Slamboree 2000

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Slamboree

May 7, 2000

Kemper Arena

Kansas City, Missouri

News & Notes: I already covered a lot of the build for this PPV in my Thunder review, so I will try not to repeat any of the information here. Go read the review first if you want the full storylines. Now let’s discuss what happened the week before this event.

The Millionaire’s Club and cast-offs from the New Blood ambushed Russo and Bischoff when they arrived at the Thunder taping. Afterward, Russo yelled at the New Blood for letting it happen. Then Russo called the Millionaire’s Club out. He said they would put their names into a boot and pick them at random. The chosen names would fight members of the New Blood, but it would be under New York rules. This meant there were no referees. You counted your own pin to win. However, things went poorly for the New Blood. This led to another confrontation between the groups. Ric Flair suggested a battle royal to end the night. The winner would receive a title match at the Great American Bash. The wild battle royal saw the brief return of Randy Savage, but Flair won the bout. Now Ric has a championship match at the next show.

They open with a recap of the New York Rules night on Thunder. Bischoff called it guerrilla warfare between the New Blood and the Millionaire’s Club. After the video, we see the Club arrive on a tour bus. The New Blood sits in their locker room and watches them enter the arena. Eric vows to finish the war they started on Wednesday. This leads to another video package, which recaps the other feuds for this PPV. Western Union presents Slamboree!

Then fireworks explode, and Schiavone welcomes everybody to the show. He calls the looming triple cage an imposing edifice. Plus, Madden predicts a clean sweep by the New Blood. Meanwhile, we get the entrances for the Cruiserweight Title bout. Tammy Sytch grabs a mic and slurs her way through a promo. She says Missouri is the show-me state, so she offers the fellas a show. Tammy removes her robe, which thrills Madden. However, the Artist interrupts them.

Cruiserweight Title Match: Chris Candido (c) (w/ Tammy Lynn Sytch) vs. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea (w/ Paisley)

Storyline: Nothing new occurred since my Thunder review. This further cements what I mentioned in that article. They built this feud around Tammy and Paisley, so I’m unsure why Candido and the Artist are even fighting. It’s a shame. Everyone involved deserves better.

The Match: They trade waistlocks and roll-ups until the Artist backdrops Candido to the floor. Then they scuffle onto the ramp. The Artist evades a chair attack and counters a piledriver with a backdrop. Later, they fight on the apron. The Artist suplexes Chris to the outside, but Candido rallies with a low blow. Next, the Artist gives Chris an awkward powerbomb. This leads to two diving DDT attempts. Candido counters and avoids both of them. So the Artist uses a falling Samoan Drop. Now Tammy interferes, which draws Paisley into the mix. They cause chaos and fight over a chair. Paisley ducks a chair shot, and the Artist eats it. This allows Candido to cover for a close two count. The sound guy and timekeeper think it’s a three, which creates confusion. Candido scores the real three after a piledriver and flying headbutt.

Thoughts: This was an awkward mess. They looked lost at times, and they weren’t on the same page. I don’t know why the Artist got worse. He was fine when he was Prince Iaukea, but now it seems his timing is off. This has happened with multiple opponents, so it must be him. Is it the change in ring gear that is throwing him off? Also, the timekeeper and sound guy messed up the finish. All the participants did what they were supposed to do. Yet the bell rang and music played too early.

Winner: Chris Candido (7:59)

Everybody scuffles. Paisley gives Candido a low blow, and the Artist grabs Tammy. Then Paisley rips off Tammy’s dress, so Candido pulls Tammy to safety. Madden says Tammy didn’t leave with her dress, but Candido kept his belt. He says it is more important.

Now the commentators talk about the awesome edifice again. Tony explains the different levels of the triple cage. The second level is the hardcore room. They filled it with weapons. The guitar room is after that, and the WCW championship hangs above the top. One man will emerge with the gold. Madden hopes it isn’t Arquette. They are in Harley Race’s hometown, and Arquette is disgracing the title.

After a recap, Funk walks backstage. He asks for Norman Smiley’s location and learns he is in the bathroom again. Funk enters the room and tells Norman to get his possum ass out of there. Norman doesn’t answer, so Funk opens the stall and finds someone in catcher’s gear. It isn’t Smiley. The real Norman sprays Funk with a fire extinguisher and begins their fight.

Handicap Match for the Hardcore Title: Terry Funk (c) vs. Norman Smiley & ???

Storyline: Russo wanted to get the Hardcore Title off of Terry Funk, so he booked Terry Funk vs. the Wall. During the bout, an unseen person shoved some tables on top of the Wall. This allowed Funk to stomp on the tables and pin the Wall for the win. Meanwhile, Norman Smiley begged Russo for another shot at Funk’s belt. Russo didn’t think Norman had a chance of winning. However, he said Norman would receive his match if he found a partner to face Funk in a handicap fight. The next week, Smiley wrestled Crowbar, and Norman brought a mystery man with him. This overweight individual wore a local mascot’s costume. The problem is, he got the large costume head stuck between the ropes and couldn’t help Norman. Yet Smiley still succeeded with a fluke roll-up.

The Match: Norman and his mystery partner hit Funk with trash cans and chairs. They shove him over a table and knock down the interview set. Funk has enough of the disguised man, so he hurls chairs at him. Terry even chases the guy up a stack of AstroTurf rolls. Next, Funk and Smiley ram each other into equipment cases. The unknown man stands around, so Tony begs him to do something. This leads to more weak trash can shots by the guy in the catcher’s outfit. Later, Funk regains control and chases Norman’s partner toward the ring. Terry uses a chair on him until the mask falls off to reveal—Ralphus!

Funk hangs Ralphus over the ropes and exposes his butt, much to everyone’s horror. Afterward, Smiley takes over with a ladder. He throws it at Funk before Norman and Ralphus both try a Big Wiggle. Funk ends their fun with a chair, so Norman checks on Ralphus. This allows Funk to roll Norman up for the victory.

Thoughts: Parts of this were amusing, and I wanted to enjoy it. I like Funk and Smiley. Ralphus is even fine as a sidekick, but he shouldn’t participate in matches. He dragged this down with his weak trash can attacks. Plus, I don’t want to see his butt. This ended up being an embarrassing disappointment.

Winner: Terry Funk (10:03)

Terry Funk leaves, so Norman and Ralphus do the Big Wiggle. Norman even kisses Ralphus on the cheek.

Mean Gene meets David Arquette at his limo for an interview. Gene says Courteney Cox is getting a million dollars an episode, so why didn’t David ride with the Millionaire’s Club? David says he has his own money. He doesn’t need his wife’s millions. Also, DDP said David isn’t a sports entertainer, so he came alone. But it’s okay. David says he is into this. Next, Gene asks for David’s thoughts about the triple cage. David tells Gene not to let his smile fool you. The cage scares him.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Curt Hennig

Storyline: Stasiak continued to copy aspects of the Mr. Perfect gimmick. This time, he wanted to recreate one of the old Mr. Perfect vignettes. Shawn attempted to break the world record for free throws. They cut back to the gym throughout an episode of Nitro. Shawn came close to reaching the record, but Hennig jumped Shawn from behind and beat him up. Later, Stasiak got revenge by eliminating Hennig from the #1 contender battle royal.

The Match: They trade takedowns until Stasiak regroups, but Curt scores a knee lift when Shawn returns. (Meanwhile, they show the fired Misfits in Action sitting in the front row.) Now Shawn loses his cool. He takes Curt outside and chokes him with a cable beside the announce desk. Back inside, Stasiak nails a flying clothesline and sends Hennig back outside. This time, Hennig tries to slam Shawn on the ramp. Curt’s back gives out, so Stasiak takes him into the ring and grabs a sleeper hold. However, Hennig breaks free and they exchange strikes. This causes an argument with the ref. Stasiak uses the opening. He trips Curt and catapults him into the turnbuckle bar. It allows Stasiak to pin Hennig with his own Hennig Plex.

Thoughts: This was a solid match. It wasn’t thrilling, but they told a decent story, and the action was crisp. Plus, this was a nice palate cleanser after the bout before this. (On a side note, Curt played a rib on Vince Russo during this contest. The ramp has a gimmicked section for later in the show. Russo told the wrestlers not to do moves on it. When Curt threatened to slam Shawn on the ramp, he was trying to make Russo freak out.)

Winner: Shawn Stasiak (7:54)

Backstage, Russo celebrates Stasiak’s win with the New Blood. He high fives some people, but Elizabeth glares at Vince when he turns to her. So Russo goes to Scott Steiner instead. Scott is doing his warm-up before his bout. Vince claps Scott on the shoulder and wishes him luck. Steiner tells Vince to keep his hands off of him.

This leads to the entrance of Steiner’s opponent, Hugh Morrus. Tony says Hugh is the leader of the Misfits in Action, but Russo fired Chavo, Lash, and Van Hammer. They show them sitting in the crowd again. Then Morrus takes a microphone. He says he doesn’t want anyone to call him Hugh Morrus anymore. The name was Bischoff’s brain fart. Now Hugh wants people to call him by his real name, Hugh G. Rection! Or you can call him Captain Rection for short. Hugh grins after saying this, but the commentators act like this is serious. Meanwhile, Steiner taunts some ringside fans.

U.S. Title Match: Scott Steiner (c) (w/ Midajah & Shakira) vs. Hugh G. Rection

Storyline: The original plan was Steiner vs. Booker, as you saw in my Thunder review. However, Booker suffered an injury. Meanwhile, Bischoff wanted to do something about Hugh Morrus and the men who saved Booker on Thunder. Eric referred to them as the Misfits in Action. He put Morrus in a 3-Way Dance against Jarrett and Scott Steiner, and Eric threatened to fire any of the Misfits who interfered. Yet Morrus didn’t need their help. Steiner and Jarrett argued with each other, so Hugh used the opening. Jarrett broke a guitar over Steiner and left Scott to his fate. Afterward, Hugh celebrated with the Misfits. This pissed off Bischoff. He fired all the Misfits, except for Morrus. Later, Steiner drew Hogan’s name on New York Rules night. Morrus helped Hogan attack Steiner, and none of the New Blood aided Scott. So Steiner yelled at Russo for not having his back.

The Match: They exchange strikes, but Steiner bails outside to argue with some fans. Then Hugh scores a Manhattan Drop, spin kick, and flying elbow. Plus, Hugh climbs again, so the girls crotch him behind the ref’s back. He falls into a tree of woe, and Steiner cranks on Hugh’s neck. Steinerlines, suplexes, and even push-ups follow this. Afterward, Steiner continues with more suplexes and a bear hug, but he yells at the ref and the crowd. This allows Hugh to rally. He nails avalanche attacks in the corner, so Steiner responds with a Tiger Bomb. Scott also attempts a Tombstone, but Hugh counters into a sit-out version. Now Hugh climbs for the Raging Climax (No Laughing Matter). He misses, and only his feet clip Steiner’s head. Steiner shakes it off and puts Hugh in the Recliner for the win.

Thoughts: The pieces were there for a good encounter, but Steiner’s stalling killed the flow of the action. Steiner didn’t seem to be gassed. He was trying to rile up the fans. The problem is, it made this drag. Also, it was hard to take this seriously when the commentators had to keep saying Hugh’s new name.

Winner: Scott Steiner (9:24)

Steiner throws the ref out of the ring and puts Hugh in the Recliner again. This time, the fired Misfits jump over the rail to help. R&B (Russo & Bischoff) Security rushes out to stop them, which causes a wild brawl. Now Booker T joins the fray and attacks Steiner. He clears the ring and checks on Hugh.

Meanwhile, Gene interviews Chris Kanyon. He says Kanyon sided with DDP instead of the New Blood. Chris says he considers Page a brother. Blood is thicker than water. Guys like Kidman, Jarrett, and Awesome suck up to Russo, but he doesn’t. DDP told him you get ahead by busting ass, not kissing it. Tonight, he will prove no one is better than Kanyon.

Mike Awesome vs. Chris Kanyon

Storyline: Kanyon continued helping DDP and Arquette. He wanted to aid DDP when Page fought Abbott, but someone locked Kanyon and Arquette in their locker room. Then Jeff Jarrett drew Kanyon’s name on New York Rules night. Kim tried to use the guitar on Kanyon, but DDP stopped her. Page took the guitar and broke it over Kimberly’s head! Afterward, Dallas gave Jarrett a Diamond Cutter to hand Kanyon the victory. Finally, Kanyon and Awesome scuffled again during the #1 contender battle royal. Awesome eliminated Kanyon from the bout.

The Match: Kanyon’s clotheslines and shoulder blocks don’t work, so he regroups. Awesome dives onto him, but Kanyon rallies. He knocks Mike into the post and hits a baseball slide. Plus, Kanyon lands a cannonball off the apron. Next, Awesome nails a flying clothesline and they head outside for some brawling. Mike uses a chair, a bottle of water, and the announce table. Then Awesome climbs for a flying chair shot, but Kanyon crotches him and does a hangman’s neckbreaker. Chris also scores a fireman’s flapjack and tries a piledriver. Awesome turns it into an Alabama Slam before powerbombing Kanyon on his neck! Now Awesome keeps pulling up the mats for an Awesome Bomb on concrete! Kanyon evades this fate until Kevin Nash arrives! He brawls with Awesome, so the New Blood rushes to the ring. The ref declares this a no contest.

Thoughts: I enjoyed this. They told a good story. You knew they wouldn’t have Awesome powerbomb Kanyon on the concrete from the ring, but teasing it got a good reaction from the crowd. Plus, this makes Mike look like a killer. I’m even fine with the finish. It makes sense within the context of this bout.

Winner: No Contest (12:11)

The New Blood swarms Nash, so Flair and Sting join the melee. Plus, Kanyon recovers and fights back. Then R&B Security attacks, but the Millionaire’s Club fends them off. Hudson says the Club stands united. Madden says they are crazy.

Backstage, Russo wants Elizabeth to watch what he has in store for Luger. Liz sits as far from Vince as she can, so Russo insults Liz’s dress. Liz tells Vince he can’t tell her what to do. But Russo disagrees. He holds up a contract that says he can. Russo tells her to change into something classy. He also tells her to wait until she sees what happens next.

The Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell

Storyline: Russo made KroniK wrestle Team Package to earn their tag title chance. During the fight, Bagwell lured Luger away with a bat attack. This left Flair to eat the pin. Then KroniK had their championship shot against Buff and Douglas. However, Buff caused an intentional DQ. Afterward, Russo, Buff, and Douglas ambushed KroniK with baseball bats. Meanwhile, Russo led Liz around on a leash. Luger went after him, so Vince challenged Luger to a match for Liz’s freedom. It was a trap. Russo’s security swarmed Lex and maced him. KroniK came to help and received the same fate. Plus, the cops arrested KroniK. Later, Russo confronted Elizabeth in the women’s locker room. He yelled at her for hitting him with the bat, so she slapped Vince. Finally, the Wall drew Luger’s name on New York Rules night. Russo did commentary and whacked Luger with the bat.

The Match: They start with posing before shoving each other around the ring. Then Luger uses a suplex and Manhattan Drop before taking Buff outside. He rams Bagwell into the rail and steps. Plus, Lex throws Buff into the ring by his necklace. However, Buff answers with a double-arm DDT and grabs chinlocks. When those don’t work, Buff jumps on Luger’s back until Lex knees him in the crotch. (Meanwhile, Liz tips Russo out of his chair and hits him with a bat. Afterward, she brings the bat to the ring.) Now Luger powerslams Buff and calls for the Rack. Bagwell stops it, steals the bat from Liz, and nails Luger with it. This sets up a Blockbuster attempt, but Liz retrieves the bat and decks Bagwell. It opens the door for Luger’s Rack and the victory.

Thoughts: Most of this was dull, but I liked the finish. The crowd reacted well to it. So I can’t say it didn’t do its job. This was fine, but it wasn’t great.

Winner: The Total Package (9:30)

Liz enters the ring and hugs Luger. Lex raises her arm, but Chuck Palumbo attacks Luger from behind! We see Chuck is wearing gear with the logo of Luger’s gym on it. He hits Lex with a flex bar and punts him in the ribs. The commentators say Chuck is copying Luger. Madden calls him the improved Total Package or bigger package. While he says this, Palumbo puts Luger in the Rack, and Bagwell carries Elizabeth backstage.

Next, Gene interviews Shane Douglas. He says almost a decade of bad blood comes to a head tonight. Shane says he spent seven torturous years listening to Ric Flair’s BS. Douglas even lists some of Flair’s catchphrases. He says it goes on and on, but it ends tonight! Shane is damn sick of hearing it. Douglas tells Flair to look into his eyes. After tonight, Flair will know he had his ass franchised.

Afterward, Shane comes to the ring and cuts another promo. He tells Kansas City to watch the legendary Ric Flair go down to a better wrestler. There’s nothing they can do about it. Meanwhile, Madden reminds everybody Russo promised to interfere. He wants his five minutes with Flair. As he says this, Flair arrives with a microphone. He admonishes the ref for not opening the ropes for him. Then Ric calls Shane a dipshit and threatens to kick his ECW ass.

Shane Douglas vs. Ric Flair

Storyline: Douglas asked for a fight with Luger after Spring Stampede. Buff caused a distraction to help Shane. Then Douglas spotted someone in the crowd wearing a Sting mask. He thought it was Russo again, but it was Flair! However, Shane got revenge by jumping Flair from behind when Ric tried to help Luger. Meanwhile, Russo promised to interfere at Slamboree. He wanted his five minutes with Ric. In fact, he demanded his five minutes early. Flair obliged, but it was an ambush. Buff and Douglas beat up Ric until KroniK saved him. Later, Kidman drew Flair’s name on New York Rules night. Konnan and Mysterio aided Kidman, so Nash intervened and fought with Konnan and Rey. Finally, KroniK faced Buff and Douglas on New York Rules night. They counted their own three and swiped the tag belts, but are they the champions?

The Match: They trade headlocks, shoulder blocks, and strikes. Flair gains the advantage with an eye poke, but Shane slams him off the top rope. Then Shane puts Ric in the Figure Four, but Ric gets a rope break. More cheap shots and low blows follow until they spill outside. Ric takes Shane to the announce table, where Ric taunts Madden. Back inside, Shane pulls a small chain from his boot. He decks Flair and lands rolling suplexes. This leads to more strike exchanges and low blows. Now Flair attacks the leg and locks in the Figure Four, but interference arrives. Buff and someone in a Sting mask attack Ric. The commentators say the mystery man is Russo. He hits Ric with the bat, and Douglas covers for the three.

Thoughts: This was decent, but the intensity didn’t match the story. The fight was supposed to end years of frustration. Yet they wrestled a fairly normal contest. Other than some low blows and a small chain, it wasn’t brutal. So I will call this good but not outstanding.

Winner: Shane Douglas (8:46)

Buff, Douglas, and the man in the Sting mask continue attacking until Flair is down. Then they leave, but Ric yells at Russo. He tells him to get back there for his five minutes. The man in the mask shakes his head, but Luger appears and throws him into the ring. However, Russo arrives! He decks Luger, as the masked man smashes a miniature Statue of Liberty collectible over Flair’s head. Afterward, the man pulls off the mask to reveal—David Flair! With Flair down, Russo tells them to start the clock. He hits Ric with the bat and taunts him with crotch chops. So Kevin Nash returns. They wait for him as he slowly approaches the ring. Nash fights until Daffney hits a low blow on Kevin. This allows Russo and company to get the upper hand. They taunt their fallen victims and walk away.

Now it’s time for Vampiro vs. Sting. Vampiro brings a pipe with him and waits on the ramp. Lightning, thunder, and a crow signal Sting’s arrival. Vampiro attacks him when he enters the arena.

Sting vs. Vampiro

Storyline: Things escalated since the Thunder I reviewed. Vampiro invited Sting to meet in a graveyard. Sting arrived, and Vampiro led him on a chase. He lured Sting to an open grave, where Vampiro smashed a headstone over Sting’s head. It knocked Sting into the hole. Plus, Vampiro shoved a wheelbarrow on top of him. Then Vampiro returned to the arena to gloat, but Sting lowered from the rafters and attacked Vamp with a bat. Next, Vampiro fought DDP on New York Rules night. Sting sneaked up on Vamp by hiding behind a black blanket. He dumped a bucket of red liquid on Vampiro after attacking him. This gave DDP an easy win. Sting also had a New York Rules contest with Awesome. The fired Misfits in Action helped Sting succeed. Finally, Sting and Vampiro eliminated each other from the #1 contender battle royal, and they brawled.

The Match: Sting gives Vampiro a suplex on the ramp, Manhattan Drop, and missile dropkick, so Vampiro regroups. He can’t rest because Sting lands a plancha and rams him into the rail. Next, they scuffle around the announce table, where Sting nails a DDT on the floor. However, Vamp fires back with a low blow and flying clothesline. He also grabs the pipe and gives Sting shots to the gut and back. More low blows and pipe attacks follow, so Sting crawls to the ramp. There, Vampiro does a facebuster and spin kick. Afterward, they return to the ring. Vampiro uses the pipe on Sting’s ribs and places him on the top rope, but Sting throws his own low blow. Now Sting hits a superbomb and takes the pipe. This leads to two Stinger Splashes. One is with the pipe. Plus, Sting performs two Death Drops for the victory.

Thoughts: They kept it short and explosive, and the crowd reacted well to it. The problem is, this was a decisive victory for Sting, so it should end the feud. This is backward. They had a First Blood fight and a Graveyard encounter on TV. Then they did a normal bout on this PPV, which Sting won. Yet the feud is only beginning. The strange booking doesn’t do Vampiro any favors.

Winner: Sting (6:49)

Sting leaves, but he sees Vampiro rising, so he returns for one more shot with the pipe. Then Sting walks to the back while they use lightning and thunder effects in the arena.

Next, Tenay interviews DDP and David Arquette, but what is David wearing!? That is ridiculous! Mike says tonight could end Arquette’s acting career. He is putting it all on the line. David says this is true, but at least he looks good. He also admits to being afraid. However, they have a game plan! DDP tells David to stay out of Jarrett’s way and let him handle things. Page also says to head to the top and fend off any interference if someone else arrives. Then DDP makes sure David knows not to grab the belt. David says he doesn’t want it.

Meanwhile, Nash searches for Russo backstage.

Afterward, Tenay interviews Kidman, Torrie, Bischoff, and Kimberly. Mike says Billy faces his toughest challenge against the immortal Hulk Hogan. Kidman tells Mike to stop kissing Hogan’s ass. He already proved Hogan is anything but immortal. Besides, he already beat Hogan three times. With Bischoff as the ref, he can’t lose. After Kidman says this, Bischoff claims he looks good in stripes. He promises to call it down the middle.

This leads to the entrances. Hogan brings Horace with him, and they wear their F.U.N.B. shirts. (This stands for fuck you, New Blood.) They enter the ring, but Bischoff says Horace has to leave. Hogan tells his nephew to head backstage. Once he leaves, Kidman stalls and leads Hogan on a chase.

Hulk Hogan vs. Billy Kidman (w/ Torrie Wilson)

Storyline: Hogan rammed the New Blood’s limo with his Charger and scuffled with Awesome. Later, Kidman helped the Wall defeat Horace in a Tables Match. Hogan came to his nephew’s aid, so Kidman and Awesome attacked. Awesome put Hogan through a table with an Awesome Bomb. Next, Kidman issued an open challenge, and Nash answered. However, Konnan and Rey jumped Nash. Kevin chased them to the parking lot, where K-Dawg’s truck stalled. So Nash smashed the windows with a tire iron. Meanwhile, Kidman also interfered in Hogan vs. Awesome. Afterward, an enraged Hogan whacked everybody with a chair. Then, on Thunder, Hogan, Nash, Awesome, and Kidman brawled. This ended with Nash giving Awesome a Jackknife. Finally, Hogan entered the #1 contender battle royal, but Bret Hart ambushed Hogan and eliminated him. This allowed Bischoff to hit Hogan with a bat, and Kidman covered him while Eric counted another fake pinfall.

The Match: They scuffle and Kidman tries some awkward pin attempts. This leads to attacks with a chair. Hogan press slams Kidman onto it! Next, they battle outside, and Kidman uses Torrie as a shield. It doesn’t work. Hogan takes off his weight belt and whips Kidman, but Bischoff helps Kidman take it away. Later, Hogan gains control, but Bischoff refuses to count his pinfalls. Now, they brawl again until Hogan hulks up. He nails a big boot, but Bischoff blocks a leg drop. Hogan punches Eric and hits the move, so Eric grabs a chair. The ensuing chair attacks leave Hogan bloody.

This doesn’t stop Hogan from grabbing tables. He fumbles with a broken one. Yet Hogan still puts Bischoff through a table. It gives Kidman an opening. He puts Hogan on a table and tries a splash. Hogan moves, so Kidman crashes. Since Bischoff is out, Horace runs to the ring. Hogan covers, and Horace uses Bischoff’s hand to count the three.

Thoughts: There were too many awkward moments for me to call it great, but it wasn’t bad. You could tell Hogan isn’t used to using tables. He struggled with them, which dragged the action to a crawl. Plus, they had some rough exchanges early in the bout. I enjoyed parts of this, but the overall presentation fell flat.

Winner: Hulk Hogan (13:31)

Elsewhere, Russo drags Liz to a bus and puts her inside, but Luger is there waiting for her. Then Russo jumps in his car and leaves while Nash watches from a distance.

Next, Gene interviews Jarrett. He says Jeff could become a two-time WCW champion if he wins the Ready to Rumble Triple Cage Match. Gene suggests it might be a handicap fight with DDP and Arquette. This annoys Jarrett. He says Gene has it all figured out, but he’s still a geriatric slap ass. Jeff says he can’t wait to embarrass the hundred and fifty pound turd, David Arquette. Jarrett promises to play a game of boots and ladders, and they will choke on his boot laces.

This leads to Buffer’s introduction. A fan heckles Michael, but he ignores them and says his catchphrase. The cage lowers, as Tony explains the rules. You progress to the second level with a ladder. This tier has weapons, and the third tier contains guitars. The first person to grab the belt is the winner.

Triple Cage Match for the WCW Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. David Arquette (c) vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Storyline: Courteney Cox told her husband he wasn’t a wrestler. She worried about him, so David attempted to return the WCW Title. However, Jarrett said it’s not that easy. Arquette isn’t the commissioner. Then Bischoff added David to the Slamboree main event. Plus, he booked Arquette in a warm-up match with Tank Abbott. DDP tried to get David out of it by fighting Abbott himself, but Jarrett helped Abbott beat DDP. Afterward, David faced Abbott. DDP returned in an ambulance. He gave Tank a Diamond Cutter, and Arquette pinned Abbott! Finally, DDP and Jarrett eliminated each other from the battle royal. They brawled to the entrance, but Arquette fell through the gimmicked part of the stage before they could do their big spot.

The Match: Jarrett chases Arquette and exchanges strikes with DDP. When Page gets Jeff down, he lets Arquette try a flying splash, but David misses. Afterward, DDP runs Jeff into the post, and they fight over a ladder. The scuffle leaves Jarrett bloody. Next, they try to climb to the second level, but DDP and Jarrett pull each other off the ladder. Jarrett hits a suplex. DDP nails a sit-out bomb. Now DDP shoves Jarrett down again and reaches the next tier.

Page uses bolt cutters to open the door, so Jeff stops him with a trash can shot. He also breaks a plastic tray over Page’s head. It doesn’t keep him down. Page attacks, and they crash through the wall of the cage! Later, DDP puts Jarrett through a table. Yet Jarrett shows life, so Dallas decks him with a chair. It’s still not enough. Arquette climbs up to help, but DDP sends him to the top to guard the belt. As he does this, Mike Awesome arrives and attacks DDP, so DDP gives Mike a Diamond Cutter. This leads to the third tier.

DDP and Jarrett enter the guitar room. They both miss their swings and destroy the guitars. Then Page hands a guitar to Arquette before slamming the door on Jarrett’s head. Once Jeff recovers, they climb up the corners of the third level to meet Arquette. So David lifts his guitar and—clocks DDP! This allows Jarrett to climb and grab the belt.

Thoughts: It was a unique spectacle, and parts of it were good, but the rest dragged. The floors of the top two levels were unstable. They had to be careful with their movements, which made things awkward. This was an interesting idea on paper, but it disappointed me in practice. Plus, the swerve made no sense.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett (New Champion) (15:29)

Jarrett celebrates his win with Arquette. Meanwhile, Mike Awesome grabs DDP and prepares for an Awesome Bomb. Kanyon stops him, but Mike rams Kanyon into the cage. Then he launches Kanyon off of the structure! Kanyon lands on the ramp and dents it. The commentators yell for help as the show goes off the air.

The Good:

• Stasiak/Hennig was solid.

• Awesome/Kanyon was good.

• I liked Sting/Vampiro, despite the bad booking.

The Bad:

• The main event was disappointing.

• The opener was a mess.

• Ralphus’ butt.

• The Kanyon stunt.

Observations:

• They never explained why those random goons kidnapped Disco at the last PPV. Disco showed up on TV like nothing happened.

• Arquette pinned Tank Abbott on TV. I bet that made Goldberg happy since they want him to work with Tank when he returns.

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to Kanyon. I’ll explain why I find the stunt tasteless in a moment, but I respect Kanyon for taking the bump. He did as he was told, so I don’t blame him for the decision to do it. That was WCW and Russo.

Final Thoughts:

This was slightly better than Spring Stampede, but that isn’t saying much. Slamboree was not a good show. Again, this contained some nice moments and decent matches. However, the nonsense and bad booking ruined it. Plus, this has the dark cloud of Arquette’s title reign over it. Also, the timing of the Kanyon stunt was tasteless. This is the same building where Owen Hart died, and it was almost a year after his death. The show leaves a bad taste in your mouth because of this.

Thank you for reading. My next review is ECW’s Hardcore Heaven 2000. Look for it next Sunday!