The Great American Bash 2000

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

The Great American Bash

June 11, 2000

Baltimore Arena

Baltimore, Maryland

News & Notes: After Slamboree, Bischoff bragged about swerving DDP. He said David Arquette had a dream to become a wrestling champion, and Bischoff fulfilled that dream. As far as Arquette, he told Page he never should have trusted a man from Hollywood. Then Bischoff and Russo continued their tyranny. Russo terrorized Elizabeth. He put her in matches with Daffney, Rhonda Singh, and Madusa. When Luger tried to help, Main Event Chuck Palumbo broke Luger’s face with a Lex Flexer. Meanwhile, Bischoff continued his mission to get the Hardcore belt from Terry Funk. First, Smiley and Ralphus failed to do it, so Bischoff fired them. Next, Douglas succeeded, only for Funk to outsmart him. Not even Candido and an angry horse could stop Terry Funk. However, Bischoff himself finally took the gold with the Mamalukes’ help.

Now for a rundown of extra storylines. Smiley and Ralphus attempted to find new work after losing their jobs. They sucked at selling popcorn, washing cars, walking dogs, and backyard wrestling. While they didn’t find a new role, someone else did. Ernest Miller became Bischoff’s yes-man. He repeated everything Eric said, much to Eric’s annoyance. Plus, the Cat ran the show for one night. Elsewhere, Miss Hancock tried to steal the spotlight with her dancing. When people took exception, David Flair came to her aid, but no one knows why. This didn’t sit well with David’s fiancé, Daffney. In other news, Sid made a brief return. Everyone thought he was there to save DDP, but Sid sided with Bischoff! And speaking of Eric, he promised a big surprise for this PPV. Eric vowed it would change the face of sports entertainment.

They open with a recap of Goldberg’s return. He saved Nash from Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner. Hudson said the impressive and unstoppable force was back. Then Goldberg defied the plans of Russo and Bischoff. He thwarted Abbott and Steiner’s use of cold steel and double-teaming objects. (Those were their words, not mine.) This allowed Goldberg to defeat Tank Abbott. Plus, Goldberg rescued Nash again, so Bischoff suspended him and had him arrested. For this reason, we see cops waiting outside the arena to arrest Goldberg if he appears tonight. Once they show the police, we get a hype video for the important matches on the card.

Afterward, Tony welcomes everyone to the show, and the Misfits in Action enter the arena. They all have new names. Chavo is now Lieutenant Loco. Lash calls himself Corporal Cajun. Van Hammer chose Major Stash. (He was supposed to be Private Stash, but Hammer complained to creative about his low rank in this fictional army. What a moron. He killed the joke.) And Tylene Buck is Major Gunns. Once they arrive, Rection makes them fall in line. He says Loco is on a mission to defend his Cruiserweight title against Disco, so Rection tells Loco to sound off. However, Chavo pulls out a grenade and tells Disco to say hello to his little friend. Rection tells him to put it away, but Chavo still threatens to kill Disco.

Cruiserweight Title Match: Lt. Loco (c) (w/ Misfits in Action) vs. Disco Inferno (w/ The Filthy Animals)

Storyline: The Cruiserweight division fell into complete chaos. First, Daffney and Crowbar faced Candido and Tammy in a mixed tag with the title on the line. Daffney scored the pin, but she and Crowbar couldn’t agree on who got the belt. Then Daffney pinned Crowbar to become the official Cruiserweight champion. Meanwhile, the Filthy Animals reformed with Disco, Juvi, and Tygress as new members. They started a war with the Misfits in Action. Plus, Rey’s girlfriend Tygress became jealous when Major Gunns messed with Mysterio, so they scuffled. Soon the Animals/M.I.A. war spilled into the Cruiserweight landscape. Lt. Loco wrestled Disco and Daffney in a 3-Way Dance, and Loco won the gold! However, not everything was rosy for the Misfits. Rection’s senile grandfather returned wearing an army uniform. He cost Rection and G.I. Bro a chance at the tag belts and harassed Major Gunns.

The Match: They exchange strikes, taunts, and takedowns. Then Loco sends Disco outside, and the Misfits attack him behind the ref’s back. Next, Loco knocks Disco to the floor again and lands a plancha. This time, the Animals ambush Loco while the ref isn’t looking. It allows Disco to nail a diving elbow. As this happens, Rection’s grandpa arrives. We learn his name is Pops. He harasses Tygress, which causes a fight with the Animals. During the chaos, Disco scores a Russian Leg Sweep. Plus, Juvi hits a sling blade on Loco and tries the Juvi Elbow. It misses, so Loco sends Juvi out of the ring. Disco uses the opening for the Last Dance, but Cajun stops him. He performs a modified leg sweep on Disco and pulls Chavo on top for the win.

Thoughts: The little action we saw wasn’t bad, but this was a backdrop for the shenanigans on the outside. Also, they rushed through everything, so the fans didn’t have time to react. The opener is supposed to excite the crowd, but this was forgettable nonsense.

Winner: Lt. Loco (4:57)

The Animals jump the M.I.A. after the bell and stomp on Pops on their way out. He’s still down, so Major Gunns shows concern. Rection tells her she needs to perform mouth-to-mouth on him. However, she stops to rip her t-shirt first, so Madden admonishes her. Yet he changes his tune once he sees her top. Then Gunns tries to revive Pops until he grabs her for a kiss. They have to pull Pops off of her.

Backstage, Bischoff and Miller sit on a couch while the police assure them everything is fine. No one will let Goldberg into the building. Bischoff asks if they are sure. He doesn’t want anybody to ruin his surprise for Kevin Nash. As Eric speaks, Miller repeats everything he says.

Next, Mean Gene interviews the Hardcore co-champions, the Mamalukes. Vito reminds him it’s the Paisans. Then Johnny gives Gene a hard time when Gene can’t decide who to talk to first. Undeterred, Gene says they will face KroniK to determine the number one contenders for the tag titles. Vito says they beat up bigger guys in the county jail, so they don’t have time for this. Besides, Vito doesn’t sweat anybody. He’s the Hardcore champ! Gene questions this. Is he champion, or is Johnny? Johnny says this is a good question, but Vito drags him away before they can answer. Meanwhile, Tony tells us we can send in our cable bill for a free Hulk Hogan pool raft!

Tag Team #1 Contender Match: KroniK vs. The Mamalukes

Storyline: Russo and Bischoff tasked the Mamalukes, the Harris Brothers, and Harlem Heat 2000 with getting the tag belts off of KroniK, but they failed. Next, they sent Shane Douglas and the Wall, but Douglas walked out of the match. (More on that later.) However, KroniK got revenge on Douglas. As the other teams didn’t complete the task, Russo enlisted Stasiak & Palumbo. This time, Ernest Miller said KroniK would lose the gold on a disqualification. So Palumbo baited KroniK into using the Lex Flexer as a weapon. Now Stasiak & Palumbo are the champs. Then KroniK received a rematch, but Miller forced the referee to count them out. Meanwhile, Bischoff gave the Hardcore Title to the Mamalukes as a reward for helping him defeat Terry Funk. They also can’t agree on who holds the belt. There seems to be a lot of that going around.

The Match: Vito keeps the Hardcore championship on during the action. He even polishes it. While Vito does this, Johnny fends off KroniK and scores a heel kick. This allows the Mamalukes to double-team them. The teams exchange strikes until Clark nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Plus, KroniK uses a full nelson slam and a powerslam. The onslaught continues, but Johnny performs a DDT and tags Vito. He hands out strikes and takedowns while still wearing the gold. However, KroniK yanks the strap off of him, and Adams almost kills Vito with an F5! Yet the Mamalukes rally with a mafia kick and powerslam. Afterward, Johnny does his springboard crossbody, but it takes two tries and he misses. As this happens, Vito goes outside to collect his belt. This enables KroniK to double-team Johnny and land the High Times for the victory.

Thoughts: The Vito stuff was somewhat amusing, but the rest was basic and dull. Plus, they had an awkward finish. It seemed like Adams and Clark weren’t on the same page. They started and stopped two different moves before doing the High Times. Then they couldn’t agree on where to stand. Maybe they were high.

Winners: KroniK (9:20)

A new backstage interviewer named Pamela Paulshock interviews DDP. She talks about his Ambulance Match with Mike Awesome, but she can’t pronounce the word ambulance. So DDP calls her a bimbo. He also shows disgust at Mike Awesome’s career killer nickname. Page says Bischoff and his super bitch soon-to-be ex-wife don’t have him beaten down. DDP has the motivation, inspiration, and good god stimulation to come after Mike Awesome.

This leads to the entrances. DDP brings Kanyon with him. He sits in a wheelchair wearing his halo brace. Page leaves him at the entrance to keep him away from the action. The commentators wonder if Kanyon should be there.

Ambulance Match: Mike Awesome vs. Diamond Dallas Page (w/ Chris Kanyon)

Storyline: Awesome and the New Blood jumped DDP in Kanyon’s hospital room, and Kimberly emptied a bed pan on DDP’s face. Then Kim threw Page’s stuff on the lawn, changed the locks on their house, and got a restraining order against Dallas. She even enlisted Awesome as her bodyguard. This emboldened Kimberly, so she patronized other women on the roster. As for Awesome, he called himself the career killer after what he did to Kanyon. He challenged people to Ambulance and Stretcher Matches. Plus, Mike mocked Kanyon’s injuries by wearing a fake halo brace, which he used as a weapon. However, G.I. Bro helped DDP put Awesome through a table. Later, Kimberly started a beef with Ms. Hancock. She wanted Hancock to wrestle her and Awesome. Before the bout, Hancock tricked Kim into signing a waiver, which nullified the restraining order. Hancock teamed with DDP and they won.

The Match: Within seconds, Awesome and DDP knock out the ref and brawl to the floor. Then they have a chair duel, which Page wins. Nevertheless, Awesome answers with a step-up back elbow, splash, and hotshot. He also takes DDP outside and gives him an Awesome Bomb on a table. Yet DDP rolls off the stretcher and comes back for more. Now Awesome lands Awesome Splashes, and Kimberly attacks Page with a pipe! This draws out Hancock to scuffle with Kim. While they fight, DDP scores a low blow and a super Diamond Cutter. He places Awesome on the stretcher and heads toward the ramp. But now Bischoff’s music plays! He distracts Page with a chair, and Kanyon rises to his feet! Kanyon gives Page a Diamond Cutter off the stage! Afterward, Kanyon pulls Awesome off the stretcher, and they load DDP into the ambulance.

Thoughts: I wanted to like this. The action between DDP and Awesome was good. I liked the Awesome Bomb on the table and the super Diamond Cutter. In spite of this, the shenanigans brought this down a notch. They rushed the finish, which didn’t help matters. The swerve already made no sense. The one good thing is I like where Kanyon’s character goes from here.

Winner: Mike Awesome (9:41)

Tony can’t believe Kanyon’s actions. He says DDP stayed by Kanyon’s bedside for days! Madden, on the other hand, calls this beautiful. He claims DDP wanted to keep Kanyon in the midcard. Then Tony wonders how far back this goes. Did the New Blood convince Kanyon to turn while he was in the hospital?

Now it’s time for G.I. Bro (Booker T) vs. Shawn Stasiak in a Boot Camp Match. This has last man standing rules. G.I. Bro rides a zip-line to the ring and lands on the top rope. Fireworks explode when he arrives. Hudson says Bro is ready for war! With that said, Stasiak appears. He also wears camouflage, and Shawn says he is what a real and perfect soldier of fortune should look like. Madden says Stasiak looks like a drunk Paul Stanley. (On a side note, some fan in the crowd had what sounded like a duck call. They kept blowing it while Stasiak spoke.)

Boot Camp Match: G.I. Bro vs. Shawn Stasiak

Storyline: Hennig revealed he asked Bischoff to rehire the Misfits. Then Curt helped Stasiak win matches against M.I.A. members. (He never explained why.) Hennig’s actions started issues between the Misfits and Stasiak, so Booker aided the Misfits. When Gene asked him why, Booker said he respected them for fighting against the New Blood. Later, Bischoff gave Booker a chance to rejoin the New Blood, but Booker and the Misfits disrespected Eric. As a result, Bischoff fired Booker T. However, Booker returned under a new name. He brought back his original gimmick from his early career. You can call him G.I. Bro. Afterward, Bro beat Stasiak, so Shawn attacked him with a chair. This led to a challenge. Booker wanted a Boot Camp Match against Stasiak. Finally, G.I. Bro and Rection faced Stasiak and Palumbo for the tag belts, but Rection’s grandpa ruined it.

The Match: They brawl in and out of the ring and against the rail. Then both men get eight counts from strikes and choking. Next, they fight down the aisle, where Stasiak lands a suplex on the ramp. He also scores a flying clothesline in the ring for a nine count. After more back and forth, Stasiak nails a gut-wrench bomb and grabs a sleeper hold. When Booker breaks free, he performs a Harlem Sidekick, uranage, and missile dropkick. This draws Palumbo to the ring. G.I. Bro fends him off only for Stasiak to use the Lex Flexer. It gets another nine count, so Stasiak and Palumbo attack again. This time, Bro does a double clothesline and Spinaroonie. Plus, he hands out sidekicks. Now Bro clocks Shawn with the Flexer for the win.

Thoughts: Most of this was dull and repetitive. Only the finish was interesting, but they lost the crowd for the rest of it. Some fans chanted boring, and I agreed with them. I felt bad for Booker. Thankfully, good things are about to come for him.

Winner: G.I. Bro (13:58)

Gene finds Kanyon in his locker room, so he demands an explanation for his actions. Kanyon says Bischoff visited him in the hospital more than anybody. Eric told him all he had to do to become a star was take out DDP with his own finishing move. After Chris says this, Gene shows him footage of DDP getting out of the ambulance and limping away. (We also see Goldberg’s monster truck in the background.) Gene says it doesn’t look like Kanyon put him out of action. Kanyon says he is positive he did. In fact, he’s Positively Kanyon! As he says this, Kanyon mocks DDP’s Diamond Cutter sign and laughs.

Afterward, Shane Douglas comes to the ring with a mic, so Hudson tells the censors to get ready. After calling the Baltimore fans pieces of shit, Shane tells them to listen to a real star. He has a lesson for them. They put a wall in front of the Franchise, but this could be a historic night. Baltimore will witness the end of two careers. The New Blood will end Hogan and Dick Flair! Plus, the Franchise will define his career at the Wall’s expense. With that said, Douglas challenges the Wall to a Best of Five Tables Match. Shane seems to think this means they will break five tables. Madden says it doesn’t sound right, but Tony repeats what Douglas said. This only confuses the viewers because no one corrects them.

Best of Five Tables Match: Shane Douglas vs. The Wall

Storyline: WCW suspended Buff Bagwell for a backstage altercation, so Douglas picked a new partner. He teamed with the Wall to face KroniK. However, Shane abandoned the Wall during the bout. Meanwhile, Shane briefly took Funk’s Hardcore belt with Candido’s help. Later, Funk regained it through trickery. He disguised himself in a gorilla costume and pretended to be Ralphus. Shane was already in hot water with Bischoff. He lost control of things when Eric put Shane in charge for a night. So losing the Hardcore championship made his situation worse. This led to punishments. First, they booked Shane vs. Scott Steiner in the Asylum. Then they gave Shane a WCW Title shot only to screw him over and humiliate him. On top of this, the Wall sought revenge. He put Shane through multiple tables.

The Match: They trade strikes, and the Wall shrugs off a swinging neckbreaker. Nonetheless, Shane uses an eye rake before landing a gourdbuster and rolling neck snap. He also sends the Wall outside and knocks him over a table. Now Shane attempts a suplex, but the Wall blocks it. Then he chokeslams Shane on a table and does a back suplex on a second one. This puts the Wall up 2-0. (At this point, the commentators figure out the rules.) Shane rallies, but he runs down the aisle when the Wall shows life. There, Shane finds a stack of three tables beside a ladder. (Who put that there?) They climb to the top and brawl back and forth. Shane stops two tries at a chokeslam. Plus, he dons a fist weapon and knocks the Wall onto the stack! He crashes through all three tables, so Shane wins.

Thoughts: WCW either forget their own rules or don’t explain them. Either way, it’s a mess. I’ve lost track of the number of times the commentators can’t even figure out what is happening. The level of disorganization in this company is alarming. They have no guidance.

Winner: Shane Douglas (8:12)

Shane taunts the Wall afterward, but he runs when the Wall stirs. Since Shane is gone, the Wall grabs Slick Johnson instead and chokeslams him on a table. Meanwhile, Hollywood Hogan arrives at the building. The cops move to let him drive his Charger into the parking lot. Hogan emerges from the car wearing feather boas. He says he will kick someone’s ass tonight, but Madden claims Hogan looks scared.

Next, it’s time for Tank Abbott vs. Scott Steiner in an Asylum Match. The Asylum is a small domed cage. It fits inside the ring, and the only way to win is by submission. Scott Steiner brings Midajah and Shakira with him, so Madden loses his mind. Steiner also attacks Tank, but Penzer announces a change to the plans. Since this is Scott’s signature creation, Bischoff leveled the playing field. He added Rick Steiner to the bout. This is now a handicap fight.

Handicap Asylum Match: Scott Steiner (w/ Midajah & Shakira) vs. Tank Abbott & Rick Steiner

Storyline: Scott Steiner disrespected Russo, so Russo turned to Abbott. To make matters worse, Rick Steiner joined Tank, and they attacked Scott. Afterward, Scott challenged Rick to an Asylum Match. During the fight, Tank raised the structure and helped Rick beat Scott up again. All the while, Tank continued antagonizing Goldberg. He mocked his entrance and used his music. So Goldberg stalked Tank and Rick in his monster truck. This didn’t stop Tank and Rick from threatening Midajah and Shakira to screw with Steiner. However, Goldberg returned and fought Abbott. Bill won with Nash’s help, so Tank wanted a rematch. He threatened Schiavone’s son to get his bout, but Nash came to stop him. Finally, Bischoff made Scott Steiner run the New Blood Gauntlet. They ambushed Scott, put him in a straitjacket, and stuffed him in a body bag. When Goldberg intervened, Bischoff sent the cops.

The Match: Rick and Tank punch Scott and ram him into the cage. Then they do it again before Rick holds Scott for a punch. While Rick holds him, Tank removes his gloves and wraps a chain around his fist. Rick says this is going too far, so Tank pretends to relent. When Rick turns, Tank goes for the loaded punch. Rick shoves Scott aside and eats the punch himself. This allows Scott to give Tank a low blow and take the chain. He punches Tank and puts him in the Recliner for the submission.

Thoughts: This was another gimmick that amounted to nothing on this show. WCW promoted all these unique contests and did little with them. This PPV is all hype and no substance. Worse yet, the one interesting spot in this bout was awkward. I doubt most of the fans even noticed Rick Steiner pushed Scott out of the way of Tank’s punch.

Winner: Scott Steiner (3:46)

Outside, a limo arrives. Tony wonders if this is Bischoff’s big surprise, but it’s Ric Flair and his entire family! As they exit the limo, we see Goldberg’s monster truck again.

After a recap, Gene interviews Hollywood Hogan. Gene talks about their history together. He also says the young upstart Billy Kidman wants to make this Hogan’s last night in wrestling. Hogan says maybe not. He and Gene can stay around as long as they want because they’re etched in stone. As far as Hollywood, they’re talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Next, Gene asks about the special referee, Horace Hogan. Hollywood says blood is thicker than New Blood. Gene promises to remember that. Plus, he points out Hogan’s new outfit. Hogan says you have to reinvent yourself. Goldberg and Nash are here, so it’s about to get ugly. Hogan tells Gene to watch what he does to Kidman.

This leads to the entrances. Hogan’s career is on the line, and Bischoff made Horace the referee. However, Hogan gets a title shot if he wins! Kidman and Horace enter together. Despite the sign of solidarity, Hudson asks if Kidman can trust Horace. Tony says they already cleared that up.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Billy Kidman

Storyline: Kidman and the New Blood attacked Hogan and threatened Horace’s job. But the latter was a ruse. They lured Horace to join the New Blood by giving him Torrie. Horace betrayed his uncle. However, this annoyed Kidman. Eric said it was only business, but Kidman was jealous. Kidman didn’t trust Horace, and he became possessive of Torrie. She eventually had enough and turned on Kidman by giving him a low blow. Later, Kidman settled his issues with Horace and apologized to Torrie, but she slapped him. Meanwhile, Hogan wagered his career for a rematch with Kidman, but Hogan gets a title shot if he wins. This led to a New Blood attack. They ambushed Hogan with a chair and burned his red and yellow gear. It pushed Hogan over the edge. Hollywood Hogan returned. He faced Horace in a cage and won with a leg drop on a chair.

The Match: Hogan throws strikes and makes Kidman regroup multiple times. Then Kidman answers with an eye rake and choking, so Horace admonishes him. Kidman complains, but Horace says he’s calling it down the middle. Next, Hogan pulls off his weight belt and whips Kidman. Billy crawls to get away, so Hogan grabs a chair. It backfires when Kidman dropkicks it into Hogan’s face and gives him an awkward DDT on the weapon. Now Kidman lands a flying splash, which only gets two. This causes an argument between Horace and Kidman, and Hogan hulks up. They brawl around the announce table until Torrie arrives. She hands Hogan brass knuckles, but Kidman takes them away and decks Hogan. It still isn’t enough. After another argument, Kidman hits Horace with the knuckles. So Torrie gives Billy a low blow, and Hogan clocks him with the knuckles for the victory.

Thoughts: It’s pretty bad when this was the best match, so far. I’m not saying it was great, but it was the first one with some substance and crowd heat. Plus, I liked the story they told. This was fine.

Winner: Hollywood Hogan (11:39)

Horace raises his uncle’s hand and they embrace, so Hudson says the Hogans outsmarted Bischoff and Russo. Speaking of Bischoff, they show him talking with someone on the phone. Eric complains about Hogan’s win as a cop enters the room. He assures Bischoff everything is under control. Eric doesn’t believe him.

Next, Pamela interviews David Flair and Russo. She wishes David luck because he’ll need it to retire Ric Flair. This annoys David. He asks who she is and tells her to get out of there. Plus, Russo calls her Rapunzel and says this isn’t a fairy tale. This is a serious matter! Tonight, David will end his father’s legendary career. With that said, Russo tells Pamela to go find the Big Bad Wolf.

Now Gene interviews Ric Flair. He says Russo poisoned the well and turned Ric’s son against him. Flair says they are in Baltimore tonight, and he is the Nature Boy! Ric promises to style, profile, and walk that aisle one more time. Ric also says, “Go, Hulkster, go!” Gene reminds everyone Hogan has a title shot at Bash at the Beach, so Naitch can make it two-for-two tonight. As they finish, we see Flair’s family take their ringside seats.

Ric Flair vs. David Flair (w/ Vince Russo)

Storyline: Russo called himself David’s new father. Then they invaded the Flair household. David showed supposed evidence of how Ric neglected him in favor of Reid and Ashley. Ric had enough. He demanded his championship shot early so he could wrestle David at the PPV instead. He vowed to retire if he didn’t beat David. Ric captured the title, but he collapsed from an apparent aneurysm. Afterward, Russo held a mock funeral. Plus, he handed the title back to Jarrett. So Nash won it from Jarrett and passed it back to Flair. As a result, Jarrett and David took Beth and Reid hostage to get a rematch, and Jarrett regained his gold. Later, they made Ric and Reid tag against Russo and David. Russo pinned Reid after some shenanigans. This led to Ric vs. Russo in a cage. Russo succeeded when they dumped the red liquid on Flair.

The Match: They trade headlocks and hammerlocks until David whips Ric into a Flair Flip. Then David takes Ric outside for some brawling before grabbing a sleeper hold in the ring. This ends when Ric counters into a back suplex and throws chops. To escape the punishment, David distracts the ref. It allows Russo to use the bat and handcuff Ric’s hands. Now David puts his dad in the Figure Four. He uses the ropes and Russo for leverage, but Robinson catches him. Later, Russo attacks again, so Reid jumps over the rail. He gets the keys and frees his dad before Ashley cuffs Russo. This opens the door for Ric’s comeback. He sends David into a Flair Flip and slams him off the top rope! David begs off and tries an eye poke, but it isn’t enough. Ric attacks the leg, locks in a Figure Four, and David submits.

Thoughts: Much like the previous bout, this one also told a decent story and got a good reaction. Plus, I liked the stuff with Reid and Ashley. Who would have imagined we would see a young Charlotte handcuff Vince Russo? This overtook Hogan/Kidman for the match of the night so far.

Winner: Ric Flair (10:16)

Afterward, Flair rips Russo’s shirt, and chops him until David pulls Russo out of the ring. Then Ric invites his family to join him in a celebration. Russo can’t stand it. He calls Ric a piece of shit and says his kids are bitches. When the Flair Family give him crotch chops in response, Russo vows to retire Ric on Nitro.

Now it’s time for Sting vs. Vampiro in a Human Torch Match. During the entrances, Tony says we still haven’t seen Bischoff’s surprise. Plus, Goldberg is outside. Meanwhile, Vampiro lights a torch and carries a gas can to the ring. Once he arrives, Sting’s music plays, but Sting is on top of the set! He pulls the torch up there and dares Vampiro to climb. Vampiro refuses. He yells at Madden for not telling him about this, but Mark says he didn’t know. Since Vamp won’t oblige, Sting comes down to meet him.

Human Torch Match: Vampiro vs. Sting

Storyline: Vampiro continued messing with Sting. He threatened to bite the head off of Sting’s crow. But things took a darker turn after Sting beat Vampiro in the House of Pain. Vampiro lit Sting’s car on fire. He said he wanted Sting to become the monster he should be. So he challenged Sting to a Human Torch Match. Then Vampiro burned the interview set while Tenay interviewed Sting. Later, Sting stopped Vampiro from setting Terry Funk and Midajah on fire. Meanwhile, Sting also got a match with Jarrett and won. However, Bischoff revealed it was non-title. So Sting attacked Jarrett and threw him off the ramp. Finally, Vampiro ambushed Sting while he wrestled Miller. The Cat helped Vampiro give Sting the Scorpion Death Drop. Afterward, Vamp tried to slam Sting on a flaming announce table. Sting extinguished the flames, but Vampiro still put him through the table.

The Match: Vamp attacks when Sting arrives and gives him a wheel kick, but Sting fires back. He hits a powerslam, facebuster, and hotshot. Sting also tries Stinger Splashes, which Vampiro blocks. Then Vampiro douses Sting in gasoline. This leads to brawling around the set. Vampiro climbs to grab the torch, so Sting grabs his leg. Now they fight on the structure, but Vampiro knocks Sting down to the stage. The opening allows Vampiro to reach the top. Sting joins him and they scuffle while lightning effects fill the arena. The battle moves in and out of view until Vampiro scores a DDT. With Sting down, the lights go out, and Vampiro sets Sting on fire. He stumbles and falls off the set.

Thoughts: This was terrible. The fans didn’t see most of the action, so it got no reaction until the end. Worse yet, they had an obvious stunt double take the flames and the fall. Since many of the fans could see the switch, it didn’t receive the response they wanted. This failed on every level.

Winner: Vampiro (7:23)

The commentators react in horror to what they witnessed. Vampiro has a wild-eyed stare and a grin, so Hudson demands they stop showing him. Scott also asks them to stop playing Vampiro’s music. Even Madden says he never thought this would happen. While they react, the paramedics spray the stunt double with fire extinguishers. They overdo it to hide the fact it’s a stunt double. Meanwhile, the announcers try to look worried, but they seem more embarrassed than anything.

Elsewhere, Pamela tries to interview Bischoff. She says it’s time to reveal his big surprise, but Bischoff disagrees. He says this isn’t the time. Goldberg is running around outside! Eric says screw this. The big surprise is there isn’t a surprise! When Tony hears this, it annoys him.

Now we get the introductions for the main event. Buffer says two of the biggest names in sports entertainment will face each other for the WCW championship. Then Michael calls Nash a four-time champ, but Hudson says this is Nash’s chance to win a fourth. Which is it? Also, Jarrett wears a new version of the WCW title to the ring. I know this is an unpopular decision, but I like the change. The beat up and bent original Big Gold Belt looked unprofessional. It screamed, “We have all this Ted Turner money, and we can’t even fix our belt!” I, for one, won’t miss the annoying bend in the top.

Once everyone arrives, the Cat interrupts the proceedings. He announces a ruling from Bischoff. The Filthy Animals will take over the duties of the bell-ringer, timekeeper, belt-keeper, and ring announcer. And Miller names himself as the special enforcer.

WCW Title Match: Jeff Jarrett (c) vs. Kevin Nash

Storyline: Nash went after Russo, so Russo put Nash in handicap fights and an Ambulance Match. However, Nash enlisted Scott Steiner’s help. Plus, Kevin also hid in the casket during the mock funeral for Flair. He jumped Russo, took the belt away from Jarrett, and returned it to Flair. So the New Blood tried to dump the red liquid on Kevin, but their aim was a little off. Later, Nash and Scott Steiner targeted Russo again. This time, they wore goggles to neutralize R&B Security’s mace. Afterward, Nash and Steiner competed in a tag bout where the winner of the fall got a WCW Title shot. Nash won, so Bischoff made Nash run the New Blood Gauntlet. Goldberg helped Nash, and Eric suspended Goldberg for 90 days without pay. Finally, Jarrett claimed Sting’s attack injured him too badly to defend the championship, but Nash saw through the ruse.

The Match: Nash brings Jarrett to the corner for his usual offense and tosses Jarrett across the ring. He also nails the hip attack on the ropes and sends Jarrett outside. There, Kevin performs snake eyes on the announce table. This leads to some crowd brawling, but Jeff seizes control back in the ring. He targets Nash’s leg. A half crab and Figure Four aren’t enough, so the Animals pounce on Nash. They wipe out the ref and swarm Kevin. However, he fends them off and prevents Jarrett’s guitar shot before nailing a chokeslam. Now the Cat takes over as ref, but he feigns an eye injury to avoid a three. So Nash gives both Miller and Jarrett Jackknives. This time, Robinson assumes the referee’s duties, but Tank and Rick Steiner interfere!

Things look bleak until Goldberg pulls into the arena in his monster truck. Everyone scurries as Bill enters the ring. Nash and Jarrett stand, and Goldberg looks for a spear, but he turns and spears Nash! Bill tells Jarrett to cover him, and Jarrett wins.

Thoughts: I liked this until the ending. Yeah, they overbooked this, but that’s fine. At this point in Nash’s career, you need some bells and whistles. My problem was the swerve. Goldberg’s absence made the fans’ hearts grow fonder. They chanted for his return and reacted well to it. So turning Goldberg heel was a mistake. They killed what could have been their top babyface.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett (17:22)

Russo and Bischoff arrive with serious expressions on their faces. Tony asks if this was Bischoff’s surprise. He wants an explanation. While he says this, Goldberg yells at Nash. Then Bill turns to Russo and Bischoff, and they hug! The three men celebrate, much to the dismay of Tony and the fans. The crowd litters the ring with trash as the show ends.

The Good:

• Ric Flair vs. David Flair

• Hogan vs. Kidman

The Bad:

• Goldberg’s heel turn

• Sting vs. Vampiro

• The confusing tables match

Observations:

• The treatment of Pamela Paulshock on TV and the PPV was awful. They treated her like a verbal punching bag. The only wrestler who showed her any respect was Ric Flair, which is ironic.

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving this to Ric Flair. You could tell he wanted to make his son look good, and this was certainly David’s best match. Plus, this was the first time in months Flair seemed motivated.

Final Thoughts:

They should have called this event Nonsensical Swerves: The PPV. Russo set a record for the most in one show. Also, as I said earlier, this was all hype and no substance. They filled it with gimmicks and did almost nothing with them. Even the two matches I liked weren’t outstanding. This wasn’t the worst show of the year, but it was one of the most disappointing. (On a side note, here’s the explanation of Bischoff’s big surprise. They thought a company called SFX was going to buy WCW, but it fell through at the last second. So they did the Goldberg heel turn as the surprise instead.)

Thank you for reading. My next review is the WWF’s King of the Ring 2000. Look for it next Sunday.