaves for WCW? If so, I understand, but it didn’t work out the way they wanted. But this was still a good contest.

Winner: Justin Credible (12:28)

Francine admires the belt while Justin recovers. Joey says she’s more concerned with the championship than Credible. So Joey calls her a gold digger. Meanwhile, Dreamer returns and canes Justin. Then he turns toward Francine. She begs off and hugs Tommy. Francine even places the title at his feet. It seems to work. Tommy hugs Francine—and gives her the Spicolli Driver. Afterward, Dreamer kisses the belt and places it on Justin’s chest before yelling at him.

The Good:

• The main event was solid.

• I enjoyed Rhino/Sandman.

• RVD/Lynn was great.

• Tajiri/Corino was good.

• Both 3-Way Dances were fun.

The Bad:

• Production hiccups.

• The awkward opening segment.

Observations:

• Peacock removes segments with blackface, yet they leave the racial slurs Corino and Cyrus used against Tajiri. They aren’t consistent, so why bother?

Performer of the Night:

This had many candidates, so I will pick a surprising one. I’m giving it to Lori Fullington for taking a piledriver on a table. She took a lot of impressive bumps for a non-wrestler.

Final Thoughts:

This PPV is an underrated gem. There were no terrible matches. Even the New Jack stuff was tolerable. Only the technical goofs brought it down a notch. ECW’s business declined and their roster shrank, but the performers still worked their asses off.

Thank you for reading. My next review is the WWF’s Judgment Day 2000. Look for it next Sunday!