D-Generation X: In Your House

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

D-Generation X: In Your House

December 7, 1997

Springfield Civic Center

Springfield, Massachusetts

News & Notes: Two weeks after Survivor Series, Shawn Michaels teased a confrontation with Bret Hart. But what we got instead was a mini version of Bret. Shawn mocked the little person and put him in a Sharpshooter. Then DX stuck a WCW sticker on his butt and kicked him out of the ring. This drew out an angry Jim Neidhart. He wanted revenge. So Shawn tried to manipulate him. Michaels said the Harts left Jim behind. He didn’t need them! The Anvil could join DX instead. It appeared Neidhart liked the offer. He helped DX in their match. But Chyna hit The Anvil with a low blow and DX attacked him. So Neidhart faced Triple H the following week. It ended with DX handcuffing Neidhart to the ropes and hitting him with a chair. They spray-painted WCW on his back afterward. (There is more. But I’ll save it for the match notes.)

Meanwhile, Goldust underwent a strange transformation. When asked about his actions at Survivor Series, Goldust claimed he was an invalid. He didn’t tag Vader because his broken arm rendered him useless. Vader confronted Goldust. He wanted a better explanation. Goldust said nothing, so Vader powerbombed him. They were supposed to fight the following week. But Goldust had his arm in a sling. The sling hid a hammer, which Goldust used to knock out Vader. Then Goldust showed up in a wheelchair the next week. He had a masked nurse with him. She rubbed alcohol on Goldust’s shoulders to soothe him. Goldust swore his broken arm spread throughout his body and left him paralyzed. But Vader wasn’t buying it. He demanded Goldust’s answer for hitting him with a hammer. Vader was about to dump Goldust from his wheelchair. So the nurse sprayed rubbing alcohol in Vader’s eyes. She then removed her mask to reveal—Luna Vachon! JR couldn’t believe it. He said, “Goldust left his wife for that!?” The next time we saw Goldust, Luna led him to the ring by a chain. Goldust ditched his old look for something even more bizarre. He now wore brightly colored S&M gear, including a ball gag. Luna announced he was now known as The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust. And he was free of that gold digger, Marlena!

In other news, we have more developments in the Kane storyline. Kane confronted The Undertaker again. But Taker still refused to fight him. Taker said Paul Bearer was poisoning Kane’s mind. He shouldn’t listen to him. The Undertaker saw good in Kane. Since Taker didn’t accept their challenge, the beatings continued. Kane interrupted a minis match and scared them away. So The Headbangers came to the rescue. Thrasher broke a boombox over Kane. But it had no effect. Kane gave The Headbangers chokeslams. Then Kane Tombstoned Crush in Crush’s last WWF appearance. He also got a hold of Gerald Brisco.

Are you ready? Well, I wasn’t. This intro caught me off guard. I didn’t expect a phone sex ad! The normal narrator tells us about Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Shamrock and Triple H vs. Sgt. Slaughter. Meanwhile, a woman with a sultry voice speaks about how sexy Shawn is. DX brags about what they’ll do to their opponents. Triple H even threatens to expose himself to Slaughter’s wife. Next, we see clips of DX beating up Jim Neidhart. The commentators call it disgusting. But Miss Sexy Voice thinks it’s great. She asks the viewers to degenerate her. That sounds painful. Karate Fighters presents D-Generation X: In Your House. It seems odd a toy for children sponsors this event.

JR welcomes everyone to the Springfield Civic Center. They turned away hundreds of fans! Four championships are on the line tonight! Plus, two tough guys will slug it out in a Toughman Contest! We also get the return of Jeff Jarrett vs. The Undertaker! Then JR introduces the Spanish and French announcers. Jean Brassard is overjoyed to see himself on camera. He says, “Hey! That’s me!”

Brian Christopher enters for his match. He laughs at a fan’s sign and licks his own bicep. They show the brackets for the Light Heavyweight tournament. Lawler says Taka Michinoku faced so many dogs, he ought to get a job at a kennel. This leads to Taka’s entrance. Brian grabs a Taka sign and rips it in half. He then wipes himself with it. JR tells Lawler to teach his son better manners. Jerry denies Christopher is his son. But he wishes he was.

Light Heavyweight Title Tournament Finals: Taka Michinoku vs. Brian Christopher

Notes: The division began months ago. But we’re now getting the first Light Heavyweight champion! The WWF began a tournament in November. Taka reached this point be defeating Devon Storm and Aguila (the future Essa Rios under a mask). Meanwhile, Christopher beat Flash Flanagan in the quarterfinals. Then they scheduled him against his future tag partner, Scott Taylor. But Kane attacked Taylor before the bout. They never announced the outcome. So it appears Christopher won by forfeit.

The Match: Brian begins with slams and arm drags. But he wastes time posing and laughing. So Taka answers with flips and lands on his feet on a release German. Then Taka nails a wheel kick, dropkicks, and a clothesline to the floor. He follows with a springboard body press. But Brian meets him at the apron. He crotches Taka on the ropes and knocks him to the floor. Christopher follows with a flying axehandle. But he misses and crashes on the rail. It busts open Brian’s lip. The blood doesn’t stop Brian from avoiding a flying crossbody. However, Christopher doesn’t evade Taka’s tornado DDT, hurricanrana, or Asai Moonsault. (A concerned Lawler checks on Brian and wipes his bloody lip.) Then Taka nails Christopher with dropkicks to the front and back. He also tries a roll-up. But Brian turns it into a Full Nelson Facebuster. Next, Brian lands a sit-out powerbomb. When that doesn’t work, he uses a Rocker Dropper and a backbreaker. Neither gets a three-count. So Brian continues the attack and pauses to laugh and pose. Brian then gives Taka a release German, a leg drop, and a powerslam. Christopher looks for a Tennessee Jam next. But he misses it! Taka capitalizes with the Michinoku Driver and gets the win.

Thoughts: It was a solid opener. This wasn’t as fast-paced as WCW’s cruiserweight matches. But you expect that. The WWF had stiffer rings. So they couldn’t do the break-neck pace of the cruisers. They made up for it with storytelling. Christopher had some great heel work. The fans were into it. This did what it needed to do. So I enjoyed it.

Winner: Taka Michinoku (New Champion) (12:02)

Taka celebrates his win, much to Lawler’s chagrin. Tony Garea, Gerald Brisco, and Pat Patterson congratulate him. They hand Taka the new Light Heavyweight title belt. Japanese photographers then snap a few pics of the new champion. Lawler calls it a black day for the WWF. He can’t look. Jerry tells JR to tell him when it’s over.

Then Los Boricuas arrive for a match. They rap on the way to the ring. But their mics don’t work well. Savio drowns everyone else out. Next, they show clips of a gang brawl from RAW. This leads to the DOA riding their motorcycles to ringside. JR says Crush isn’t there because of Kane. In reality, he left the company. Meanwhile, Tim White tells Savio to leave. He threatens to DQ Los Boricuas if Vega stays.

Jesus Castillo Jr., Jose Estrada Jr., & Miguel Perez Jr. vs. The Disciples of Apocalypse

Notes: There’s almost no build. They wanted another Gang Wars fight. Neither faction did much over the past month. Los Boricuas were cannon fodder for an exhibition of Steve Blackman’s skills. And Savio Vega lost to Ken Shamrock. But Chainz and Miguel participated in a Four-Way Elimination Match. It led to a wild brawl between factions. So there is a minor reason for this encounter. Oh, and Chainz is the new leader of the DOA. Crush left for WCW. The DOA is now a three-man group.

The Match: Chainz and Miguel trade punches until Chainz lands a hip toss and a clothesline. Then Skull & 8-Ball control the action. They use shoulder blocks, a facebuster, a powerslam, and a double clothesline. 8-Ball even nails a—oh, come on! Not again! It’s a side slam. Next, Skull & 8-Ball fend off punches and use a swinging neckbreaker. But Miguel knees Skull in the back and gives him a hotshot. Jose then hands out clotheslines. Miguel lands a standing moonsault and a flying punch. However, Miguel tweaks his knee upon landing. He tags and rolls outside to regroup. Jesus & Jose keep control with strikes until Savio arrives. He wants to take Miguel’s place. But Tim White won’t allow it. The confusion leads to Chainz making a tag. He hits a clothesline and a Death Valley Driver. But Los Boricuas distract the ref. Miguel has a miraculous recovery. He enters the ring and nails Chainz with a somersault leg drop. Then Miguel places Jose on top for the pin.

Thoughts: This was another dull Gang Wars encounter. I get what they went for with Miguel and Savio. They get credit for trying. But no one cared. This had no heat. Everyone is tired of the Gang Wars. There was no reason for this bout to happen. At least everyone gets a payday. But that’s it.

Winners: Los Boricuas (7:58)

Dok Hendrix is backstage with King Hippo. Oh, I meant Butterbean. Mr. Bean’s manager Art Dore and trainer Murray Sutherland flank him. Dok says Butterbean will make PPV history. He competed in a boxing match the previous night. Now, he’s on a WWF PPV against Marc Mero. It should be commended. But is Butterbean 100%? Bean says his adrenaline will push him through it. Last night was a warm-up. But tonight he will teach Mero a lesson. Butterbean doesn’t like the way Marc treats Sable. It upsets him so much, he doesn’t want to talk about it. (Did he forget his lines?)

Meanwhile, Michael Cole interviews Sable. Cole shows her a recap of the Mero/Butterbean feud. They show clips of Mero’s boxing career. We also see Mero mocking and shoving Butterbean. Then Cole mentions Sable was at Butterbean’s fight the night before. Cole asks where her heart lies. Is it with her husband or Butterbean? Sable says her heart is in the right place. She’s with her husband, Marc. But she corrects herself to say, Marvelous Marc. This draws Mero into the room. He berates Sable. Did he give her permission to speak or do this interview? Sable says no. So Mero reminds her not to steal his spotlight. Marc promises to destroy that fat tub of crap, Butterbean!

Next, The Fink introduces a special Toughman Fight. It’s scheduled for four two-minute rounds. If it goes the distance, the referee has the final decision. Sable and Mero’s trainers lead him to the ring. But Mero admonishes her for standing in front of him. Marc also grabs a sign that says, “Sable who?” Then Butterbean arrives. JR implies he’s ugly and not a refined boxer. But he will darn sure fight you! Lawler says JR likes Butterbean because he’s the same shape as him. Mero and Bean then go face-to-face, while the ref explains the rules.

Toughman Match: Butterbean (w/ Art Dore & Murray Sutherland) vs. Marvelous Marc Mero (w/ Sable & Ray Rinaldi)

Notes: Pro boxer Butterbean attended an episode of RAW. So Michael Cole interviewed him. Marc Mero took exception to this. Since Marc used to box, he said he could defeat Butterbean in four rounds! Then he admonished Mr. Bean for eyeing Sable. This didn’t stop Butterbean from appearing the next week and waving at her. This angered Mero even more. So the WWF implied Marc is abusing Sable. She appeared with a black eye. But the story was a horse kicked her. Marc was also quite aggressive while doing some boxing warm-ups. Sable dropped the pad, and Marc called her useless. Mero even referred to her as his property. It made Sable cry. (They thankfully drop the abuse part of the story later.) To make matters worse, Mero accused Butterbean of stalking his wife. Why else would The Bean keep appearing at the shows? The accusations led to a shoving match between Mero and Bean.

The Match: In Round 1, Mero trades light punches. He hides in the ropes when Bean gets aggressive. So Butterbean argues with the ref. Meanwhile, a Sable chant annoys Mero. Then Mero hides in the ropes again. Butterbean sends him to the floor with a punch to the face. When the round ends, Marc gives Bean a cheap shot to the back of his head! The trainers separate them. In Round 2, Mero begins with a running knee. He also chokes Butter with his wrist tape while his trainer distracts the ref. Next, Mero thumbs Bean in the eye and throws wind-up punches. This time, Marc dropkicks Butterbean after the bell. But Marc dives outside to avoid the consequences. In Round 3, Butterbean chases Marc around the ring. He dares Mero to punch him. Then Bean knocks Mero down. But the bell saves Marc. Bean doesn’t want it to be over yet. He revives Mero with his spit bucket! In Round 4, Butterbean knocks Mero down again and dares him to rise. So Marc throws a low blow to get disqualified. He then smashes a stool over Butterbean and runs for his life.

Thoughts: It was dull. The fans chanted boring a few times. Plus, the rules made no sense. The ref allowed a lot. But then he calls for a DQ from a low-blow. The disappointing ending didn’t help matters. This was a worked boxing match filled with weak punches and shenanigans. It builds Mero’s new character. But it wasn’t fun to watch.

Winner: Butterbean (by DQ) (10:20)

Bean chases Mero to the back. Lawler says, “Look out! It’s the running of the bulls!” JR thinks Bean was ahead on points. Lawler says he’d like to see things from Ross’s point of view. But he can’t get his head up his rear end. Next, they show replays and Lawler tries to deny the low-blow.

Then something strange happens. A horrible-sounding horn blares through the arena. It confuses JR & Lawler. Jerry asks, “What did you have for lunch?” But then the sound transitions into a distorted version of Goldust’s theme.

Luna Vachon leads The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust out on a chain. They’re wearing matching pink outfits. (JR & Lawler compare her to Molly Ringwald.) Goldust has a Mardi gras mask on his face. Luna tells everyone to shut the hell up. Goldust wishes to express himself in verse. Then Goldust says he prepared a little ditty. It’s something he wrote in his youth. He’ll share it with everyone if the fans shut up! But Goldust reads Green Eggs & Ham. He does it poorly and in the campiest voice he can muster. (Dr. Seuss also enjoyed cheating on his wife. So it fits Goldust’s current character.) Fans yell at Goldust, so he tells them to shut the hell up. However, Luna grows tired of this. She shoves Goldust on his ass and calls him a scum suck. Luna then drags Goldust through the curtain. (Well, that was—something.)

Next, Cole is with The Legion of Doom. Cole brings up the travesty in Fayetteville. Road Dog & Billy Gunn used a chair. They won the tag belts and ran off like thieves in the night. Animal says everyone saw it. There ain’t no way any athletes in the WWF can beat them fair and square. Dog & Gunn ran like sissies. They got lucky. But they left the LOD’s spikes behind. Animal is glad they got them back. He says those two punks are going down and asks Hawk to tell them about it. Hawk calls their opponents, Mr. Dog & Mr. Ass. (Something tells me that nickname will stick.) He also compares them to a booger deep in his nose. His finger can’t reach it. But he digs until he gets that booger! And he rolls it around and flicks it! So Road Dog & Mr. Ass better prepare to get flicked. Oh, what a booger! (Hawk cut a promo about boogers. I’ve now heard it all.)

The LOD then enters the arena to a good reaction. Road Dog & Billy Gunn are next. They don’t have their team name. But they have the music now. Jesse James has a mic. He welcomes the fans to Jurassic Park. They are the tour guides. But he tells the fans not to feed the scary dinosaurs. They can get hostile. But there is no t-rex on this expedition. The LOD threatens Dog & Gunn. So they run away. They’re not ready. Jesse says they need to stretch first. This happens multiple times. Dog is angry the LOD won’t let them in the ring. They leave again, so the WWF officials make them stop. Hawk & Animal attack.

Tag Team Title Match: Road Dog Jesse James & Bad Ass Billy Gunn (c) vs. The Legion of Doom

Notes: They still aren’t officially The New Age Outlaws. But the name is coming! However, they now have their iconic music. The pieces are coming together. Jesse & Billy continued pissing off the tag team ranks. This included The Blackjacks and Los Boricuas. The WWF booked this tag title encounter for the PPV. But The LOD grew sick of Dog & Gunn. They wanted the match early! This backfired. Jesse & Billy won the titles by using the belt and a chair! The loss pissed off The LOD so much they beat up the WWF’s security team. Then Dog & Gunn mocked Hawk & Animal the following week. They didn’t think The LOD was there. But Hawk & Animal appeared through the crowd in street clothes. Jesse & Billy ran for their lives. So The LOD said Dog & Gunn could never win in a fair fight. Next, Jesse & Billy fought The Headbangers. But the LOD chased them away again.

The Match: Animal whips Dog with the tag belt. Then the LOD controls the action with clotheslines, dropkicks, and a neckbreaker. Dog & Gunn keep regrouping. So Hawk nails a double clothesline off the apron. He even gives Jesse & Billy a double noggin knocker. More strikes cause Dog to bail once more. Hawk rams him into the announce table. Next, Animal catches Jesse in a powerbomb and throws him to the floor. Hawk attacks and Gunn tries to stop it. Billy receives a press slam on the steps for his trouble. This makes Dog & Gunn retreat again, so The LOD fights them in the aisle. But Jesse & Billy take over after smashing a cooler on Hawk’s head. They also use a low blow. Dog capitalizes with knee drops, a dropkick, and—The Worm? (Scott Taylor takes notes backstage.) Then Gunn uses strikes, chokes, a chinlock, and a head vice. Billy follows with a knee drop that makes Hawk curse. Two collisions and double downs follow this. It allows Animal to tag and clean house. He nails a powerslam, shoulder tackles, and corner clotheslines. The LOD then signals for the Doomsday Device. But Henry Godwinn arrives. Dog & Gunn distract the ref while Godwinn uses a slop bucket on Animal. However, Hawk grabs the bucket and nails everybody. It causes a DQ.

Thoughts: This was slow and plodding. Plus, it had a disappointing finish. (That’s a theme of the night.) Also, why is this Godwinns/LOD feud still going? No one cares! I get they’re trying to build Dog & Gunn as annoying little punks. It accomplished that. But much like the previous bout, it wasn’t good.

Winners: Road Dog & Billy Gunn (by DQ) (10:32)

Next, they recap the Sgt. Slaughter/Triple H feud. Slaughter says December 7^th will live in infamy for Hunter. Cole compares Slaughter to leaders like FDR and Churchill. Then the video implies Slaughter might nuke Helmsley. They also put over Slaughter’s Cobra Clutch. We see footage of Sarge using it on various wrestlers.

This leads to a Triple H promo. Cole asks if Hunter knew his disrespect would backfire on him. Triple H calls Michael an idiot for saying that. Then Hunter shows off his survival kit for Slaughter. It contains a comb for Slaughter’s hair, Metamucil, prunes, and some Depends! This is not Slaughter’s generation or the next generation. (The camera pans over to Chyna. So Hunter tells the idiot cameraman to focus on him!) This is d-generation and x marks the spot! (Hunter does a crotch chop.) Next, Hunter says he’ll swing by Slaughter’s house. Triple H will let Sarge’s old lady smoke on his peace pipe! JR calls him disrespectful.

Hunter enters to the D-Generation X theme. Don’t watch this entrance if you have epilepsy. They spliced frantic shots of the titantron video over the live footage.

Meanwhile, Cornette interviews Sgt. Slaughter. He’s had a long and storied career. But now the commissioner’s suit is off. The wrestling boots are on! Is he ready for Hunter Hearst Helmsley? Sarge calls Helmsley a piece of human excretion. He didn’t come here for a wrestling match. Sarge came to beat up a maggot who insulted his family. He may be old. But Sarge isn’t dead. This old jarhead will beat that puke up. And that’s an order! (No, it’s a statement. I see Sarge still hasn’t learned the difference.)

Then Slaughter enters to The Patriot’s theme (Angle’s future music). JR talks about Sarge’s debut in the 70s, while Triple H gives him a crotch chop.

Boot Camp Match: Triple H (w/ Chyna) vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Notes: After announcing HBK vs. Shamrock for the PPV, Slaughter made Hunter fight Ken. Sarge even had a ringside seat for the fight. So Hunter got in his face. After RAW went off the air, they shoved each other. So the following week, Hunter warned Sarge to keep that chin out of his business. If he didn’t, Triple H would show Sarge’s wife what a real man looks like! This led to Slaughter bowing up to Hunter. So DX attacked Sarge with the briefcase and Triple H gave him a Pedigree. Slaughter had enough! He challenged Hunter. But it’s no ordinary fight. This is a Boot Camp Match (Street Fight). Hunter stirred the pot even more. Triple H promised to use many weapons during their encounter. But he’s saving the bazooka for Slaughter’s wife! This comment led to Slaughter attacking Hunter after his confrontation with Neidhart. Sarge put him in the Cobra Clutch as RAW ended.

The Match: Sarge whips Hunter with his riding crop and nails him with strikes. He also uses a gutbuster and throws Helmsley to the floor. After ramming Hunter into the steps and the rail, Sarge makes a cover. The ref reminds him it isn’t Falls Count Anywhere. So Slaughter takes him into the ring and whips Hunter with his belt. But Triple H blocks a Cobra Clutch and whips Sarge clear out of the ring! Next, Hunter returns the favor with the steps and the rail. Triple H then goes for the ring bell. Mark Yeaton fights him, so Hunter clocks Mark with it! Hunter uses the bell on Slaughter. He also whips Sarge with the belt and chokes him. Then Chyna hands Triple H a chain and he nails a loaded punch.

Slaughter gets the chain, but Hunter backdrops him over the ropes. He then rolls Sarge inside. But Hunter eats a boot on a jumping nothing. Sarge tries to follow with a slam, but he collapses. Slaughter also climbs the ropes and gets slammed. So Hunter capitalizes with a sleeper hold. Sarge elbows out and counters with a Cobra Clutch! This draws Chyna into the ring. She rakes Sarge’s eyes and shoves the ref. Chyna even grabs a chair, so Slaughter throws powder in her face. (Remember that in a few months.) Then Hunter removes his boot and hits Sarge with it. But he misses a second shot. Slaughter uses the opening for a second Cobra Clutch. Chyna breaks it by kicking Slaughter in the balls. Hunter then lands a Pedigree on the chair for the win.

Thoughts: This was another dull bout. It had a couple of good spots. Slaughter surprised me with some of his bumps. But the pace was slow. It should have been a shorter match. Sarge shouldn’t go almost eighteen minutes in 1997.

Winner: Triple H (17:39)

Jeff Jarrett is backstage with Michael Cole. Jeff has an even more ridiculous outfit than his old one. Cole says it’s time for Jarrett’s in-ring debut. (He meant his return.) Michael asks if Jarrett is nervous to go up against The Undertaker. Jarrett calls Cole, Mark. Then he says he’ll start at the top. Jarrett will put The Undertaker on his long list of defeated opponents. This will make him the #1 Contender. It’s only a matter of time until he’s the WWF champion. Jarrett says, “Take a look at this!” (What am I looking at? That horrible outfit?)

Jarrett then enters the arena to a new theme. It includes soundbites of Jarrett praising himself. He struts in the ring before The Undertaker arrives. Everyone jumps when Taker raises the lights with a bang.

Jeff Jarrett vs. The Undertaker

Notes: Jarrett returned to the WWF before Survivor Series. He buried WCW for misusing him. Jarrett even trashed his old country singer gimmick. Then he buried his own push by legitimately pissing off the wrong person. Jarrett cut a promo calling Austin 3:16 blasphemous. No one told Steve he would say this. Austin confronted him backstage and yelled at Jarrett. It didn’t help Austin didn’t like him from their Memphis days. Steve refused to work with Jarrett in the future. Meanwhile, Jeff did interviews with JR. He displayed a new prima donna personality. Jeff fancied himself a big star in the WWF. He refused to wrestle matches if the WWF didn’t meet his contract demands. Slaughter had none of this nonsense. Sarge told Jeff he had a match at the PPV. Jarrett will go one-on-one with The Undertaker! (Hey! Sarge is stealing Teddy Long’s future gimmick!) If Jarrett refuses to wrestle, Sarge will suspend him.

The Match: Jarrett sticks and moves until Taker throws him into the corner. The Undertaker nails rapid punches, clotheslines, and shoulder blocks. Then Taker does Old School and chokes Jeff in the corner. But Jarrett nails a back elbow. He also evades Taker’s attacks and goes after Taker’s knee. Jeff rams it into the apron and jumps on the leg. However, he misses one of the jumps. Taker answers with punches, a backbreaker, a leg drop, and a big boot. But Kane interrupts. The lights go out and his music plays. When Kane arrives, Jarrett tells him to get Taker! So Kane turns and chokeslams Jarrett to cause a DQ.

Thoughts: This was a backdrop for the Kane/Undertaker stuff. They were filling time until the finish. It was basic and uninteresting. Plus, there was no feud involved. You could almost tell the crowd was waiting for Kane to arrive. They knew what this was.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett (by DQ) (6:54)

Kane gets in The Undertaker’s face and slaps him. Taker shakes it off, but he doesn’t retaliate. So Kane sets off his pyro and leaves. Taker stares in disbelief as they walk away. While Taker is distracted, Jarrett gives Taker a chop block. He attempts a Figure Four. But Taker grabs him by the throat and hits a chokeslam. Taker walks away with a look of sorrow on his face. JR says Taker is heartbroken by his brother. Ross says Taker showed restraint. Lawler thinks it was fear. Meanwhile, Jarrett demands the ref raise his hand. He struts while his music plays. (Way to sell the chokeslam, Jeff.)

Next, Michael Cole is in the Milton Bradley box with Mark Henry. He’s hanging with the bigwigs from the toy company. Mark stumbles over his words. So Cole helps him finish his sentence. Then Michael asks when Mark will return. He says he’ll be back in a week or so. Cole also asks Mark for a prediction on the Rock/Austin match. Henry picks Stone Cold. That’s his man! This leads to JR & Lawler discussing the next bout. JR calls him Rocky Maivia. So Lawler corrects him. It’s The Rock now!

Then they recap the Rock/Austin feud. Rocky came into the WWF. But success went to his head. He became enamored with his accomplishments. They play clips of Rocky praising himself in the 3^rd person. But his opponent Stone Cold is different. He isn’t a member of a nation or a brotherhood and he has no creed. Austin hands out Stunners and ass whippings. We see everyone except Rocky get a Stunner. Rocky promises to wear his Intercontinental title come hell or high water. Next, they show Rocky getting a shocking message on his beeper. Austin attacked, but Rocky ran. So Austin drove a pickup truck into the arena and taunted Rocky.

Dok interviews The Rock. He calls him Rocky Maivia. And Dok calls Stone Cold the most dangerous man in the WWF. (Somewhere, Ken Shamrock goes into a rage.) Rocky has enough of Hendrix’s stupid statements. He reminds Dok it’s The Rock now. Also, The Rock is the most dangerous Intercontinental champ. He’s the people’s champion and the best damn IC champion there ever was!

The fans shower Rock with Rocky sucks chants. Rocky takes a mic and says it’s time to defend his Intercontinental title. Then Austin’s music starts. He drives his pickup into the arena and parks it at ringside. Stone Cold exits his truck and enters the ring by climbing over the roof. He doesn’t remove his vest. Austin attacks The Rock instead.

Intercontinental Title Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin (c) vs. The Rock (w/ The Nation of Domination)

Notes: After Survivor Series, Rocky challenged Austin for the IC championship. He promised to make Steve a has-been, courtesy of The Rock. (This is the debut of the nickname. Something tells me it will stick.) Austin challenged him back. He challenged Rocky to get a better haircut and flush himself down the toilet. He sucks because Stone Cold said so! So Maivia fed poor D’Lo to Austin as a distraction. It allowed Rocky to steal the IC title belt. Rocky then called himself the best damn Intercontinental champion. He wrestled in what he called non-title bouts. But Austin distracted Rocky by messing with the production truck. He warned Maivia. If Rocky ever saw 3:16 on his pager, his ass belonged to Stone Cold! Sure enough, it happened and Rocky’s eyes went wide. Austin was behind him! But The Rock escaped with the belt. Next, Austin drove a pickup truck to ringside while Rocky wrestled. Steve blared AC/DC and drank some beers. However, Steve was unable to reclaim his stolen gold.

The Match: Austin stomps a mudhole until The Nation jumps him. D’Lo charges at Steve. So Stone Cold backdrops Brown onto the truck. It shatters the windshield. He then gives D’Lo a Stunner on the roof! Austin returns to fight Rocky and nails a shoulder block and a Thesz Press. Then they trade pin attempts before Maivia sends Austin to the floor. This allows Faarooq & Kama to attack. But Kama nails Faarooq with a chair by mistake. And Austin whips Kama into the truck. However, The Rock attacks when Austin returns to the ring. Rocky uses strikes and a low blow. He also slams Austin and does The People’s Elbow. (It isn’t officially named yet.) It doesn’t work. So Rock does another slam and misses a second People’s Elbow. (This time, he removed his elbow pad to make it more devastating!) Austin has control, so Kama distracts him. Steve knocks him down while the ref walks behind him. Austin thinks it’s The Rock and gives the ref a Stunner! Rocky uses the opening to fetch some brass knuckles. He tries to punch Stone Cold. But Austin ducks and hits a Stunner. Another ref arrives to make the count.

Thoughts: They had to keep it short because of Austin’s neck. But they filled it with enough bells and whistles to be fun. I enjoyed this. It was explosive and chaotic. We all know these two have many more matches. So I’m fine with a brief encounter here.

Winner: Steve Austin (5:28)

Then they recap the HBK/Shamrock feud. Dramatic music plays over clips of Shamrock putting people in the anklelock. We also see footage of Shamrock snapping and going crazy. Next, we see Shawn Michaels claiming he’s immune to Ken’s ankle hold. Triple H twists Shawn’s ankle 360 degrees! Shawn says he’s in the zone! Michaels jokes DX always has a leg up on the competition. They follow this with DX’s attack on Jim Neidhart. Slaughter and Shamrock came to his aid. Ken then hit a belly-to-belly and put Shawn in another anklelock.

After the video, Cornette interviews Ken Shamrock. Jim says Ken is no stranger to fighting on PPV. But Shawn has the experience in wrestling. How will Ken counteract this? Shamrock agrees with Jim. He has experience in fighting and Shawn is a great wrestler. But Ken is in his zone. Shawn will squeal like a baby!

Then JR interviews Shawn from the announce table. He accuses Michaels of being disrespectful. Shawn says, “What do you mean I don’t respect anything, you fat tub of goo!?” Shawn also makes a fart joke about Triple H. But as far as Shamrock, he’ll show him why he’s the #1 man in the WWF. Shawn knows it made JR miserable to call him that. Michaels will show everyone why he’s #1 in a minute. Shawn then calls JR Girth Brooks and a fat tub of goo before heading to the ring.

WWF Title Match: Ken Shamrock vs. Shawn Michaels (c) (w/ Chyna & Triple H)

Notes: Shamrock didn’t get an official win over Michaels before Survivor Series. But everyone except the ref saw Shawn tap. Ken interrupted Michaels’ victory speech and traded insults with him. Then Slaughter announced Shamrock as the #1 Contender! This led to a warm-up match between Shamrock and Hunter. Triple H tapped, but the ref missed it again! So Shawn hit Ken with the briefcase. However, after RAW ended, Slaughter shoved Shawn into a roll-up. Sarge then counted a mock three-count. (Hey! Are they copying the Zbyszko/Bischoff feud?) The next week, Shawn arrived in a wheelchair. He wasn’t hurt. Shawn said Chyna helped him work out his legs all week. He wanted to be immune to Ken’s anklelock. Shawn proved this by having Triple H twist his ankle a full 360 degrees! (They used the wheelchair to disguise the fake leg.) So Shamrock attacked Shawn after HBK beat up Neidhart. He put Michaels in the anklelock. And Shawn tapped out again.

The Match: Ken shoves Shawn into the corners and throws him around the ring. Shamrock then backdrops Michaels and whips him into a corner flip. Shawn keeps regrouping and uses DX as a distraction. He wants to buy some time. Shawn even does eye-rakes to gain an advantage. But Ken hits more strikes and rams Shawn and Hunter’s heads together. Next, Ken crotches HBK on the ropes and attempts a belly-to-belly. Shawn grabs the ref to block it. This allows Michaels to nail a low blow. Then Shawn uses a flying crossbody and a baseball slide. He also distracts the ref and the DX interference begins. Chyna shoves Ken into a post. Triple H rams him into the rail and chokes him. But Ken keeps fighting. Shamrock rolls through a springboard crossbody and almost gets a pin. So Shawn slows the pace with chinlocks and sleeper holds. Ken breaks the sleeper by ramming Shawn into the corner. He then gives Michaels a hurricanrana and mounted punches. But Shawn does another eye-poke and whips Shamrock into the ropes. Ken’s head snaps off them in a scary moment. But Shamrock still turns a hurricanrana into a powerbomb. So Michaels distracts the ref and Triple H attacks again! Shawn follows with a flying elbow and goes for Sweet Chin Music. However, Shamrock ducks it and nails a belly-to-belly. He follows with the anklelock. Hunter senses trouble and jumps Ken to cause a DQ.

Thoughts: It wasn’t bad. But this dragged. The pace was slow. This had crisp action. But it found no momentum. Also, they overdid the interference. It became tiresome. Then there was the disappointing finish. (I feel like a broken record saying that on this show.) These two don’t have great chemistry. It’s Shamrock’s only WWF title shot on PPV. But he is about to start a memorable feud. So it’s not all bad for him.

Winner: Ken Shamrock (by DQ) (18:27)

DX continues attacking Shamrock. Hunter punches him, and Shawn chokes Ken. Then Hunter throws Shamrock to the floor and continues the assault. Shawn cheers from the apron. But a man in a hoodie jumps into the ring! He shoves Shawn onto the announce table!

It’s Owen Hart! Owen peppers Shawn with punches until he bloodies Shawn’s nose. Hunter spots him and comes to the rescue. So Owen jumps the guardrail and escapes into the crowd. (A fan puts his arm around Owen like they’re old friends.) The Fink announces Shamrock won by DQ. JR says Ken will have another day. But you hear Shamrock kicking the steps in frustration. Then Fink reminds the fans Shawn is still the champion. JR says payback will be hell for Shawn and DX. He also wonders where Owen went. Shawn then does crotch chops at the crowd. The fans throw trash. JR says goodnight as Shawn poses with his belt.

The Good:

• Taka/Christopher was good.

• Rock/Austin was chaotic fun.

• There was some good story and character progression.

The Bad:

• So many disappointing finishes.

• Dull action.

• Another Gang Wars match.

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to The Rock. He’s coming into his own now. The heel turn did wonders for him. Plus, his facial expressions are top-notch. The Rock/Austin match wasn’t long. But Rock’s selling and reactions made it fun.

Final Thoughts:

They should have called this PPV Disqualification: In Your House. Half the bouts ended in DQ. It had some good storyline and character development. But they mixed it with dull action and disappointing booking. This wasn’t a good show. The WWF is in end-of-the-year mode. Meanwhile, WCW is preparing for their biggest program. It shows you don’t have to treat December as an afterthought. But the WWF did, and this event suffered for it.

Thank you for reading. My next review is WCW’s Starrcade ’97. Look for it next Sunday!