Armageddon ’99

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Armageddon

December 12, 1999

National Car Rental Center

Fort Lauderdale (Sunrise), Florida

News & Notes: After Survivor Series, Triple H and Vince accused each other of running over Austin. Then Triple H challenged Vince to a match at Armageddon. But Helmsley wanted more. He also asked for a No Holds Barred contest. To get what he desired, Hunter showed Vince footage of his family lying injured in a stairwell. It appeared someone pushed them down the stairs. So Vince retaliated by ramming DX’s limo with his car and threw Triple H off the stage. As a result, DX had Vince arrested and got a restraining order against him. Despite all this, Stephanie continued her wedding plans. Vince even gave Test a fight with Triple H as a wedding gift. However, Hunter spoiled the occasion, but I’ll explain the rest before the main event.

Now for a rundown of the extra storylines. The police questioned various wrestlers about Austin’s hit and run. The investigation revealed a key piece of evidence. Someone used The Rock’s rental car in the incident, but Rock reported it stolen. Remember this for later. Meanwhile, supposed fans held signs up during Godfather’s matches. They called the WWF immoral and compared it to pornography. On a related note, the WWF complained about the PTC costing them sponsors. They encouraged fans to write letters to the Parents Television Council. You will understand the connection between these things soon enough.

The sounds of a child’s dramatic singing brings us the opening video. We see a quote that says if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything. Triple H might draw Vince’s blood, drain his soul, or seize his strength, but he won’t take all three. Hunter won’t take Vince’s daughter! But Vince took Triple H’s gold. To both men, these things are their life’s work. They define them, so both men know what they stand for. Vince and Hunter will stand and fight. It’s WWF Armageddon!

JR and Lawler welcome everyone to the battleground. The WWF punctuates this point by showing military vehicles around the stage. They brought a helicopter, a plane, and a Jeep. We also get enough fireworks to simulate a war. Then the Dudleys enter the arena for the tag team battle royal. Bubba stutters while saying the Dudley commandments. Plus, JR talks about the Dudleys mugging Edge and Christian. This leads to their entrance. Edge and Christian brawl with Bubba and D-Von before the other teams join them.

Participants: The Dudley Boyz, Edge & Christian, The Hardy Boyz, The Headbangers, Rodney & Pete Gas, The Acolytes, Too Cool, and The Godfather & Mark Henry. (Didn’t Mark Henry turn on Godfather? The WWF already forgot!)

Tag Team #1 Contender Battle Royal

Storyline: There are a few storylines heading into this battle royal. Edge and Christian started a feud with the Dudleys. They beat the Dudleys in a regular contest. Then Edge and Christian wrestled the Dudleys and Acolytes in a triple threat. The Dudleys hit a 3D, but Bradshaw stole the pin after a Clothesline from Hell. Later, the Dudleys faced Edge and Christian again. This time, they won when Edge tweaked his knee and the Dudleys attacked it. But this wasn’t the Dudleys only problem. They angered the Acolytes when Bubba cheated a poker. So the Acolytes came after the Dudleys while the Dudleys fought with Edge and Christian. Meanwhile, Too Cool scored a victory over Edge and Christian and received a tag title shot. However, the Hollys ruined it.

The Match: While everyone brawls, Christian dumps Rodney. The referee misses it, so the Posse keeps switching members to stay alive. But the ref sees Pete Gas go over the ropes. The next to go are Mosh and Mark Henry. Afterward, Christian and Scotty fight on the apron, and Christian low-bridges Grandmaster. Unfortunately for Edge and Christian, the Dudleys pull Edge out of the ring. Plus, the Dudleys attack the Acolytes, but Matt Hardy dumps D-Von while he celebrates. This leaves the Hardys and Acolytes. Matt and Bradshaw tumble outside at the same time, so the ref lets them continue. However, he misses Faarooq hitting the floor, and Faarooq returns to the ring. The Hardys fight until Faarooq launches Jeff Hardy to the barricade for final elimination!

Thoughts: This wasn’t bad for a Battle Royal. There were enough amusing moments and storyline developments to keep it interesting. On top of this, the closing minutes were exciting. The only minor gripe is the WWF looked foolish for assigning one ref to the bout. But they worked it into the story of the match, so I can’t complain too much.

Winners: The Acolytes (10:57)

Next, Lilian interviews Kurt Angle. She says Angle entered the WWF with full force and had tremendous success. Kurt thanks her for the comment, but he wants to clarify something. He is still undefeated. His tag team loss was Steve Blackman’s fault. But it’s okay. Few people reach the level of success and intensity of Kurt Angle. However, Kurt doesn’t understand the fans’ attitudes toward him. With that said, he expects Florida to appreciate him.

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Blackman

Storyline: Kurt Angle has a problem with the fans’ reactions toward him. He couldn’t believe they cheered a pimp, vampire, and pornstar instead of an Olympic gold medalist! Then Kurt fought Mark Henry and mocked him for coming in last at the Olympics. Later, Kurt tried his hand at the tag team division. He teamed with Steve Blackman three times, but they became frustrated with each other. First, Angle stole the pin after Blackman knocked out a Headbanger. Next, Blackman got them disqualified when he used a weapon. Finally, they faced the Dudleys, and Kurt had enough. He gave Blackman the Olympic Slam and left.

The Match: Blackman rushes to the ring. He tries to fluster Angle with strikes and a missile dropkick. So Angle answers with a clothesline and dropkick before attempting a moonsault. He misses! Then Blackman uses submission holds. He puts Kurt in a bow and arrow stretch and Mutalock. When they don’t work, we get some brawling on the floor. Back inside, Kurt loses his patience with the crowd and chokes Steve. But he calms down and they trade pin attempts. Afterward, Steve scores a snap suplex and spinebuster before trying a Vader Bomb. As he comes down, Kurt boots him in the face. Angle also evades an enziguri and ends it with a bridging German suplex.

Thoughts: This was a solid match. It wasn’t outstanding, but they accomplished their goal. The audience is catching onto the act and giving him the desired reaction. It’s not an overwhelming response, but it’s growing. Plus, Kurt added to his repertoire, which helps. We saw Angle’s awesome moonsault for the first time. He almost never hits it, but it looks amazing.

Winner: Kurt Angle (6:42)

After the match, Blackman grabs his nunchaku and attacks Angle. Once he knocks Kurt down, Blackman poses, but the sound guy almost plays Angle’s music. He realizes the mistake and starts Blackman’s theme instead.

Next, we see a brief glimpse of someone changing behind a curtain. Before we learn their identity, they play a clip from Heat. Moolah and Mae shoved Ivory into a pool. So Lawler calls them walking liver spots. They humiliated the women’s champion! Meanwhile, Cole enters the room with the changing curtain. He finds B.B. getting ready for the Evening Gown contest. This sight makes Cole forget the name of the PPV, and B.B. has to help him. She even asks Cole to zip her dress, which flusters Michael even more. He leaves before he embarrasses himself further. Afterward, they show golfer Greg Norman explaining the segment to his young son.

This leads to the entrances for the Evening Gown Pool Match. They appointed Moolah and Mae as the referees, which elicits jokes from Lawler. Meanwhile, the action begins early. By the time Ivory arrives, everyone is in the pool. So Ivory throws her shoes at her opponents.

Evening Gown Pool Match for the Women’s Title: Miss Kitty vs. B.B. vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory (c)

Storyline: Ivory faced Jackie and Luna in a hardcore triple threat, and she won. Then, on Thanksgiving, Ivory and Jackie fought in a gravy bowl, with Kitty as the referee. Jackie succeeded, so Ivory attacked her. When Kitty intervened, Ivory tried to drown her in the gravy, and EMTs came to help. However, Ivory attacked the blonde EMT we saw on previous shows. Later, the blonde introduced herself. Her name is Barbara “B.B.” Bush. She challenged Ivory to an Evening Gown contest, but the WWF changed it to a four-way. Kitty complained about this. How could she do an Evening Gown Match if she never wears underwear? The comment made Kevin Kelly laugh, and Kitty accused him of not taking her seriously. As a result, Kitty tore Kevin Kelly’s clothes. Finally, Moolah and Mae shoved Ivory into the pool on Heat.

The Match: The women yank Ivory into the pool and the splashing begins. They strip Jackie first. Then Ivory dunks B.B., so Kitty joins the effort. (Lawler says B.B. has built-in life preservers.) The joint efforts of Ivory and Kitty eliminate Barbara. But as B.B. leaves the pool, Ivory chases her to the platform. She tries to remove Barbara’s bra, and Ivory struggles. When it doesn’t work, Kitty brings Ivory back into the water. This draws boos from the crowd. Next, Ivory chokes Kitty with B.B.’s dress and pushes her under the water. So Kitty rakes the eyes and removes Ivory’s dress to win.

Thoughts: It seems the women’s division somehow became worse after Russo left. Russo at least put them in a few actual matches. Plus, given recent revelations about Vince McMahon, I think we know who books the women this way. This is sad. Ivory, Jackie, and Luna can work. Let them wrestle.

Winner: Miss Kitty (New Champion) (2:53)

Ivory screams when she realizes she lost her title, but Kitty celebrates with Moolah and Mae. Then Kitty tells everyone she said she would win, and she did. She also says everybody came to see her naked, but they made her wear underwear. With that said, Kitty strips off her dress. Plus, she removes her bra! This almost kills Lawler. He goes into overdrive. But Sgt. Slaughter covers her with a towel and drags her away, which draws boos from the crowd. (Here’s a fun fact. They didn’t censor Kitty’s breasts on the broadcast or the home video release. Only the network blurs them.) Once they leave, Mae also tries to get naked, so Slaughter and Garea stop her.

Next, Kevin Kelly interviews Rikishi. Tonight, Rikishi teams with Viscera against the Hollys. They show a clip of Rikishi and Viscera brawling with the cousins on Heat. So Kevin asks why the Hollys have a problem with Rikishi. Instead of answering, Rikishi attempts a nursery rhyme. He says, “Hickory dickory dock, Rikishi finally talks!” (That doesn’t rhyme.) Then Rikishi says the Hollys jumped on the newcomer, so they better watch out for the Rikishi Drop. He promises to get his hands on the Hollys for all the fat healthy people in the world. With this said, Rikishi tries to leave, but Kevin asks about Viscera. Rikishi says he better have his back because Rikishi has been working!

This leads to the entrances. JR says the Hollys wanted a super heavyweight match-up, and they got one! Lawler questions this, so JR asks who would be heavier than Rikishi and Viscera.

The Holly Cousins vs. Rikishi & Viscera

Storyline: Fatu returned to the WWF as a dancing and fun-loving sumo wrestler named Rikishi Phatu. He saved Too Cool from the Mean Street Posse and danced with them afterward. This led to Rikishi vs. Joey Abs with Too Cool in his corner. But the contest became a wild brawl. Next, Too Cool angered the Holly Cousins be defeating them. So the Hollys interrupted Too Cool vs. the Outlaws and gave Rikishi a DDT on a chair. Later, Rikishi defeated Hardcore Holly. This made the Hollys angrier, and they ambushed Rikishi and Too Cool at a dance club. Plus, they fought with Rikishi on Heat, but Viscera was nearby and intervened. Since Too Cool was in the battle royal, the WWF teamed Rikishi with Viscera for this bout.

The Match: Rikishi sits on Crash during a sunset flip and drags him to the corner for a Rikishi Drop. So Hardcore stops him and enters the bout. But he receives a corner squash and belly-to-belly. Then Rikishi attempts a tag, and Viscera glares at him. However, Rikishi slaps his chest, which the ref counts as a tag. Once he enters, Viscera gives Crash a Samoan Drop and his own belly-to-belly. In response, the Hollys hit a missile dropkick and double-team Viscera. Plus, Crash tries an assisted sunset flip, but Viscera escapes and nails a leg drop. Afterward, Rikishi returns and does a press cutter on Hardcore. When Hardcore rebounds with a DDT, Rikishi shakes it off because of his hard head. This leads to a brawl, and Rikishi does a Rikishi Driver on Crash. But Viscera does a wheel kick and hits Rikishi by mistake, so Hardcore pins him.

Thoughts: This wasn’t bad, but I still don’t understand why they teamed Rikishi and Viscera. McMahon must have wanted the Hollys to face two big guys. The commentary confirmed those suspicions. So this was pointless, but it had decent action. Rikishi looked good.

Winners: The Holly Cousins (4:23)

JR says the Hollys fell into an outhouse and came out smelling like roses. As he says this, Viscera gives the Hollys sarcastic applause before arguing with Rikishi. It leads to shoving and fighting until the officials stop them.

Afterward, Lilian interviews Val Venis about the European Title contest. She says Val held the Intercontinental belt, but now he could win another title. Val says he already proved he has what it takes to be a champion, so he will put more gold around his waist. When it’s all said and done, he will fly overseas and find Europe’s beautiful women. After all, he’s the Eiffel Tower and Big Ben rolled into one! With that said, Val sweet talks Lilian in Spanish, and she likes what she hears.

During the entrances, JR claims D’Lo Brown is the only man to hold the Intercontinental and European championships at the same time. This is an obvious shot at Jeff Jarrett. Meanwhile, Bulldog arrives with the Mean Street Posse. When Teddy Long sees them, he calls the Posse troublemakers and sends them to the back.

Triple Threat Match for the European Title: Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown vs. The British Bulldog (c)

Storyline: Bulldog finally got his WWF Title match and lost. But he bounced back with a win over the Godfather. Then Bulldog and Venis teamed against Too Cool. However, Val abandoned him after a miscommunication. This led to Bulldog vs. Venis for the European Title. It ended in a DQ when Bulldog used a low blow. Plus, Bulldog cost Val a victory against Kurt Angle. Meanwhile, D’Lo wanted to regain his Euro belt. So he wrestled Bulldog, and Venis interfered. As a result, they booked D’Lo vs. Val with the winner facing Bulldog. But this had no victor thanks to Bulldog and the Posse. Now we have a triple threat.

The Match: Val and D’Lo double team Bulldog until the fight spills outside. Then D’Lo dives onto his opponents! After more brawling on the floor, D’Lo suggests a partnership with Bulldog. It doesn’t last because Brown tells Bulldog he sucks. But D’Lo whiffs on a springboard DDT. When he recovers, Val and D’Lo double-team Bulldog again. They almost drop him on his head with a double hip toss. Later, Val and D’Lo fight on the top rope until Brown scores a super sunset bomb. However, Bulldog pulls Teddy Long outside and blames it on a fan. Afterward, Bulldog does the running powerslam, but D’Lo puts Val’s foot on the ropes. Finally, D’Lo hits a Sky High and Lo Down, but Val breaks the pin with a Money Shot and steals the victory.

Thoughts: This started and finished hot, but the middle section was awkward and sloppy. I wanted to like it. There were some nice spots, but the overall presentation fell flat. So I can only rate it as decent.

Winner: Val Venis (New Champion) (9:15)

Afterward, Cole interviews X-Pac ahead of his Cage Match with Kane. He says Kane demanded this cage fight on Heat, but X-Pac has his own demands. X-Pac says Kane can only win by pinfall. However, X-Pac can either pin him or escape. Also, he has a message for Kane. X-Pac says, “Tell your old lady to quit calling my hotel room at all hours of the night. She ain’t gonna get none!” (So this means she will get some, right? Ah, I see. It’s foreshadowing!)

When they arrive for the bout, X-Pac locks Kane inside the cage and threatens Tori. So Kane climbs over the top and they brawl.

Cage Match: Kane (w/ Tori) vs. X-Pac

Storyline: X-Pac and Triple H jumped Kane the night after Survivor Series, so Tori attempted to intervene. Then Kane teamed with Big Show to fight Boss Man and Viscera, but X-Pac helped Boss Man’s team win. Afterward, X-Pac spat on Tori and kicked her. This time, he said it was on purpose. Later, Kane and Test wrestled X-Pac and Triple H. During the bout, X-Pac shoved Tori and tried to give her a Bronco Buster, but Kane stopped him. However, this wasn’t Kane’s only worry. Viscera developed a taste for the ladies and stalked Tori. Kane and Big Show prevented Viscera from attacking her multiple times.

The Match: They hit each other with the ring bell and steps until Kane chases X-Pac into the cage. Pac waits for him to climb down and attacks, but Kane whips X-Pac around the ring. Next, X-Pac tries to stick and move, but Kane scores a press slam. Then they fight on the top rope, but X-Pac crotches Kane. Pac follows with a guillotine leg drop and a DDT only for Kane to rise each time. Plus, Kane nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, so the Outlaws rush to the ring.

The Outlaws open the door with bolt cutters and throw a chair and cuffs into the cage. When X-Pac grabs the chair, he blasts Kane and cuffs him to the wall. This draws Tori into the ring, but she takes an X-Factor! Watching it happen enrages Kane, so he kicks a chair into X-Pac’s face and breaks loose. But Pac tries to escape, and Kane goes outside to stop him. Back inside, Kane does a flying clothesline from the top of the cage and ends it with a Tombstone!

Thoughts: I liked this. They told a good story, and the finish was insane. Plus, they kept it the right length. This didn’t overstay its welcome, but it was long enough to accomplish its goals. Now, if only this was the end of the feud. X-Pac admitted in interviews the rivalry went too long. It isn’t over.

Winner: Kane (9:00)

After a recap, we get the entrances for Chyna vs. Jericho. JR says Jericho snapped after Survivor Series, so what will happen if he loses tonight? Then Lawler says they went tit for tat, but he doesn’t realize the innuendo until JR points it out. Meanwhile, Chyna jumps Jericho when he arrives.

Intercontinental Title Match: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna (c) (w/ Miss Kitty)

Storyline: After Survivor Series, Jericho didn’t want to get the sex change, so Chyna and Kitty mocked him. Jericho had enough. He tied Chyna to a chair and broke her thumb with a hammer! Later, Jericho challenged Big Show for the WWF Title. He almost won after Boss Man interfered, but Chyna hit Jericho with a hammer. So Jericho refused to wrestle Chyna because of the attack. He said he faced her fair and square, but she used a weapon! As he said this, Kitty sprayed Jericho with a fire extinguisher. Next, Chyna and Kitty tried to cost Chris a victory over Mankind. But Kitty’s failed interference helped Jericho win. Finally, Chyna aided Road Dogg in beating Jericho. She got the match restarted when the ref missed Dogg’s foot on the rope during a pin.

The Match: They trade strikes until the fight spills outside. There, Jericho suplexes Chyna onto the announce table and grabs a chair. But he misses, and Kitty stops a second attempt. This allows Chyna to dropkick the chair into Jericho’s face. Back inside, Jericho flies off the top rope and into a low blow by Chyna! However, a wheel kick sends Chyna into the ropes, and she gets tied up. With Chyna prone, Jericho targets the injured thumb. When she escapes, Jericho toys with her and does his cocky pin. He also removes a turnbuckle pad, but it backfires. Chyna raises her knees on a Lionsault and catapults Chris into the exposed buckle. Next, Chyna reverses Jericho’s moves and scores pin attempts. But Jericho counters a sunset flip into the Walls of Jericho. Chyna tries to fight it, but she taps out.

Thoughts: This was far better than their Survivor Series encounter. They gelled well together this time. And despite what Jericho said in interviews, I thought Chyna did fine. She held her end of the bargain. Plus, they added enough bells, whistles, and storytelling to overcome any shortcomings.

Winner: Chris Jericho (New Champion) (10:19)

Jericho makes the ref raise his arm three times. Then Jericho heads backstage, where Cole interviews him. He congratulates Chris on the win, but Jericho calls him Mitchell. Plus, Chris asks how the belt looks over his shoulder. He says he will soon put it around his sexy waist. As he says this, Chyna enters the scene. Jericho prepares for a fight, but she extends her hand instead. Chyna says Jericho was the better wrestler tonight, and they shake hands. But Jericho still wants a fight after she leaves.

Now it’s time for the tag title match. Mankind wears a new blue dress shirt, but Lawler still mocks his appearance. Afterward, The Rock joins Mankind before we get the Outlaws’ entrance. JR talks about Road Dogg’s experiences in Desert Storm. So Lawler jokes about both sides shooting at Road Dogg. Meanwhile, Road Dogg almost does his spiel, but he stops when the fans chant for Rocky.

Tag Team Title Match: The Rock ‘n’ Sock Connection vs. The New Age Outlaws (c)

Storyline: Mankind continued cheering up Al Snow with trips to Vegas and Disneyland. However, Snow’s attitude changed when Rock and Mankind reunited. Rocky proved he didn’t trash Mick’s book by quoting a passage. This made Mankind overjoyed, but Snow was jealous. He hated the Rock and told Mankind not to trust him. When Rock ‘n’ Sock defeated the Hollys in a #1 Contender bout, Snow had enough. He interrupted a Rock ‘n’ Sock match and brawled with Rocky. This led to Rock vs. Snow, and Al used a chair, so Mankind attacked Al. Afterward, Snow revealed the truth. He threw the book in the trash because Mick mocked Snow throughout the memoir. Plus, Al beat up Mankind with Head and a chair. Meanwhile, the Outlaws took advantage of the drama and ambushed Rock ‘n’ Sock. Gunn also wrestled Rocky, but Billy lost.

The Match: The Outlaws exchange strikes with Mankind, but Rock wants a tag when Gunn enters. As Rocky joins him, Gunn removes his t-shirt, so Rock attacks while it’s over his head. Then Rock ‘n’ Sock double-team Gunn until Dogg returns. Next, Mankind stops Shake, Rattle, & Roll with a Mandible Claw, but Gunn breaks it. This leads to brawling outside and into the crowd. Rocky fights with both Outlaws in and out of the ring. Plus, Rocky blocks Dogg’s pumphandle slam and scores a float-over DDT. It opens the door for Mankind’s hot tag.

Mick cleans house with punches and running knees. He even mocks Road Dogg’s Shake, Rattle, & Roll with a funky chicken dance. With Dogg dazed, Mankind lands a pulling piledriver. However, they wipe out the ref in the ensuing brawl. Despite this, Mick does a Double-Arm DDT and a Socko Claw, but Al Snow interferes. He decks Mankind with Head and tries to escape, so The Rock attacks Snow. Meanwhile, the Outlaws clock Mankind with the ring bell. When it only gets two, they try a spike piledriver, which the Rock prevents. Finally, Rocky mounts a comeback, but Snow runs in and hits Rock to cause a DQ.

Thoughts: I enjoyed this. They told a good story and had some fun moments. Mankind mocking the Shake, Rattle, & Roll gave me a laugh. I’m even fine with the ending. This show didn’t overdo the outside interference like WCW’s PPV. This was the only DQ finish, and it fit the storyline. (On a side note, did The Rock piss off Road Dogg? He threw some potatoes at The Rock during this bout.)

Winners: Rock ‘n’ Sock Connection (by DQ) (16:00)

After the bout, the Outlaws try to attack Rock and Mankind, but Rock gives Road Dogg a Rock Bottom. Even Al Snow comes back for more, so Rock gives Snow the People’s Elbow.

Then they recap the Big Show/Boss Man feud before Boss Man and Albert arrive. Once Boss Man enters the ring, he grabs a mic. Boss Man says Big Show’s fake daddy dying was funny. Plus, Boss Man says any of the morons in the arena could be Big Show’s real dad. This is too much for Big Show. He rushes to the ring and attacks.

WWF Title Match: The Big Show (c) vs. Big Boss Man (w/ Prince Albert)

Storyline: Big Show demanded a fight with Boss Man after Survivor Series, but Boss Man already had a #1 Contender bout with The Rock. Boss Man succeeded with Albert’s help, so he and Rock brawled. They even had a rematch, which The Rock won. But this didn’t deter Boss Man. He interfered in Big Show’s matches and used the nightstick on him. Plus, Boss Man paid Mideon to attack Show backstage and put him through a table. Later, Boss Man went to Big Show’s mother’s house. He intimidated her and made her admit a shocking revelation on live TV. Big Show was a bastard child. The father who died wasn’t his real dad. This brought Big Show to tears. So Big Show interrupted Boss Man & Albert vs. the Hardys. He chased Boss Man until Boss escaped in his car.

The Match: Big Show whips Boss Man around the ring and lands a beal toss. Then he nails a jumping forearm and throws Boss Man outside. While they’re on the floor, Albert interferes. So Big Show chokeslams Albert on the Spanish announce table. But this allows Boss Man to hit Show with the steps and shove him into the post. However, Boss Man can’t lift an unconscious Big Show. He breaks the count to buy time and rolls Show inside, but Show powers out of the pin attempt. Afterward, Big Show does a kip-up! He follows with a big boot and chokeslam to end it.

Thoughts: It fit the storyline, but it wasn’t much of a match. Worse yet, the crowd didn’t care. A few people chanted boring, despite the match’s length. Boss Man tried to rile up the fans with his promo, but it failed. The match had a foregone conclusion, and the audience knew it. Also, this illustrates how Big Show is keeping the belt warm while Triple H does other things. They didn’t close the PPV with this.

Winner: The Big Show (3:00)

Afterward, they recap the main event drama before Stephanie McMahon enters the arena. She takes a front-row seat, which DX bought her as a wedding gift. They want her to watch what Triple H does to her father. Then Fink announces this match is no holds barred and falls count anywhere. This leads to Hunter’s entrance, and he brings his sledgehammer with him. Hunter bangs it on the military vehicles and the ring steps to intimidate Steph. When Vince arrives, he hesitates to enter until Triple H drops the hammer.

No Holds Barred Match: Triple H vs. Vince McMahon

Storyline: Linda gave Stephanie a bachelorette party in Vegas, and Stephanie got drunk. Then the wedding day arrived. Vince warned DX not to ruin it or he would fire them. But Hunter interrupted them to reveal shocking footage. It showed Triple H marrying a drugged Stephanie at a drive-thru wedding chapel. Hunter implied they consummated the marriage, but a furious Vince couldn’t touch him. Later, the drama caused problems between Steph and Test, so Steph begged Hunter to sign an annulment. He had a better idea. If Vince beats him, he will sign it. But if Hunter wins, he gets a WWF Title shot. Plus, DX threw Shane off the stage when he delivered the match contract. Afterward, Vince disguised himself with a Vince McMahon mask and attacked Hunter with a pipe.

The Match: Vince throws powder in Hunter’s eyes, and they brawl into the crowd. As this happens, Mankind brings Vince a shopping cart full of weapons. Vince and Hunter use trash cans, a pipe, a crutch, and a chain. Later, they scuffle around the military vehicles and Hunter clocks Vince with a machine gun! After some back-and-forth action, Helmsley lures Vince to the parking lot and disappears. Vince scrambles to find him. But then Triple H appears in a car and almost hits Vince!

After fighting on cars, Triple H drags Vince back into the arena. He rams him into everything along the way before they come to a scaffold beside the PPV set. Vince finds a pipe and swings it, so Hunter climbs to get away from him. When Vince follows, Hunter rams his head into the scaffold and Vince falls! Afterward, Hunter drags a bloody Vince over to Steph and taunts her. With that done, he looks to finish it. Hunter ditches the pipe for his sledgehammer, but Vince scores a low blow! Now Vince grabs the hammer, but Steph jumps the rail and tells Vince she wants to do it. However, Steph hesitates and Hunter grabs the weapon. He nails Vince in the gut and head and pins him with a foot on Vince’s chest.

Thoughts: I liked most of this, but it went too long. I know. This probably shocks you. Triple H matches never go too long. All kidding aside, the action was good and told a nice story. But they should have shaved ten minutes off of this. With that said, I still enjoyed it.

Winner: Triple H (29:45)

Stephanie checks on her dad while Triple H celebrates. But then he grabs the sledgehammer. While Steph tries to revive Vince, Hunter raises the weapon over her head. JR screams at him not to do it, and Stephanie turns to face Triple H. After a moment, Hunter backs away and drops the hammer. So Stephanie looks at him—and she grins. Next, Stephanie hugs Triple H, which shocks the announcers. JR can’t believe Stephanie turned on her own father! They pose in triumph over Vince’s unconscious body. Ross says Vince doesn’t know what happened because he’s out cold. Even Mike Chioda yells at them for their actions, but they don’t care. Hunter and Stephanie embrace again as the show ends with a shot of their sinister smiles.

The Good:

• The main event was enjoyable, despite the length.

• Jericho/Chyna was good.

• Kane/X-Pac was great.

• I liked the tag title bout.

The Bad:

• The Evening Gown Pool Match

Observations:

• I don’t speak Spanish. So if anyone can translate what Val Venis said to Lilian Garcia, I’d appreciate it.

• They said this PPV was in Fort Lauderdale, but it was a suburb called Sunrise. Then they called Fort Lauderdale the suburb of Miami. So it was in a suburb of a suburb. This is some urban inception.

• We saw a glimpse of Greg Norman’s uncomfortable talk with his son about the backstage segment. I can’t imagine his reaction to Miss Kitty flashing everyone.

Performer of the Night:

There are a lot of choices, so I’ll go for the unexpected one. I’m giving it to Jim Ross. His commentary during and after the main event sold the storyline perfectly.

Final Thoughts:

This is an underappreciated PPV. I read and heard a few negative reviews, but I don’t agree. Armageddon was an enjoyable show with some fun moments. Only the women’s contest was bad. Everything else ranged from decent to quite good. Plus, I like where the storylines go after this event. Good stuff is coming.

Thank you for reading. My next review is WCW’s Starrcade ‘99. Look for it next Sunday.