Starrcade ’97

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Starrcade

December 28, 1997

MCI Center

Washington D.C.

News & Notes: Eric Bischoff wants control of Nitro. He felt the WCW officials cheated the nWo out of their promised show. They earned it by winning War Games in ’96. Control of Nitro is on the line in Eric’s match with Zbyszko. I’ll discuss that in the match notes. But I want to talk about the go-home episode of WCW’s Monday night show. In the second hour, the nWo stormed the announce table. They kicked the commentators out and dismantled the set. Then nWo members spent the next half hour intimidating the WCW crew. They made them change the signs to nWo ones. (It took forever. Many people tuned out. RAW almost won the ratings because of it.) This was a full takeover. It demonstrated Bischoff’s vision for the future of Nitro. Eric spent the episode showering Hogan with gifts. He gave him motorcycles, a limo with a Jacuzzi, and even a ring. (Geez, propose to the guy already!) There was one more gift, but I’ll mention it in the match notes for the main event. Meanwhile, the nWo terrorized the commentators. They made Tenay return to call a match. However, Heenan volunteered his services. He kissed up to the group and offered to join them. Bobby was bandwagon-jumping out of fear. (Heenan isn’t on commentary for this PPV because of this.) The point of the takeover was to test the waters for separate shows. Thunder debuts in January. Bischoff’s plan was to have one show be a nWo program. But this disastrous attempt nixed that plan.

Next, I need to discuss a match that doesn’t happen on this program. WCW booked The Giant vs. Kevin Nash. But Nash had a heart attack scare the day before the event. His father died of heart failure. Nash experienced chest pains, and it spooked him. Since the match doesn’t happen, I’ll explain the build here. (I’m doing it for the sake of completion.) The night after World War 3, Hogan challenged anyone to face him. The Giant answered the call. But Dillon said the doctors didn’t clear The Giant. However, Hogan was willing if The Giant signed a waiver. The match was a trap. Nash dressed as Sting once more and attacked The Giant’s broken hand with a bat. Since Nash thought The Giant was out of commission, he mocked him. Nash called himself the true giant of WCW. He even called The Giant one-dimensional. (That’s rich, coming from him.) Scott Hall also taunted The Giant in his matches. He mimicked The Giant’s mannerisms before doing his own version of the chokeslam.

We open on a dark and stormy night. Sting broods in an abandoned building. Images of Hollywood Hogan run through his mind. He picks up a bat and walks through the rubble. Then messages appear on the screen. It says Sting witnessed the ruin of an empire. Now, he seeks the ruin of one man. This leads to a closeup of Sting’s face. The camera zooms into his eye and we see the Starrcade logo.

Tony Schiavone welcomes everyone to the biggest night in wrestling’s history! (Isn’t that every night according to Tony?) Tonight, we get a match eighteen months in the making! There are no empty seats. Scalpers were out all day! (What were they selling if there are no seats to be found, Tony?) Dusty Rhodes and Mike Tenay join Schiavone for commentary. Heenan isn’t there. The last we saw him, he was kissing up to the nWo. After introducing his broadcast partners, Tony discusses controversy. Who will referee the main event? They’ll find out later. JJ Dillon put all the ref’s names into a hat and he will choose one at random. Then Dusty talks about destiny! With or without controversy, destiny brought everyone there tonight! There’s a fight about to break out at Starrcade. Next, Tony points out WCW wrestlers in the crowd. It seems anyone who isn’t on the card paid for tickets to watch. (Does WCW not offer comp tickets?) Also, Tony tells us Kevin Nash isn’t there. The nWo put out a press release saying he wouldn’t appear for his match with The Giant. (This announcement distracts the commentators for many of the matches tonight.)

Cruiserweight Title Match: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Dean Malenko

Notes: I mentioned their double-KO encounter in my previous review. But more has happened since then. After World War 3, Eddie began doing commentary during cruiserweight matches. It was a good way to show off more of his personality. He donned the headset for Dean’s match and mocked Malenko. Then Guerrero took it a step farther. Eddie interfered in Malenko vs. Finlay. He distracted and hit Dean, which caused him to lose to Fit. The following week, Eddie tried to one-up Dean by defeating Fit Finlay. But Guerrero retreated when he found himself in trouble. If it sounds like the build is light, there’s a reason. WCW wasn’t 100% sure this bout would happen. Malenko’s wife was due to give birth. She went into labor days before the event and they gave Malenko time off. But WCW called him back at the last moment. This show had too many substitutions already.

The Match: Eddie taunts Dean, hides behind the ref, and offers a handshake when Malenko attacks. Dean has none of it. Malenko peppers Eddie with punches. He then counters Guerrero’s hurricanrana into a powerbomb. Then Dean deadlifts Eddie into an Alabama Slam. Guerrero dares Dean to do more, but then he regroups. Next, Eddie tries eye-rakes, strikes, and dropkicks. But Malenko takes him to the mat with different holds. This leads to Guerrero offering another handshake. He even kisses Dean’s feet! Malenko still isn’t having it. Malenko blocks a tornado DDT and presses Eddie into the corner. However, Guerrero hangs Dean over the ropes. Then Eddie targets Malenko’s knee. He rams it into the post and sandwiches it between the steps! Eddie follows with a legbar and a powerbomb. But Dean counters some of Eddie’s moves. Malenko lands a wheelbarrow suplex and a backbreaker. He also catches Guerrero on the top rope, but they awkwardly fall off. Dean attempts a Cloverleaf, but Eddie blocks it. Guerrero then attacks Dean at the ring apron. This opens the door for a missile dropkick to the leg! Guerrero follows with a Frog Splash onto the knee for the win.

Thoughts: This had a slower pace than I expected. But it was solid. It had one shaky moment. But everything else was crisp. Plus, I liked that finish. You don’t see many people do a missile dropkick to the leg. Eddie has great aim. Also, Guerrero was entertaining. His personality grows with each performance.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero (14:57)

Scott Hall arrives next. He wears his fake tag title belt. Hall surveys the crowd. Are they here to see WCW or the nWo? Many fans cheer for WCW. But some of them participate in the nWo chant. Hall calls it a win for the good guys. Then Scott speaks about the main event. It interests Hall because he faces the winner at SuperBrawl. However, Hall has some bad news. The genetic marvel, Kevin Nash, isn’t there tonight. (Those are Hall’s words, not mine.) If the fans have a problem, they can meet him down there. A fan asks down where, so Scott says you know where. (The fan doesn’t realize Hall means his crotch. He asks where again.) Next, Scott asks for a referee. He can declare The Giant a winner by forfeit. The Nash match won’t happen. Hall then mocks The Giant and calls him Frankengoof. So The Giant emerges from the back. Hall doesn’t see him because he turned around. But he spots him when The Giant reaches the ring.

The Giant then grabs a mic. He calls himself a forgiving man. And he understands why Nash isn’t there. The Giant says, “If I had to wrestle me, I wouldn’t want to be here either.” Also, he’s a patient man. He’ll be in wrestling a long time. (He’s not wrong.) Nash has to return someday. When he does, he’ll find out who the real giant is. Then The Giant tells Slick (Hall) he has another message for Nash. Hall doesn’t care. He throws his toothpick in The Giant’s face. So The Giant press slams Hall and signals for the chokeslam. But he has another idea. The Giant does The Jackknife instead. He then leaves, so the nWo b-team arrives to help Scott to the back. (Then they turn around and enter for their match. That was odd.)

Penzer tries to introduce Konnan as Norton & Vincent’s partner. But they interrupt him. Traylor & The Steiners arrive next. It appears this will be a handicap match because Konnan isn’t there. However, the nWo music plays again and Randy Savage joins them! He’s Konnan’s replacement. Randy taunts the WCW wrestlers in the crowd. He takes particular exception with Booker T and Rey Mysterio. (Booker had a match with Savage on Nitro. He had a good showing and only lost because of nWo interference. They’re starting a push for Booker.)

Randy Savage, Scott Norton, & Vincent (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. Ray Traylor & The Steiner Brothers (w/ Ted DiBiase)

Notes: Ray Traylor’s issues with the nWo continued. They attacked and spray-painted Ray. Then Traylor received a US title shot against Curt Hennig. Ray had it won until the nWo put a stop to it. He fought, but they overwhelmed him. Savage then gave multiple flying elbows. Next, Traylor faced Konnan. He won with some mysterious help. The lights went out. When they came back on, Konnan was out cold. (I’ll explain later.) Then Ray squashed Vincent. He mocked Vince because the nWo didn’t come to his rescue. Meanwhile, The Steiners saved Ray from another nWo beating on Saturday Night. Rick & Scott told him they had his back. This led to The Steiners wrestling Konnan & Norton. It ended in typical nWo fashion. So Ray came to their aid. Then Rick Steiner fought Norton one-on-one. I’ll give you two guesses of how it turned out. Needless to say, Traylor & Scott Steiner had to jump into the fray. Now, you’re probably wondering why Konnan isn’t in this. Savage replaced him because Konnan’s girlfriend went into premature labor. He headed to Mexico to be with her.

The Match: Scott Steiner demands Savage and gets him. They shove each other around. Then they trade slaps, headlocks, and shoulder blocks. This ends when Norton knees Scott from the apron. It leads to Vincent tagging. He chokes Scott Steiner and distracts the ref. Savage uses the opening to attack from the floor. Next, Norton hits a Samoan Drop and a backbreaker. Savage also lands a flying axehandle. However, Scott fires back with a Tiger Bomb and a press slam. The WCW team then clears the ring in a wild brawl. This makes the nWo regroup, so Scott moves Liz aside and attacks. Then team WCW takes control of Vincent. They use frequent tags and give him spinebusters, suplexes, and slaps. Rick Steiner even rips and gnaws at Vincent’s face! (Is he hungry?) But Traylor misses a splash. This allows Vincent to tag Norton. He attacks Ray with chops, clotheslines, punches, and chokes. But Vincent tags again and gets in trouble. Rick Steiner cleans house with forearms and Steinerlines. Then The Steiners give Vincent a Doomsday DDT! Norton breaks up the pin. So Scott Steiner follows with a Super Frankensteiner. This time, Savage stops the pin. Scott has enough of this. He tries to do a Super Frankensteiner to Savage. But Norton grabs Scott Steiner and gives him an electric chair drop. It allows Savage to nail the flying elbow for the victory.

Thoughts: Adding Savage helped. I can’t imagine what the original plan would look like. The best parts were Savage and The Steiners. Everything else was basic. Vincent was terrible. And Ray Traylor seems lost without a gimmick. Also, the outcome would have been different without Savage. When they added Randy, he pushed them to change the finish. I don’t blame him. When you consider the weak build, Savage shouldn’t lose a match like this. However, the change pissed off Scott Steiner. But WCW appeases him soon.

Winners: Savage, Norton, & Vincent (11:06)

Mean Gene is in the aisle. He plugs the hotline. Gene saw a lot of rank and file from WCW in the back. This included some new faces you might find interesting! Call the hotline for more! Then Gene introduces JJ Dillon. He also saw all the faces backstage. JJ calls it a sign of unity. Next, Dillon addresses the referee situation for the main event. Everyone involved wants their way. The only fair thing to do was to put everyone’s name in a hat and draw one. And the name he chose was—Nick Patrick! Gene says this will raise some eyebrows. But Dillon vouches for him. JJ found no fault with him since his reinstatement. Gene calls Dillon’s actions the politically correct choice in this political environment.

Bill Goldberg vs. Steve Mongo McMichael

Notes: Goldberg took two weeks off to heal his real injuries. Plus, he was selling the pipe attack from World War 3. In the meantime, Mongo bragged about knocking Bill out. McMichael also got a victory over The Barbarian with the Mongo Spike. The following week, they booked Mongo against Meng. But Goldberg got his revenge. He attacked Steve backstage. Because of this, Dillon told Goldberg to face Meng instead. But Mongo brawled with Bill before the bout could happen. However, we got Mongo vs. Meng on the next Nitro. McMichael won after using a wooden chair and nailing the Mongo Spike. In other news, Debra tried to reconcile with Steve. Alex Wright dumped her after she cost him a win. But Mongo told her to get lost.

The Match: Mongo stalls, so Goldberg meets him in the aisle. They trade strikes until Bill rams Steve into the rail. He then lifts Mongo onto his shoulder and carries him to the ring. Goldberg even grabs a table and leans it against the post. But Mongo attacks Bill when he enters. This doesn’t last long. Goldberg sends Steve outside again after a shoulder tackle. He then tries to ram McMichael into the table, but Mongo blocks it. Next, they head back inside where Goldberg hits a body scissor takedown. He transitions into a legbar. When that doesn’t work, Goldberg uses a shoulder block and a weak spear. Then Bill moves the table to the side of the ring. However, the ref stops Bill from slamming Mongo onto it. Bill dropkicks Mongo to the floor instead. So McMichael regroups and circles the ring. Steve then does the smartest thing he can. He climbs the apron beside the table. Goldberg meets him at the ropes and punches Steve. It sends Mongo into a light bump through the table! Goldberg collects Mongo’s body and rolls him into the ring. But Steve attacks when Bill enters. (Way to sell the table bump, Mongo!) This allows McMichael to try for a Mongo Spike. But his back gives out! So Goldberg finishes Mongo with a Jackhammer.

Thoughts: What a mess. These guys looked lost at times. Many of the spots were sloppy. But I felt bad for Goldberg. Putting him in a feud with Mongo was a mistake. Bill needs people who can lead him in these early days. We know his future is bright. But this could have derailed it. The fans didn’t care. There was a small this match sucks chant. Then the crowd paid attention to something else. Goldberg and Mongo lost them.

Winner: Goldberg (5:59)

Then Raven arrives without music. The commentators wonder where The Flock is. Penzer introduces Raven and hands him the mic. Raven sits in the corner and speaks. When he signed his contract, he promised not to conform. He wrestles when and where he wants. Raven chose not to wrestle tonight. Perry Saturn will finish the destruction of Chris Benoit instead. Quote the Raven, nevermore!

Saturn and Benoit enter for the match. But Chris grabs a mic to respond to Raven. He tells him to quote the crippler no more! (It’s nevermore, Chris.) Then Chris says he doesn’t view reality or the truth through—through any veil. He rests in reason and moves with passion. And there’s one thing he’s passionate—ABOUT! That’s infict—inflicting pain upon The Raven. (As you can tell by how I wrote this, it’s bad. He tried.) Raven then distracts Benoit, so Saturn attacks.

Raven’s Rules Match: Perry Saturn (w/ Raven) vs. Chris Benoit

Notes: Raven finally signed his contract. However, he promised to sit where he wants, wrestle when he wants, and get paid what he wants. As Raven said this, Scotty Riggs wandered over and sat down with The Flock. He’s now an official member. Meanwhile, Benoit sought revenge for what The Flock did to him before WW3. He wanted Raven, but he got the rest of The Flock instead. Chris defeated each member one-by-one. But when Benoit went after Raven, Saturn put him in the Rings of Saturn. This happened a few times. Then Raven disappeared. (He was dealing with an inflamed pancreas. That’s why he isn’t wrestling on this show. It helps they have a character reason for him to refuse to fight.) Once Raven stopped appearing, The Flock seemed lost. Saturn even lost his TV title back to Disco Inferno! Benoit was furious at Raven’s absence. He promised to make Raven’s traumatic childhood look like child’s play.

The Match: Benoit attacks with vicious strikes. Saturn answers with a sleeper hold, a capture suplex, and his own strikes. Then Benoit fires back with a leg whip and a dropkick to the knee. But The Flock interferes. After Benoit and Saturn tumble to the floor, Kidman does a Shooting Star Press off the apron. Raven then stands over a prone Benoit and stares at him. Next, they head back inside. Saturn nails a springboard leg drop, a neckbreaker, and a double jump moonsault. Benoit uses desperation roll-ups and a sunset flip. But Saturn controls the match with chinlocks and a Michinoku Driver. However, Benoit shoves Saturn off the top rope. He then misses a baseball slide. But Benoit takes Saturn to the ground with a Crossface! The Flock attacks to break it. Then they hold Benoit for Saturn’s Asai Moonsault. Benoit moves and Perry wipes out his stablemates. When they return to the ring, Chris nails a snap suplex and a flying headbutt. So The Flock jumps him again. It appears Benoit will fend them off until Raven enters the ring. The distraction allows Hammer to hit Chris from behind. It knocks Benoit into an Even Flow DDT. Saturn follows with The Rings of Saturn for a submission.

Thoughts: This had some good spots. And I liked the storytelling they did. But it was dull. Is Saturn dealing with injuries? Or is he trying to adapt to the WCW style? He feels a step off. I wanted to like this. But it was decent at best and a little slow.

Winner: Perry Saturn (10:50)

Buff Bagwell vs. Lex Luger

Notes: These two faced each other on TV already. But each encounter ended in an inconclusive finish. There were count-outs and disqualifications. Lex got Buff in The Rack, but it was after the bell already rang. Because Luger couldn’t get a clean victory, Buff claimed Lex couldn’t beat him. And Bagwell said Luger didn’t impress him. Bagwell stole Luger’s interview time to tell Mean Gene this. So Luger challenged him to another fight. But they disqualified Lex for throwing Buff over the ropes. (That’s still a thing!?) Meanwhile, Buff got two victories over poor Chris Jericho. (I can see why Chris is turning heel soon. That would push me toward the dark side too.) Then on the go-home Nitro, Lex fought Savage. Bagwell & Nash jumped Luger. Nash gave him a Jackknife.

The Match: The fight starts with stalling and long lock-ups. Then they spit at each other. Buff takes a bump from Luger’s devastating loogie! Buff regroups after more strikes, throws, and slams. He calls for Vincent to come and aid him. This emboldens Buff. He takes Luger to the floor. But Lex sends Bagwell into the rail. Next, Luger focuses on Bagwell’s back. So Buff answers with eye-pokes, strikes, and chokes. He also distracts the ref so Vincent can interfere. This happens a few times. Meanwhile, Bagwell slows the action with long chinlocks. He cuts off Luger’s comebacks and returns to the rest holds. Luger gets a roll-up while Buff argues with the ref. But it’s not enough. Buff uses a sleeper hold because this was moving too fast! However, Luger rallies after a back suplex. He raises his knees on Buff’s splash and lands a backdrop. Luger follows with Manhattan Drops, clotheslines, and a running forearm. Lex also fends off more Vincent interference. He whips Bagwell and Vincent into each other and stomps Buff in the corner. The ref admonishes Luger, so they argue. This allows Bagwell to shove Lex into the ref. It opens the door for Randy Savage! But Luger press slams Randy and puts him in The Rack. So Norton arrives to help. He punches Luger with Rick Steiner’s dog collar. Norton then places Buff on top of Lex and revives the ref. The groggy ref counts the three-count.

Thoughts: This was a snoozefest. It was almost all rest holds and strikes. Who thought Luger vs. Bagwell should go sixteen minutes? I feel they wanted to elevate Buff with this win. Did they change their minds after this dull encounter? It also doesn’t help they did this match multiple times on TV. The crowd didn’t care. They chanted random things the entire time.

Winner: Buff Bagwell (16:36)

Norton pulls Buff out of the ring while Miss Elizabeth runs to Savage’s aid. Liz and Vincent lift Savage to his feet and help him to the back. They show replays and Tony says it’s the nWo 2 and WCW 0. But Dusty says you can tear that scorecard up when Sting beats Hogan.

U.S. Title Match: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig (c)

Notes: The original plan was Ric Flair vs. Hennig in a cage. They announced it on TV and Flair called Curt out for a fight. But Ric appeared to injure his knee in the melee. DDP came to his rescue, so he was the natural replacement. Page asked for this match as a Christmas present. He got his wish. Page had a US title shot on a previous Nitro. But it ended with Savage attacking Page. This opened the door for Hogan to give DDP two Diamond Cutters. One was onto the WCW title belt. Then Dallas fought Scott Hall. But it ended in the usual nWo way. Hennig was among the men who attacked Page. Next, DDP jumped Hennig on Saturday Night. Page stole the US title belt. But Dillon made him give it back. (Why did he do that? They let the nWo steal belts all the time! Also, Piper held onto Hogan’s belt for two weeks.)

The Match: DDP catches Hennig with roll-ups, arm wringers, and shoulder blocks. They make Curt regroup. Then they trade mat holds before DDP takes Hennig down with headlock takeovers. After Page sends him to the floor again, Curt hotshots Dallas at the ropes. Hennig then attacks DDP’s perpetually injured ribs. Curt kicks, knees, and jumps on the injury. He also rams Dallas into the steps. Next, Curt takes DDP to the mat with a chinlock and uses the ropes for leverage. But Page breaks it with a jawbreaker and they trade punches. This leads to another fight on the floor. Page nails a slingshot crossbody and throws Curt over the rail. Then they return and Page crotches Curt on the post. (Tony calls it Crunch Time.) However, Hennig blocks a Diamond Cutter by grabbing the ropes. He then attempts the Hennig Plex. But Page keeps countering with roll-ups and takedowns. Since that didn’t work, Curt throws a clothesline. So Page floats over it and hits the Diamond Cutter for the three.

Thoughts: This was another slow match. It was a little better than their last encounter. But that’s not saying much. Their lack of chemistry surprises me. But I’m glad to see DDP win the US title. He needed a big victory.

Winner: Diamond Dallas Page (New Champion) (10:52)

DDP celebrates with his belt. Dusty sounds proud of him. Rhodes claims this is DDP’s first major title. (Page is a former TV champion. Dusty forgot.) Then Page jumps the rail and raises his belt among the fans.

Meanwhile, Eddie Guerrero is with Madden & Katz in the wcwwrestling.com room. Tony speaks over the segment. I have no clue what they said. So I’ll guess Eddie was giving mullet grooming tips. Guerrero looks pleased with his victory earlier.

Next, Bret Hart arrives to referee the following match. (His WCW theme is disappointing.) Dusty asks if Bret is a tweener. (Way to break Kayfabe, Dusty!) Bischoff’s entrance follows this. Penzer calls him Easy E. Scott Hall is with him. Then Zbyszko enters to the Nitro theme. He even gets fireworks. (You can’t play the Nitro music without pyro. It’s the law!) Tony wants Larry to knock Bischoff unconscious. Schiavone plans to slap Eric around once he’s out. (That’s a little sadistic.) Meanwhile, Bret checks both men for weapons.

For Control of Monday Nitro: Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Bischoff (w/ Scott Hall)

Notes: Larry still wanted his fight with Hall. But Bischoff said Hall was too busy and important for a lowly announcer. Then Eric mocked Zbyszko. The nWo dropped printed photos of Bischoff pinning Larry. They rained down from the ceiling upon Zbyszko. So Larry challenged Eric instead. They had a verbal agreement, but Eric backtracked the following week. He wasn’t a wrestler! The only way Bischoff would agree was if control of Nitro was on the line! But Larry didn’t have that authority, so it couldn’t happen. However, Dillon had the authority. He made it official. Bischoff was livid. Eric had a few demands. First, they had to allow head kicks and knockouts! (Don’t they always?) Next, Eric wanted his own ref. Dillon offered a few names, but Bischoff rejected them. Then Dillon offered to pick a nWo member. He chose Bret Hart because Bischoff claimed Hart joined the group. But Bret told Eric he had to win on his own. Bret knew what it was like for a ref to screw him. It seemed Hart wasn’t on Bischoff’s side after all. Or was he? We saw Bret riding in the nWo limo at the end of nWo Nitro. So it’s hard to tell. (On a side note, Larry gets his match with Hall if he wins.)

The Match: Bischoff sticks and moves with kicks and punches. He celebrates a victory every time one grazes Larry. But Eric regroups at the first sign of trouble. Hall tells him to use a Crane Kick. Then Zbyszko throws palm strikes, but Bret admonishes him. This opens the door for Eric to kick Larry in the head. All Bischoff does is anger Larry. Zbyszko uses a sleeper and head scissors. Bret calls both a choke and makes him break the holds. So Larry uses a reverse Figure Four instead. He also jumps on Eric’s leg and Bischoff regroups again. Next, Bret stops Larry from throwing a punch. It opens the door for another head kick. And Bischoff unloads a flurry of attacks in the corner. However, we learn Larry is using a rope-a-dope tactic. He waits until Eric tires himself out. Larry nails a swinging neckbreaker and puts Eric in a tree of woe. But Bret pulls Larry away from him. This allows Hall to load Bischoff’s karate shoe with a metal plate. Eric kicks Zbyszko in the head. (The plate flies out before contact. I hope it didn’t hit a fan.) Bischoff then celebrates as if he won. He thanks Bret and reminds him of the money Hart is making. Eric also wants Bret to raise his hand. But Bret punches him instead! An angry Hall enters the ring and receives the same. Then Bret puts Hall in the Sharpshooter. Meanwhile, Larry chokes Eric with his own karate belt. Bret declares Zbyszko the winner.

Thoughts: This was a mess. Bischoff’s strikes looked poor. The storytelling made no sense. I’m unsure what the finish even was. I guess Larry wins. There was no pin or submission. Was it a DQ? They announced nothing. I felt bad for Bret. This was a terrible way to debut him. (And it’s about to get worse.)

Winner: Larry Zbyszko (by DQ?) (11:12)

Michael Buffer introduces the main event. It’s sanctioned by the Washington D.C. Athletic Commission and WCW! This is also the most anticipated wrestling match in history, according to Buffer. Hogan enters first. (It’s surprising, but Sting should enter second for this bout.) Hollywood is alone. Buffer claims all seven continents recognize Hogan’s face. When Hogan enters the ring, he speaks with Nick Patrick. (What’s that about?) Then Sting gets a laser light show for his entrance. It includes thunder sounds and a creepy child’s voice. This intro speaks about good vs. evil. Sting looks to strike fear into the hearts of the men who created him. He has a voice of silence and a mission of justice. This is Sting! But he walks through the entrance. (Sting should have repelled from the ceiling. I guess they didn’t want to wait for him to remove the harness.) Then Hogan and Sting stare at each other. Nick Patrick gives instructions, but they aren’t listening. They shove each other.

WCW Title Match: Sting vs. Hollywood Hogan (c)

Notes: The nWo once again mocked Sting with a mannequin. It dropped from the ceiling and crashed through the ring mat. Hogan & Nash took turns beating it with a bat. Then Hogan berated the fans for wearing Sting masks. He swore something bad would happen if they didn’t take them off. This led to a confrontation with a little old grandma. (I’m sure you’ve seen the GIF.) Since Hogan hated the masks, Sting messed with Hollywood’s head. The lights would turn out and Sting would attack. When the lights returned, his victims had a Sting mask on their faces. (This explains the attack on Konnan I mentioned earlier.) Next, Sting somehow developed magical abilities. He switched places with another Sting mannequin and attacked the nWo. Sting also teleported from the rafters to the top of the WCW sign. But Sting saved his biggest surprise for the end of nWo Nitro. I mentioned Hogan’s gifts earlier. He received one last box at the end of the episode. It contained a replica of Hogan’s own head! Hollywood freaked out while Sting rode a zip-line to the ring. However, the show faded to black before we saw what happened.

The Match: They shove each other and trade punches. Hogan complains. Then Hollywood calls for a test of strength and kicks Sting. Hogan follows with more strikes, eye rakes, back rakes, and throat chops. But Sting avoids three elbow drops and dropkicks Hogan to the floor. Hogan also tries headlocks and shoulder blocks. Sting sends him outside again. So Hogan regroups and argues with the fans. This leads to more headlocks and Hogan does a suplex. But Sting no-sells it and gives Hogan a crotch chop. However, Hogan takes Sting to the floor and rams him into the timekeeper’s table. Hollywood then hits Sting with his bat. Sting tries to rally with a Stinger Splash, but he crashes on the rail when Hogan moves. This allows Hogan to crotch Sting on the barrier. When they return to the ring, Hogan hits a Manhattan Drop and a big boot. He then poses for a while and lands the leg drop. Nick Patrick counts a normal three count! Wait, what?

Hold on! It’s not over! Bret Hart stops the timekeeper from ringing the bell. Bret says he swore this wouldn’t happen again. Nick Patrick complains, so Bret decks him. Then Bret grabs Hogan and rolls him into the ring. Hart restarted the match! Sting nails two Stinger Splashes while fending off the nWo. He then puts Hogan in the Scorpion Deathlock and Bret calls for the bell.

Thoughts: What a disaster. First, this should have been more exciting after all the build. But they wrestled Hogan’s slow style. Plus, Hogan dominated most of the bout. Then you add on the confusing ending. It made no one look good. The plan was a fast count, but Patrick did a normal one. So it makes Bret Hart look stupid for restarting this. Rumors circulated over the years about what happened. Everyone involved tells a different story. Patrick says he was trapped between two men who couldn’t agree on a finish. He did the normal count as a compromise. Then there’s the rumor Hogan told him to do the slower count. Bischoff claims ignorance. All he knows is things didn’t go according to the plan. However, we do know Hogan wasn’t pleased with Sting. He felt Sting was out of shape and didn’t tan during his time off. But that’s no excuse for this mess. This happens when you let the inmates run the asylum. Bischoff should have taken more control.

Winner: Sting (New Champion) (12:53)

Sting celebrates as WCW wrestlers fill the ring. He jumps onto Luger’s shoulders. Then he climbs into The Giant’s arms and holds the belt over his head. Everyone hugs Sting while Duggan in a tuxedo waves an American flag. Sting even speaks, but it’s in Spanish. This confuses the commentators. He said something about his Mamacita. Meanwhile, Tony tells the nWo to bite him.

The Good:

• Eddie/Dean was great.

• It was nice to see DDP win gold.

The Bad:

• The disastrous main event.

• Mongo/Goldberg was bad.

• Confusing finishes.

• They wasted Bret Hart.

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to Eddie Guerrero. His match was good and his personality is growing. He’s the highlight of many of these shows.

Final Thoughts:

This was WCW’s most successful PPV. Nothing ever tops it. But it wasn’t a good show. They spent eighteen months building a match that ended in disaster. It’s a prime example of how the backstage egos impeded WCW’s success. The nWo storyline should have culminated at this event. But it continues for another year. Poor Sting has another lackluster title reign because of it. He can’t catch a break in this company. Is he cursed? Was this show cursed? Between the substitutions and absences and the backstage politics, it feels that way.

Thank you for reading. My next review is the WWF’s Royal Rumble ’98. Look for it next Sunday!