Guilty as Charged ’99

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Guilty as Charged

January 10, 1999

Millennium Theatre

Kissimmee, Florida

News & Notes: ECW lost a few people since November to Remember. The Blue Meanie headed to the WWF. Bam Bam Bigelow and Mikey Whipwreck joined The Sandman in WCW. Chastity will follow them soon. ECW will also lose Nicole Bass after that. The roster is undergoing changes. But, as always, ECW added new faces to replace them.

They open with Paul Heyman. He thanks the fans for purchasing the event. To show their gratitude, ECW won’t jerk the fans around like the other guys. Paul says Masato Tanaka couldn’t make the trip from Japan. Also, Jerry Lynn’s fractured pelvis hasn’t healed. So the card will change. They didn’t want to give the fans a half-assed performance. Heyman believes ECW has the hardest-working athletes and performers in the business. The wrestlers who care the most about ECW are there. And they will break every effing rule in the book. For that reason, they are Guilty as Charged!

Then Joey Styles welcomes everyone to Kissimmee, Florida. Joey says wrestling is a business where no one is innocent, and ECW is Guilty as Charged! This leads to the usual opening video.

Next, The FBI and Doring & Roadkill arrive for their bout. Joey notices Doring’s tights say Muffin Ass on the back. It amuses him. The bell rings, but the teams stall. Doring does the Dastardly Shuffle and taunts the crowd. This draws out Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten. Joey says they aren’t supposed to be there. Axl calls the match a homosexual dance party. He suggests they make it an elimination-style Three-Way Dance instead.

Three-Way Dance: The Hardcore Chair Swingin’ Freaks vs. The F.B.I. (w/ Tommy Rich, Big Guido, & Sal E. Graziano) vs. Danny Doring & Amish Roadkill

Notes: Balls and Tanaka lost their tag belts to the Dudley Boyz after the Dudleys goaded them into a match. But Axl got a measure of revenge with a barbed wire bat. Meanwhile, Doring and Roadkill tried to do their part in putting Sabu out of action. Sabu returned early from his neck injury scare. Roadkill vowed to finish the job, but he failed. Also, Doring met the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express backstage. He claimed Gibson was his father because Ricky and Robert double-teamed his mom. Finally, The FBI did little, but they added a new bodyguard. His name is Big Guido. He used to work as a WWF jobber named Mike Fury.

The Match: Everyone brawls in and out of the ring. Guido crashes on the rail with a missed dive. Axl attacks Roadkill with a chair. Then Balls gives Smothers a superkick, a sit-out bomb, and a clothesline to the floor. Mahoney follows with a plancha onto the FBI. But Doring and Roadkill take control. Roadkill hits splashes. Doring nails a G-Spot Sweep, the Bareback (Inverted Stunner), and the Tea Bag (Guillotine Leg Drop). Doring and Roadkill continue with a Hart Attack, but Rich decks them with the flag. Guido and Smothers pin Doring with a double fisherman’s suplex. (Elimination: Doring & Roadkill)

Next, the FBI double-teams Balls with double chops and dropkicks. They also land a Paisan Elbow. Balls fires back with a Saito Suplex and tags Axl. He cleans house with clotheslines, punches, and a flip, flop, and fly. The Chair Freaks then whip the FBI into each other and hit their finishers in stereo. It’s enough for the three. (Final Elimination: The FBI)

Thoughts: It wasn’t bad. They kept it short and explosive, as an opener should be. It was hard to follow the opening moments, but they settled into a good pace. The fans enjoyed it. However, there was no build. It amounts to nothing. This was decent but ultimately forgettable.

Winners: The Hardcore Chair Swingin’ Freaks (10:43)

Balls sees Big Guido and Sal enter the ring, so he passes Axl a chair. They whack the big men in the head and send them packing. Balls and Axl hold up the dented weapons for the fans.

Terry Funk has words for Tommy Dreamer. He compares Dreamer to an old jackass Funk’s dad owned. Papa Funk loved the jackass until it kicked him in the nuts! Then he put the jackass down with a kitchen knife. Terry says Dreamer reminds him of that jackass. He kicked Terry in the nuts when he chose a scumbag like Jake Roberts over him. Terry vows to discover how much blood Tommy has in him. He threatens to juice him. Funk also says Jake Roberts is a son of a bitch, but so is Terry! It is payback time until the day Dreamer dies. Funk then tells the cameraman to leave. He screams at him to end the segment.

Up next is Super Crazy vs. Tajiri. Super Crazy is an eight-year veteran from Mexico. Tajiri wrestled for four years in Japan. Joey also says Super Crazy is one of the few luchadores to voluntarily unmask.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Notes: Tajiri wrestled a few light-heavyweight matches on WWF TV, but this ECW run makes him famous. This is an early version of Tajiri. He doesn’t have the signature look or the mist yet. Those come later. Tajiri debuted on ECW TV in December. Yoshihiro defeated Antifaz del Norte and impressed the fans. The next week, Tajiri beat Pablo Marquez. In the same episode, Super Crazy had his first ECW match. He also pinned del Norte. So now these newcomers face each other.

The Match: It starts with mat wrestling and pin attempts. Tajiri takes control with basement dropkicks. He follows with a handspring elbow, Asai Moonsault, and the Tarantula. Crazy answers with a springboard dropkick, somersault plancha, and a moonsault off the rail. Back inside, Crazy does a rolling surfboard. Then Tajiri sends Crazy outside and lands a plancha. When they return, they trade magistral cradles. Crazy takes over and hits tornado DDTs, but he misses a corkscrew splash. It leads to fighting on the top rope. Tajiri uses a sunset bomb and a Super Frankensteiner. Next, they exchange powerbombs. Tajiri then spins Crazy around and pins him with a Dragon Suplex.

Thoughts: This was good fun. They used innovative spots and nice counters. It contained little selling, but that’s fine. This was a showcase of what they can do. And it’s only the beginning. These two become a staple of the ECW undercard for a while.

Winner: Tajiri (11:37)

We see replays after the bout. The clip shows Super Crazy’s shoulders weren’t flush on the mat. Joey praises the camerawork, but you hear him hesitate when he sees the footage.

John Kronus appears, but we don’t know who he is facing. Joey says Kronus isn’t dangerous unless you anger him. But he is stark-raving nuts. Then the former referee, Jeff Jones, arrives. He wears a judge’s robe and says the judge is here. This confuses Joey. He says Jones never went to law school. He didn’t even graduate from pre-school! Jones couldn’t pass a urine test! Jones thinks Bill Clinton and OJ Simpson are guilty as charged. And so is Kronus! John attacked Jones at a house show and gave him the 450 splash. Now Kronus must face Jeff’s executioner. He’s psycho and will viciously deal out justice. It’s Sid!

Sid Vicious (w/ Judge Jeff Jones) vs. John Kronus

The Match: Kronus throws ineffective punches, so Sid tosses him over the ropes. John lands on a table. Then Sid grabs a chair and whacks Kronus in the head and back. The fans chant for a powerbomb. Sid grants their wish. He rolls Kronus inside and nails the move for the win.

Thoughts: It was an amusing squash. The crowd popped for it. They got ECW fans to cheer for Sid, so it did something right. I’m fine with this. They set Sid up for a brief run with the company. It didn’t take up too much time.

Winner: Sid Vicious (1:31)

Jeff Jones tells Sid he is the man. Joey says they need a squeegee for Kronus. (That made me laugh.) Styles also doesn’t think Jones can control Sid.

Next, they recap the Taz/Douglas feud. Sabu ignited a feud with Taz and Shane after November to Remember. Taz vowed to take out Sabu in three stages. Sabu would receive three receipts. The first one was a Tazmissionplex that landed Sabu on his head. He did it again in Buffalo. Then Taz re-injured Sabu with a Tazplex through a table. However, Taz messed with Douglas’ head. He pulled Sabu on top of himself and let Sabu win the FTW belt. Taz stepped in as the new number one contender for the ECW championship. Heyman says Taz broke Sabu’s neck and stole his title shot. But what about Sabu?

Joey wants to continue discussing the main event, but the producers say otherwise. They want him to talk about the Dudleys. Styles doesn’t understand why until he spots Gertner and company. The Dudleys arrive. Buh-Buh says they’re the greatest tag team in the world. He wants competition, and he doesn’t care who it is.

Gertner calls himself Florida’s top tourist attraction. He jokes about sleeping with Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck. Joel claims women beg for him between their legs. And his seed tastes like vanilla. The fans cheer Gertner’s shtick, so Buh-Buh tells them to shut up. Next, Joel says his co-conspirator is pretty fly for a sign guy. Also, Big Dick split your 42-year-old mom into 21-year-old twins and stuck it to them. Meanwhile, Joel introduces D-Von as if he’s on a Waffle House menu. Finally, he mentions Buh-Buh Ray. Joel calls him everyone’s favorite wrestler and role model. But he’s a pro-wrestler’s nightmare.

Then Buh-Buh says they would kick every fan’s ass if they had the time. They have no match tonight. The Dudleys weren’t even supposed to be at the miserable PPV. He says the fans don’t deserve to see them fight. But if there’s any man in the building who wants some, get your ass to the ring! The challenge brings out New Jack and Spike Dudley. Spike dressed like a gangsta. Joey says you never issue an open challenge in ECW.

The Dudley Boyz (w/ Joel Gertner, Big Dick, & Sign Guy) vs. New Jack & Spike Dudley

Notes: Buh-Buh Ray Dudley pushed Balls and Tanaka into a tag title match. He insulted Axl’s dying grandmother. The ploy worked. The Dudley Boyz defeated Balls and Tanaka to regain their tag gold. Then Buh-Buh and D-Von faced Balls, Tanaka, & Hack Meyers. They won, but Axl scored the revenge I mentioned earlier. However, The Dudleys had a short-lived reign as champs. They wrestled RVD & Sabu and lost the belts! To make matters worse, New Jack vowed revenge on everybody who attacked him over the last few months. That includes The Dudleys. But they got to him first. The Dudleys jumped Jack and threw him off the eagle’s nest. He landed on two tables.

The Match: They fight with crutches, metal trays, and bowls. D-Von scuffles with New Jack while Spike gets the better of Buh-Buh. But Buh-Buh takes control and throws Spike into the crowd twice! D-Von and Jack continue brawling until Jack and Spike get guitars. Buh-Buh and D-Von avoid them, but Dick isn’t as lucky. (Styles says he went limp.) Then the Dudleys answer with chairs. Buh-Buh gives Spike a Super Buh-Buh Bomb. Next, they take Jack to the ramp. D-Von hits Buh-Buh by mistake, but they still land a 3D on Jack. So Spike throws low blows and gives everyone Acid Drops. There is more miscommunication among the Dudleys. However, Big Dick blocks one more Acid Drop. It allows Buh-Buh and D-Von to give Spike a 3D for the win.

Thoughts: It was mindless brawling. Buh-Buh throwing Spike into the crowd was cool. I also liked the 3D on the ramp. But the rest dragged. It had no flow. New Jack and D-Von filled time while Buh-Buh and Spike did their part. You could see them watching for their cue. It was a mess.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz (10:01)

Sign Guy cuffs Spike to the ropes. Then D-Von recites the Dudley Commandments as they bust open New Jack with a chair. Buh-Buh declares Jack and Spike are dead. They beat every team in ECW. The Dudleys split the Gangstas and the Eliminators. They also sent the Sandman packing and broke Beulah’s neck. There is only one team left to beat. They want to prove they are the best pairing in ECW history. Therefore, they want the Public Enemy! Buh-Buh dares them to show up in Philadelphia on January 16^th. Styles hopes they answer the challenge. He wants The Dudley Boyz out of ECW!

Joey then reminds everyone Tanaka isn’t there. He says they will find a suitable replacement. This leads to an RVD video package. It is footage of him hitting Van Daminators and winning the TV Title.

Lance Storm and Tammy Lynn Bytch arrive next. Storm says it is obvious he isn’t having a Three-Way Dance tonight. Spike already took a beating. Jerry Lynn is backstage, crying about a cracked pelvis. So this frees Lance up for better things. The only thing greater than being from Calgary is having gold around your waist. Storm wants RVD. Lance says he isn’t the whole effing show, but he is the best damn part of it.

TV Title Match: Rob Van Dam (c) (w/ Bill Alfonso) vs. Lance Storm (w/ Tammy Lynn Bytch)

Notes: They created this match out of two canceled bouts. Masato Tanaka defeated Justin Credible for a shot at RVD’s TV Title. But Tanaka couldn’t make it to the PPV. Meanwhile, Storm’s issues with Lynn and Whipwreck continued. He played them against each other to stir the pot. It backfired. The ref made Lance face Lynn and Whipwreck back-to-back. He survived by using Tammy Lynn Bytch’s loaded purse. They planned 3-Way Dance between Storm, Lynn, and Whipwreck, but Mikey signed with WCW. Spike Dudley took Whipwreck’s spot in the contest. Then Lynn suffered an injury, so they scrapped the encounter.

The Match: They start with mat wrestling until Storm grabs rolling Half Crab. Fonzie draws Lance’s attention by grabbing Miss Bytch. Storm and RVD fight outside. RVD does a somersault plancha into the crowd. Storm answers with a reverse DDT on the floor! Then Lance performs a springboard plancha into the stands! Later, RVD flips through a back superplex and lands a Rolling Thunder. He continues with a Van Daminator after two tries. Fonzie says Storm is out. He plays possum and kicks RVD low when Bytch occupies the official. RVD rallies with another Van Daminator. It clocks the ref! Storm capitalizes with a sidekick to the chair, but there’s no referee. Next, Fonzie distracts Storm, and RVD nails a flying Van Daminator. But he misses the Five Star Frog Splash. It leads to powerbomb and pin reversals until RVD wins with a German Suplex.

Thoughts: This was great. It had a good back and forth. They did some crazy spots, but they wove a good story into it. I liked how both men used underhanded tactics against each other. Then Storm had nice counters for some of RVD’s usual offense. The action made RVD look resilient. Plus, they set a good pace and built to a solid finish.

Winner: Rob Van Dam (18:50)

They recap the Justin Credible/Tommy Dreamer feud. Footage plays over dramatic piano music. We see Justin caning Tommy. Then they show Terry Funk joining forces with Credible. They injured Dreamer’s leg with a chair and a ladder. Funk also slapped Tommy.

This leads to the Stairway to Hell Match. A cane hangs over the ring. The competitors must climb a ladder to take the weapon and use it. Justin Credible arrives with his entourage. He added Jazz, but they haven’t named her yet. She wears a jacket that says, “Jazzmyn.” Then Joey discusses Funk’s betrayal. He can’t believe Tommy’s father figure joined Justin Credible. When Dreamer enters the arena, he drags a ladder to the ramp. Nicole Bass tells Tommy he is going to die.

Stairway to Hell Match: Justin Credible (w/ Jason, Jazz, & Nicole Bass) vs. Tommy Dreamer

Notes: Dreamer received a TV Title shot against RVD, but Credible ruined it. Then Tommy teamed with Chetti and Nova to wrestle the FBI. Justin also interrupted that bout. Dreamer returned the favor. He cost Credible his chance to challenge RVD. So Justin added two twists to the feud. First, he found a new member of his entourage. Her name is Jazz. She beat up a female fan who got in Chastity’s face. But Justin had a bigger surprise. Terry Funk helped Credible attack Dreamer. He called Justin his protégé. They tried to injure Tommy’s leg with a ladder and a chair. Funk attacked Dreamer a second time. He slapped him and drove Tommy’s head into a chair.

The Match: Tommy takes the fight outside with a Cactus Clothesline. But Justin takes control with the guardrail and a chair. Tommy answers with a Russian Leg Sweep and a Dreamer Driver. He then grabs the ladder and avoids Justin’s baseball slide. Dreamer slams Justin on the ladder, but he misses an elbow drop. Justin capitalizes and tries to injure Tommy’s arm. Later, Dreamer fends off Justin’s entourage. Then Nicole flubs her interference, so Dreamer nails a Spicolli Driver on Credible. After a see-saw spot, they knock each other off the ladder. Justin also puts Tommy on the ladder and dumps him outside. But Tommy returns with a second ladder. They climb, and Dreamer gives Justin a cutter from the ladder. It allows him to unhook the cane. However, Funk clocks Tommy with a trash can. Justin retrieves the cane, whacks Tommy, and lands That’s Incredible for the win.

Thoughts: It dragged. They did a few nice spots, but most of it was dull brawling. Then the finish was awkward. Tommy took forever to remove the cane. Justin waited on him. Only the cutter and Justin dumping Tommy over the ropes were good. The overall match was lackluster.

Winner: Justin Credible (18:45)

Funk yells at Dreamer and smashes him with the can. Joey begs Tommy to fight back instead of covering up. He wonders what is going through Dreamer’s head. How much can one man take? Then Terry raises Justin Credible’s arm as they leave. Styles says Tommy must put his hands on his father figure sooner or later.

Steven Prazak stands outside Taz’s locker room. Taz begrudgingly agreed to do an interview. He yells at Prazak to get in there. Steven says it’s Taz’s first shot at the title. What does he say? Is tonight the night? Taz finds the question stupid and calls Prazak a rocket scientist. He asks if Steven sells toothpicks for a living. Then Taz says he only needs the camera and a mic. After kicking Steven out, Taz says tonight is the night. He tells Douglas to beat him if he can and survive if he lets him.

Shane Douglas complains about Sid coming to ECW to steal what he made. He tells Sid to go somewhere else. Taz is the issue at hand. The immovable object meets the unstoppable force. They were the dominant players from day one. But Taz won’t be the champion. Shane won’t give up the title. He tells Taz to seek it elsewhere. Tonight, he will play games with Taz all night long. Shane repeats, “It’s my belt. Ain’t that right?” Francine replies, “Yeah, Shane. Of course, you’re right.” But she seems preoccupied with her makeup.

Shane and Taz arrive for the main event. Shane has the new ECW belt. It’s the design that sticks around until the end. They stand face-to-face. Shane talks trash, but Taz stares at him. Douglas wears a cast on his wrist. Styles says he fractured it and severed a nerve in his thumb. Then Francine kisses the gold before the ref takes it. Afterward, Taz flips Shane off.

ECW Title Match: Taz vs. Shane Douglas (c) (w/ Francine)

Notes: Sabu’s pinfall at November to Remember earned him an ECW Championship match. Douglas and Sabu wrestled at a house show. A controversial double-pin spooked Douglas. Sabu had to go! Shane struck a deal with Taz. Bam Bam jumped to WCW and Candido got injured. Taz was Douglas’ only hope of putting Sabu out of action. Shane offered Taz money and Bam Bam’s spot in the Triple Threat if he took Sabu out. Taz agreed to the deal. He dropped Sabu on his head and hospitalized him. But Sabu returned the next week. Taz faced Sabu again with the FTW belt on the line. He re-injured Sabu. However, Taz pulled Sabu on top of him and let him win the FTW gold! He no longer needed it. Taz didn’t want money or a spot in the Triple Threat. His asking price was Sabu’s ECW title shot!

The Match: They mat wrestle until Taz lands a Tazplex and an Alabama Slam. Then the fight devolves into a crowd brawl. They spill over the guardrail and ascend to the top of the stands. Shane bleeds after Taz rams him into the barricade. Shane returns the favor by busting Taz open with a chair. When they return to the ring, Taz and Shane put each other through tables. But then the lights go out! Sabu’s music plays. He arrives and wreaks havoc. Sabu puts both men through tables with triple jump dives, and he limps away. Shane crawls to a pin, but he only gets two! Then Shane calls for help. Tammy Sytch answers, but Francine catfights with her. Candido also appears, but he turns on Shane! Chris decks him and removes his Triple Threat shirt. Taz then nails a Tazplex and grabs a Tazmission. Shane passes out.

Thoughts: It only became interesting in the end. Most of this was dull crowd brawling. While the finish picked up the pace, it wasn’t great. Taz needed Sabu and Candido’s help to win. They portray him as a killer, but this made him look weaker. He was the right winner, but the method was poor.

Winner: Taz (New Champion) (22:15)

There is little time left. Taz poses with the belt. Then they plug Living Dangerously as the show ends.

The Good:

• Tajiri/Super Crazy was fun.

• RVD/Storm was great.

• I liked Terry Funk’s promo.

The Bad:

• The main event was disappointing.

• The Dudleys match was a mess.

Performer of the Night:

This was a tough one. I almost gave it to Tajiri and Super Crazy. But I went with Storm and RVD as co-winners. Their match was a better overall package. Plus, it was a last-minute addition.

Final Thoughts:

The show started well and had a couple of good matches. But the final hour brought it down a notch. The two biggest bouts didn’t deliver. This event was a mixed bag. It wasn’t bad, but it fell short of expectations. It’s a shame. They built the Taz vs. Douglas match for a long time. It didn’t live up to the hype.

Thank you for reading. My next review is WCW’s Souled Out ’99. Look for it next Sunday.