WrestleMania XX

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

WrestleMania XX

March 14, 2004

Madison Square Garden

New York City, New York

News & Notes: This will be a long review. Thankfully, I only have two extra storylines to discuss before we begin. After the Royal Rumble and No Way Out, they focused primarily on the WrestleMania build.

Tough Enough 3 winner John Hennigan approached Eric Bischoff for an opportunity. He wanted to become Bischoff’s assistant, but Johnny needed a more exciting name. First, he chose Johnny Blaze, but he switched to Johnny Spade. John will change it again, but he stuck with Spade for now. Meanwhile, Matt Hardy went on a losing streak and grew frustrated. He lost to Booker T in solo and tag team encounters. Plus, Benoit defeated Matt.

The PPV: The Fink introduces the world-renowned Boys Choir of Harlem to sing “America the Beautiful.” They mix things up by starting with one of the later verses before going into the usual intro. This was a beautiful rendition. Streamers drop from the ceiling once they finish.

Next, they talk about Vince’s vision for WrestleMania. The narrator says Vince changed the world 20 years ago. (It was 19, but WWE was never good at counting these things. They don’t know the difference between annual and anniversary.) We cheered them on, stood in awe, held onto our seats, and gave up our hearts. Fans watched in utter disbelief, stunned silence, and sheer amazement. But it’s not just the fans. Guerrero, Lesnar, Benoit, Angle, Cena, Foley, Big Show, and the Rock share what this means to them. This is about passion, family, dreams, history, and life itself. WrestleMania is the showcase of the immortals, where superstars will achieve the impossible and forge new beginnings. No one will hold back as they hunt down their dreams. Tonight is where it all begins again. They convey this idea with a shot of Vince and Shane holding Shane’s newborn son.

Now, fireworks explode while they play “Step Up” by Drowning Pool. JR welcomes everybody to the pomp, pageantry, and passion of WrestleMania. These superstars can earn their way into immortality. JR says he has never been more ready, so Lawler tells him to relax. Meanwhile, the Spanish announcers and Cole and Tazz greet the audience. Cole says Tazz is in his hometown, so this must be exciting.

The introductions lead to John Cena’s entrance. He does his usual rap about the Big Show. Cena compares Show to King Kong. He’s an ape with opposable thumbs. Cena says Big Show stuffs his singlet. He looks like he’s smuggling plums. The people know Big Show can’t see Cena. John is itching to beat him like a penis with an STD. Then Cena says he’s wrestling the hippo float from the Macy’s parade. Cena says it’s time to win some gold to match his custom knucks. So, he tells the crowd to chant with him. Big Show sucks.

US Title Match: John Cena vs. The Big Show (c)

Storyline: Big Show defended the US belt against Hardcore Holly the night after No Way Out. He won, and Cena challenged him to a match for Mania afterward. Later, Show teamed with Chavo against Cena and Mysterio. Rey pinned Chavo, but Chavo Sr. went after Rey, so Cena saved him. John gave Chavo Sr. the FU, but Big Show attacked Cena and Mysterio. Next, Cena wrestled A-Train. He tweaked his knee again. Cena still succeeded, so Big Show applauded him sarcastically. Finally, Cena and Big Show had warm-up matches. Cena beat Rhyno while Big Show squashed two jobbers. John jumped Big Show after his bout and raised the US Title over his head.

The Match: Big Show keeps shoving Cena when John attacks. He tosses him outside, but Cena scuffles with him at the ropes. John nails a hotshot before performing a flying crossbody. The problem is that Big Show catches Cena and slams him. Now, Big Show toys with Cena. He chops, chokes, and stands on John. Cena fights back, but Big Show headbutts and suplexes him. He adds a big boot and the Final Cut, but they only gain two!

When Show seeks a powerslam, Cena counters into a sleeper hold. Big Show squashes John in the corner to stop it and locks him in a Cobra Clutch. Once Cena escapes, he sticks and moves until he scores the FU. Cena can’t believe it when Big Show kicks out. He looks to use the chain, but the ref stops him. John throws it away to distract the referee and grabs his custom knucks. He punches Big Show with them, hides the weapon in his shorts, and lands the FU for the three.

Thoughts: This was a little dull while Big Show controlled the action, but I will credit them. They never lost the crowd, and they built to a nice finish. The story was simple yet effective, so I can’t fault them. Cena’s win was a good way to begin the show.

Winner: John Cena (New Champion) (9:14)

Backstage, Coach greets Tom Prichard, Johnny the Bull, and Teddy Long. Teddy tells him to hold up, wait a minute, and put a little WrestleMania on it. Then, Coach enters Bischoff’s office to find Eric and Johnny Spade. Bischoff says he heard a rumor the Undertaker was there. People have heard strange noises, so Eric tells Coach to investigate. This idea worries Coach. He says Taker is on Smackdown, but that’s Eric’s point. He doesn’t want Smackdown to scoop him. Coach says Eric’s request makes him uncomfortable, so Bischoff tells him to get comfortable and find Taker. Coach finally agrees and leaves. Bischoff calls him a good man while Johnny chews his gum loudly.

Elsewhere, Orton, Flair, and Batista stand in the same stairwell where Orton kicked Foley down the steps. Randy recaps what he has done to Foley over the past few months while they show clips. He says this is ironic because everything begins again in the building where Orton became the new hardcore legend. He can appreciate how Foley is trying to hang onto a shred of what he once was, but Mick can’t accept his time has passed. They gave Foley beating after beating, and Evolution has grown tired. Foley even called the Rock back from Hollywood, but they also got him. Evolution will prove the Rock ‘n’ Sock Connection has become washed up. This is Evolution’s time to make history. It started in June, and it begins again at WrestleMania XX.

Sudden Death Fatal 4-Way for the World Tag Team Titles: Booker T & Rob Van Dam (c) vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance

Storyline: Evolution beat up Booker and RVD after they fought Orton for his IC Title, so Booker and RVD wanted revenge. They wrestled Evolution for the tag titles and won! Later, Booker and RVD defended the belts against La Resistance. They succeeded, but Booker pinned the illegal man. La Resistance complained about this and took Stunners from Austin. Meanwhile, Cade and Jindrak continued their issues with the Dudleys. They cheated to win matches and busted Bubba’s nose. Then they announced this bout and held qualifiers. Cade and Jindrak overcame Hurricane and Rosey. The Dudleys defeated Storm and Venis. And La Resistance received their spot because of the previous injustice. Lastly, La Resistance, Cade, and Jindrak faced Booker, RVD, and The Dudleys, but argued over who got credit for the victory.

The Match: Booker and RVD use a monkey flip, double-teaming, sidekicks, and clotheslines to fend off Dupree and Bubba. D-Von enters illegally to give Booker an elevated reverse DDT, but RVD nails him with a flying kick. Now, Jindrak tags himself in. Cade and Jindrak trade strikes with Booker, but La Resistance also tags themselves into the fight. They do frequent tags and ground Booker with holds. The onslaught lasts until Booker scores a spinebuster and RVD returns. Rob cleans house with kicks and clears the ring. Unfortunately for Rob, D-Von shoves him off the top rope. This move causes a wild brawl. The Dudleys forget who the legal man is. They attempt a 3D on Booker, which Cade prevents. Conway is legal, so he goes after Booker only to take a scissors kick. With Conway down, RVD lands a Five Star for the three.

Thoughts: This was okay. The ending felt chaotic and exciting, but the rest wasn’t anything special. They created this to get as many people on the card as possible, making it crowded and messy. A hot crowd was the main reason this wasn’t completely forgettable.

Winners: Booker T & RVD (7:49)

Meanwhile, Coach asks a crew member where the freakish noises are coming from. Before the man can answer, Coach hears banging and cackling inside a storage closet. The door opens to reveal a disheveled Mean Gene. Coach asks Gene what he is doing, so Gene claims he’s there for the Hall of Fame ceremony. While they talk, Bobby Heenan stumbles out of the room. He says this isn’t what Coach thinks. They were playing poker in there! Coach says he heard other voices, but Gene denies this. Unfortunately for Gene, Moolah and Mae Young emerge from the door. Mae tries to show Heenan her puppies. Bobby says they are barking and need a muzzle. Then Moolah and Mae pull a reluctant Bobby and Gene back into the darkness. Heenan says his doctor told him he’s too unwell for this. Coach walks away slowly.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Storyline: Christian yelled at Jericho for being an idiot. Jericho injured his knee while defending Trish against Kane because Bischoff used Kane to manipulate Jericho. Jericho’s actions cost him a World Title opportunity, and it ruined Jericho’s and Christian’s chance at the tag belts. However, Jericho almost won Trish over. So, Christian accused Trish of trying to break them up like Yoko Ono did to the Beatles. Strangely, Christian appeared to have a change of heart and apologized to Trish. It was a ruse. Christian wanted to sabotage Jericho’s relationship with Trish. Later, Bischoff made Christian wrestle Trish for a tag championship shot. Christian pretended to lie down for her, only to attack Trish and make her tap to the Walls of Jericho. Afterward, Christian hosted a Highlight Reel where he gloated. Jericho came after him, but Christian jumped Jericho backstage as Jericho tried to confess his love to Trish.

The Match: They shove and slap each other before Jericho scores knockdowns, a back suplex, and a backdrop to the floor. Jericho follows with a triangle jump crossbody and rams Christian into the barricade. Inside, Jericho counters a sunset flip into the Walls of Jericho, but Christian finds a rope break. Now, Christian uses an eye poke and dumps Jericho over the ropes. Jericho smacks his face on the apron as he falls, allowing Christian to take control. No matter how much Jericho rallies, Christian subdues him with eye rakes, kicks, and chinlocks. Jericho tries suplexes and pin attempts, but Christian raises his knees during a Lionsault. The Unprettier gets blocked, so Christian settles for a tornado reverse DDT.

Christian’s assault finally ends because Jericho surprises him with the Flashback. Christian answers with a backbreaker, and they fight on the top rope. When Christian shoves Jericho down, Jericho tweaks his knee again. Jericho still reverses a flying crossbody, but Christian targets the knee and puts Chris in a Texas Cloverleaf. Jericho escapes and secures the Walls. He even maintains the hold despite a tumble through the ropes, but Jericho releases it to stop the count. Next, Jericho lands a superplex as Trish arrives to cheer him on. Christian fires back with an elevated DDT and grows frustrated when it doesn’t work. He goes to grab a weapon, but Trish distracts Christian. Christian attacks her for interfering, so Jericho knocks him outside and checks on Trish. The problem is that she elbows Chris, thinking it’s Christian. The strike allows Christian to roll Jericho up for the three.

Thoughts: This was great. They built the tension and aggression well. Plus, I liked that ending because I know what happens in the aftermath. This was a good mix of storytelling and nice action. This kind of win was what Christian needed, and he shined in this encounter.

Winner: Christian (14:56)

Trish apologizes for her mistake and helps Jericho to his feet. Jericho turns to leave, but Christian returns. As Jericho tries to go after him, Trish holds onto Jericho’s arm. She slaps Chris twice, allowing Christian to give Jericho the Unprettier. Christian yells at the downed Jericho while Trish smiles. She leaves with Christian, but they stop to taunt Jericho when they reach the stage. Jericho watches as Christian and Trish kiss. Trish smirks and walks away.

Lilian interviews Foley about his emotions going into his first match in four years. Mick says this is about more than that. This is the biggest night in their sport, and it is in MSG. Mick hopes his hatred for Evolution won’t mess up his and the Rock’s plans. Speaking of the Rock, he tells Mick to let the emotion go. The Rock has finally come back to New York City, and Foley has returned home! Then Rocky tells Lilian not to look at the People’s Package. This is a closed buffet. Next, Rocky spots the Hurricane and Rosey. He calls them the Hamburglar and Grimace, but they know what is happening. Muraco and Snuka also know it. But most importantly, the millions know it. They will slap the lips off those Evolution sons of bitches. If you smell what the Rock ‘n’ Sock Connection is cooking!

Handicap Match: Evolution (Randy Orton, Batista, & Ric Flair) vs. The Rock ‘n’ Sock Connection

Storyline: Foley said his only mistake was accepting the Orton match. He wasn’t ready then, but Orton’s disrespect opened his eyes. Foley took issue with Orton calling him a coward, considering Randy went AWOL in the Marines. Mick dared Randy to spit in his face again. When Randy did, Foley punched himself until he bled and challenged Orton to a fight. The problem was that Evolution outnumbered Mick. Randy jumped Mick after matches and backstage, but Mick kept fighting back. So, Evolution gave him a long and brutal beating. Foley wondered why no one helped. Perhaps everyone lost respect when he walked away, but one person had his back. The Rock returned to be Foley’s partner against Evolution! Later, Rock hosted This is Your Life for Mick. He invited an old teacher, Jimmy Snuka, and a critic of one of Foley’s books. Sadly, Evolution ruined it.

The Match: After a brawl subsides, Rock and Foley send Flair outside for a Cactus Elbow. Orton bails to avoid Mick, but Foley rams him into the announcer’s table and puts Randy in a tree of woe. Mick nails a running elbow before Rock punches Orton in the nuts. This attack continues until Flair uses a cheap shot, and Batista low-bridges the Rock. Eventually, Rocky fends off Batista’s barrage, and Foley drills Batista with a running knee in the corner. Unfortunately, Foley’s rally ends when Orton takes him to the floor and sends him into the steps. Now, Orton grounds Mick with takedowns, chinlocks, and strikes. Mick fights back with a Mandible Claw and a swinging neckbreaker before tagging the Rock.

The Rock scores a jumping forearm and a DDT, but Batista plants Rocky with a spinebuster. With the Rock down, Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock kips up while Flair struts and neutralizes Evolution before performing the real move. It only earns two, but Rock drops Orton with the Rock Bottom. Flair grabs Rock to stop the pin and goes after a chair. The ref deals with this, allowing Batista to plant the Rock with a Batista Bomb. Orton crawls over to pin him, but it isn’t enough. The kick out enables Foley to return. He knocks Evolution down and gives Orton a double-arm DDT. Socko comes out afterward, but Orton hits an RKO out of nowhere to win.

Thoughts: I don’t know why Foley doesn’t like this. I thought he did fine for not wrestling in four years. This was fun and never dragged. Everybody played their part well, and the finish made Orton look strong. Mick should rewatch this. He is notoriously hard on himself, but I enjoyed this.

Winners: Evolution (17:02)

They recap the Hall of Fame ceremony before the Fink welcomes Mean Gene. Gene introduces the class as they join him on the stage. They inducted Superstar Billy Graham, Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Big John Studd, Don Muraco, Greg Valentine, the Junkyard Dog, Harley Race, Jesse Ventura, and Bobby Heenan. Pete Rose also entered the celebrity wing. Heenan gave an emotional speech but wished Gorilla Monsoon was there to hear him.

Now, it’s time for the Playboy Evening Gown Match. The fight can only end in a pinfall or submission, despite the name. Cole and Tazz will call the action because they won a coin toss. When the participants arrive, Sable says the dress makes her uncomfortable and restricted. She asks the fans if starting the contest without the gowns is okay. The crowd says yes, so Sable asks Jack Down to help her out of her clothes. Everyone else, except Jackie Gayda, follows suit. Stacy yells at Jackie for not cooperating, so Sable yanks Jackie into the ring and rips off her dress.

Playboy Evening Gown Match: Torrie Wilson & Sable vs. Stacy Keibler & Miss Jackie

Storyline: Stacy started hanging out with Jackie Gayda and Rico. She thought Playboy should choose her and Jackie to do a shoot together instead of Sable and Torrie. Then Stacy and Jackie complained to Bischoff when they caught Cade and Jindrak looking at Sable and Torrie’s magazine issue. Bischoff told them to call Hugh Hefner if they had a problem. So, Stacy and Jackie said they wouldn’t take this lying down. They interrupted Vince McMahon to voice their displeasure. He booked this match because they danced for him. Later, the participants showed off their evening gowns on RAW and Smackdown. Meanwhile, Johnny Spade offered to help Stacy and Jackie against Sable and Torrie.

The Match: Jackie shoves Sable, but Sable pushes her into the corner, hits a snapmare, and tags Torrie. Torrie performs a flying crossbody onto Jackie, so Stacy tags. Stacy cartwheels through a snapmare, catches Torrie with her legs, and chokes Torrie with her foot. Soon, Torrie’s sunset flip leads to traded pin attempts. Now, Jackie returns, but Torrie tackles her. They roll over the referee, so Jackie complains about him being in the way. Once the argument ends, Jackie rolls Torrie up, but Torrie reverses the move for the pin. She tries to rip Jackie’s thong for good measure after the bell.

Thoughts: They kept this short and did some amusing spots. It wasn’t as bad as I expected. In fact, it was almost fun. This was a cool-down after the previous bout, so it served its purpose.

Winners: Torrie Wilson & Sable (2:33)

Next, they talk about the international fans attending WrestleMania, and we get comments from some of them.

Elsewhere, Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit prepare for their matches. Eddie tells Benoit he is proud of him no matter what, but Benoit takes offense when Eddie implies he might not win. Eddie says this is the biggest night of Benoit’s career, but he’s facing HBK and Triple H. No one expects him to succeed. This comment angers Benoit even more. He yells at Eddie. Benoit says he believes in himself, and that’s all that matters. He’s proud of Eddie for winning his championship, but tonight is Benoit’s night. Eddie says to take it easy. This reaction is what he wanted. He needed to see that fire in Benoit’s eyes. The wolverine will tear HBK and Hunter apart and capture the World Title. They believe they will walk out as champions.

Afterward, Chimel explains the rules of the Cruiserweight Open. It works like a Turmoil Match. Two men will start, and you eliminate people by pin or submission. They decided on the order randomly, except for Chavo. He will enter last. The announcement leads to the entrances. They cut out Ultimo Dragon’s stumble. Also, Mysterio wears a costume designed to look like the Flash. Ultimo and Shannon Moore will begin the contest.

Participants: Chavo Guerrero (w/ Chavo Sr.), Jamie Noble, Tajiri, Akio, Funaki, Shannon Moore, Billy Kidman, Ultimo Dragon, & Rey Mysterio.

Cruiserweight Open for the Cruiserweight Title

Storyline: Rey wanted a rematch with Chavo. Heyman granted Rey’s request but gave Mysterio the night off and warned him not to interfere in Chavo vs. Eddie. Chavo received a shot at Eddie’s WWE Title with Chavo Sr. as the ref. However, Angle knocked Chavo Sr. out backstage and took over as the official to screw with Eddie. Plus, Rey returned to prevent Chavo Senior’s interference. Then Rey had to earn his shot against Noble, Nunzio, and Kidman. Rey won, but Heyman voided the victory and created this Cruiserweight Open instead. Worse yet, he had Tajiri’s gang attack everyone because Heyman struck a business deal with them. The Chavos didn’t like this situation. They complained about Chavo having to defend against all these men. Meanwhile, Rey, Kidman, Ultimo Dragon, and Funaki banded together against Tajiri’s crew and Noble. Nunzio and Moore even joined the fray when a wild brawl erupted.

The Match: Ultimo and Shannon do chain wrestling before Moore misses a corkscrew moonsault. Dragon eliminates him with a flipping reverse DDT and faces off with Jamie Noble. Soon, Noble dispatches Ultimo with a guillotine choke after Dragon can’t hit a moonsault. Funaki begins his turn with a flying crossbody, which Noble reverses for a quick three. Nunzio comes next. He trades pin attempts with Noble, but they end up on the floor. They pull each other off the apron. Noble climbs back into the ring, but the referee counts Nunzio out. The decision pisses off Nunzio, so he retaliates. While they fight, Kidman arrives and performs a springboard SSP on them. Inside, Kidman evades Noble’s guillotine choke and beats him with a super BK Bomb.

Now, Kidman wrestles Mysterio. They also scuffle on the top rope, and Rey gets rid of Kidman with a super sunset bomb. Rey meets Tajiri afterward. Tajiri uses the Tarantula and a handspring elbow. When Rey answers with a 619, Akio interferes. He holds Rey, but Tajiri accidentally hits Akio with the mist. The distraction allows Rey to roll Tajiri up. Akio can’t compete because he’s blinded, so Chavo enters the contest. Rey does a drop toe hold and a springboard hurricanrana before taking out Chavo Sr. with a baseball slide. Mysterio wants to dive onto Chavo Sr., but the ref stands in the way. Nevertheless, Rey leaps over him to take out the elder Chavo. With Chavo Sr. down, Rey tries a slingshot sunset flip. Chavo counters it and grabs his dad’s hand for leverage to win.

Thoughts: This wasn’t great, but it was fun. They kept the action flowing and did a few impressive spots. Furthermore, they weaved nice little storytelling elements into it. The stuff with Tajiri and Chavo worked well. This accomplished what it needed to do. The crowd’s weak reaction was the only shame.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero (10:27)

Next, it’s time for Goldberg vs. Lesnar. Austin will referee the bout, so he comes out on his ATV before the competitors. The crowd quickly turns on Lesnar and Goldberg because they know both men are leaving WWE. Lesnar wanted to try out for the NFL. The fans flip Lesnar off and tell him he sold out. They even sing “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye.”

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Storyline: Vince suspended Goldberg because Goldberg attempted to spear him. The problem was that Vince moved, and Goldberg hit Austin instead. Vince also blamed Bischoff for Goldberg’s actions at No Way Out. So Vince challenged Eric to a fight, and Austin made himself the ref. But Austin didn’t stop there. He threatened Vince until McMahon agreed to book Goldberg vs. Lesnar with Austin as the referee. While Vince and Eric battled, Lesnar attacked Austin and gave him an F5. Later, Brock stole Austin’s ATV and took it to Smackdown. Austin went to Smackdown to retrieve the ATV. Heyman tried to rally the locker room to prevent Austin from entering the arena, but everybody parted and let Austin through. Austin and Lesnar brawled, and Austin bloodied Brock before claiming his ATV. Meanwhile, Austin promised to stun Brock or Goldberg if they touched him during this contest.

The Match: They stall before performing long lock-ups. Headlocks and shoulder blocks follow while the fans say the match sucks. Eventually, we see a double down. When they rise, Goldberg hits a gorilla press into a spear. He tries a second spear and crashes into the corner. Now, Brock sends Goldberg into the post. Inside, he puts Goldberg in a head and arm lock twice. Goldberg keeps breaking them with hip locks. After another double down, Brock drives him into the corner. Goldberg answers with a twisting neckbreaker and a spear. They only gain two, so Goldberg argues with Austin. The distraction allows Brock to nail an F5, which gets two. Brock complains to Austin before looking to spear Goldberg. Lesnar misses, so Goldberg finishes him with a spear and Jackhammer.

Thoughts: This was dull. I don’t think it’s as bad as people say, but this still wasn’t great. They knew they would receive a bad reaction because of the rumors, so I almost want to admire how they trolled the crowd. The issue was that the action still bored me. As for the audience, they overreacted to Brock and Goldberg leaving WWE. Wrestlers may have aspirations outside of wrestling. There’s no need to get up in arms about this.

Winner: Goldberg (13:41)

Austin raises Goldberg’s arm before Goldberg celebrates. While Bill poses, Lesnar flips off the crowd and Austin. He takes a Stunner for his disrespect. Then Austin calls for beers and offers one to Goldberg. Austin and Goldberg pose, and Austin toasts him. However, Austin follows the toast with a Stunner to Goldberg.

Meanwhile, fireworks explode outside MSG. Plus, they announce WrestleMania 21 will take place in Los Angeles. Vince enters the arena after the announcement and thanks the fans for making WWE what it is today.

Sudden Death Fatal 4-Way for the WWE Tag Team Titles: Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty (c) vs. The APA vs. The Basham Brothers vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team

Storyline: Rikishi and Scotty faced the APA in a non-title bout, but the Bashams distracted Rikishi and Scotty and cost them the victory. Then Danny Basham cheated to defeat Scotty. Meanwhile, the World’s Greatest Tag Team continued their issues with Faarooq and Bradshaw. They dressed like them, drank beers, and smoked cigars. Haas and Benjamin even sang a song called “APA is Crap.” (Curt Hennig would be proud.) This caused a brawl with the APA, but Rikishi and Scotty intervened. Later, the Bashams tried to use twin magic to beat Rikishi and Scotty. Their attempt failed. Rikishi hit a superkick for the three.

The Match: Bradshaw and Shelton battle until Doug Basham tags himself in. The Bashams attack Benjamin with suplexes, so Haas gives Danny a cheap shot and enters the fray. Shelton slams Danny onto Haas’ knee, but Danny answers with a jawbreaker. Now, Scotty joins the fun. He dances, decks Haas and Benjamin, and skins the cat when they throw him out. The problem is that Haas and Benjamin catch him and perform their tandem back splash. Soon, Scotty escapes a bear hug and rolls Haas up, but Danny tags back in and jumps Scotty.

The Bashams give Scotty a double suplex and perform a double kip-up. They also prevent Scotty’s tag as long as possible, but Scotty gets it. Rikishi cleans house. He takes out Haas and Benjamin with a double clothesline and plants Danny with a DDT. Faarooq breaks up the pin before scuffling on the floor with Scotty. While they fight, Rikishi blocks a German and sends Shelton outside with a butt bump. A Stink Face on Haas follows, but Bradshaw goes after Rikishi. Bradshaw launches Doug onto everyone with the Last Call. He continues with a Clothesline from Hell on Danny, but Rikishi floors Bradshaw with a Samoan Drop. With Bradshaw out of the way, Rikishi sits on Danny for the pin.

Thoughts: This was okay but forgettable, much like the earlier four-way. The difference was that this one didn’t have a hot crowd. I’m glad everybody got their Mania payday, but this amounted to little.

Winners: Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty (6:01)

Next, they air a video hyping Edge’s return.

Then Jesse Ventura appears. He says it wouldn’t be WrestleMania if he didn’t interview somebody. Jesse scans the crowd and spots Donald Trump. He interviews him. Trump talks about working with Vince since WrestleMania IV. Donald thought Vince was doing a good job with WWE, so he came to WrestleMania with his son. Jesse says that’s great, but it’s time to get to the personal stuff. Jesse is thinking about getting back into politics. He asks Trump for moral and financial support, and Trump says yes. So, Jesse says they should put a wrestler in the White House in 2008.

Ironically, this leads to a shot of the barber for the next contest. Molly Holly will face Victoria for the Women’s Title. If Molly loses, they will shave her head. JR mentions Trump’s hair when they show the barber. (Did JR see the future?)

Hair vs. Title for the Women’s Title: Victoria (c) vs. Molly Holly

Storyline: Victoria pinned Molly during a tag encounter. Then Victoria and Stevie faced Molly and Test, but they threw the match out when things got out of control. Worse yet, Victoria beat Molly again during a mixed tag. But the tipping point came during a four-way for the Women’s Title. Molly defended against Victoria, Lita, and Jazz. Victoria eliminated Molly before winning the gold by pinning Lita. A frustrated Molly attacked Lita. Later, Jazz abandoned Molly during a team encounter because they argued. Molly snapped. She dragged Victoria around by the hair and ripped out chunks. Afterward, Molly demanded a rematch with Victoria. Bischoff agreed, but Austin suggested they make this hair vs. title. Molly told Austin she didn’t want to look like some bald freak. Lastly, Molly cheated to pin Lita and ambushed her, so Victoria saved Lita.

The Match: Molly attacks with knees and choking, but she regroups when Victoria kips up and rolls her up for two. Victoria misses a baseball slide, so Molly clotheslines her. Now, Molly follows with a snap suplex, elbow drops, a low dropkick, and a neck vice. Soon, Victoria escapes and gets yanked to the mat. She rebounds with a jackknife pin and a powerslam. Undaunted, Molly responds with a drop toe hold. Molly climbs only to get caught on the top rope. They scuffle until Molly performs a slow sunset bomb that baffles JR. The move only gains two, so Molly attempts Victoria’s Widow’s Peak. Victoria turns it into a backslide for three.

Thoughts: There wasn’t much to this, but it was more about getting to the aftermath than anything. The action wasn’t bad, and I liked the ending, but this lacked substance. However, I have to give Molly credit. She pitched the head-shaving idea to make sure this made it onto the WrestleMania card. Kudos to her for sacrificing her hair for women’s wrestling. That is a dedication to her craft.

Winner: Victoria (4:52)

Molly tries to escape. Victoria chases her, but it’s a trap. Molly attacks when they reach the stage, attempting to cut Victoria’s hair. Thankfully, Victoria sprays hairspray into Molly’s eyes and rams her against the table to knock her out. With Molly dazed, Victoria straps her into the barber’s chair and starts shaving Molly’s head. Molly screams and squirms when she wakes up and realizes what is happening. Then, they recap the Angle/Guerrero feud. After the video ends, we see Molly is almost bald. A few fans say they want Victoria to give her a mullet.

WWE Title Match: Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Kurt Angle

Storyline: Angle jumped Chavo Sr. and made himself the referee during Eddie vs. Chavo. However, he wasn’t there to help. Angle refused to count a pinfall and beat Eddie up until he was bloody. Angle explained his actions. He said he did it for the fans. They couldn’t have a drug addict representing the WWE! Eddie tried to retaliate. He knocked Dawn Marie over and ambushed Angle, so Heyman had him arrested. This fueled Angle’s case against Eddie. Angle called him a poison seeping through the moral fiber of America. Heyman and Angle wanted Eddie to apologize. Eddie obliged, but he said he was lying. Then Heyman goaded Eddie into fighting him with his hands cuffed. During the bout, Angle attacked Eddie with a taped fist and a belt shot. Eddie called Angle out, but Angle didn’t show, so Eddie vowed to lie, cheat, and steal even more!

The Match: They trade takedowns, knockdowns, mat wrestling, and holds. Soon, Eddie backdrops Angle out of a front facelock and grabs arm submissions, but Kurt answers with an ab stretch. Now, they block suplexes until they end up on the apron. Angle wants to do a German off the side of the ring, but Eddie knocks him down. Eddie seeks a flying plancha only to crash on the barricade as Kurt moves. The mistake hurts Eddie’s ribs, so Angle targets the injury with bodyscissors and suplexes. Kurt tries a super belly-to-belly, but Eddie sends him to the mat. Unfortunately for Eddie, he can’t land the Frog Splash.

Kurt keeps knocking Eddie down, but Eddie asks for more. Eddie also counters Angle Slams with an arm drag and a DDT. Afterward, Eddie turns anklelocks into pin attempts. Eventually, Eddie nails the Frog Splash, but it only earns two! Eddie reacts with shock, so Kurt uses the opening to hook an anklelock. This time, Eddie flings him through the ropes. Eddie unties his boot to relieve the pressure, but this is a trick. Angle performs another anklelock, and the boot slips off. Eddie rolls a confused Angle up for a three.

Thoughts: This was amazing. They slowly built to a crescendo, and I loved that finish. This had great pacing. They didn’t rush and took everybody for a ride. The slow start didn’t lose the crowd because they appreciated the effort. Plus, the audience reacted well to the ending.

Winner: Eddie Guerrero (21:00)

Now, it’s time for Kane vs. the Undertaker. Kane enters the arena, and the lights go out. We hear Paul Bearer say, “Oh, yes!” Then, druids appear with torches. (The hem of one of their robes catches fire, but someone quickly puts this out.) When Bearer sees Kane, he says, “You’re no son of mine!” Bearer kisses the urn before Taker’s old music plays. Biker Taker is no more. The Undertaker returns with his deadman persona, but Kane can’t believe his eyes. He says he buried Taker alive and killed him. Kane says this isn’t real.

The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. Kane

Storyline: Bubba Ray wanted revenge for what Kane did to Spike at the Royal Rumble. Kane won, but a creepy video played hyping the Undertaker’s return. This happened a few more times, costing Kane victories. Kane told whoever was messing with him to stop it. He knew it couldn’t be Taker because he buried him alive. However, the footage aired again, and Kane found himself showered in purple light and rain. The mind games got to Kane. He told Vince he couldn’t sleep, so Vince booked Kane vs. Taker for Mania. But the strange occurrences escalated. Lightning struck, and somebody lowered flaming Undertaker symbols from the ceiling. Then, someone left a casket and dirt in the ring. When Kane investigated, he discovered the urn inside. As he examined the urn, the ring lifted and rocked back and forth, knocking Kane over.

The Match: Kane regroups when Taker throws wild punches, but Taker follows. Taker whips Kane into the side of the ring and performs his apron leg drop. Afterward, Taker hits corner clotheslines and attempts the Last Ride. Kane blocks this and lands a hotshot and a big boot. Taker answers with mounted punches before intimidating the ref. Unfortunately, Kane capitalizes on the momentary distraction. He nails a side slam and a flying clothesline. Taker responds with a big boot, but Kane catches him by the throat when Taker does Old School. Taker and Kane choke each other until Kane scores a chokeslam. The problem is that he stops to taunt Paul Bearer, so Taker sits up. Taker fights back, fends off Kane’s counterattack, and floors Kane with a jumping clothesline. A chokeslam and the Tombstone earn Taker the three.

Thoughts: This was more about the spectacle and the return than the action itself. It was a decent big-man match, but this wasn’t overly thrilling. Nevertheless, they accomplished their goal. Plus, they kept this the right length. This felt fine for what it was.

Winner: The Undertaker (7:46)

Triple Threat Match for the World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Triple H (c) vs. Shawn Michaels

Storyline: Austin believed Michaels deserved a rematch after the Royal Rumble. However, Benoit defected to RAW to fight for the World Title. Heyman threatened to sue, but Benoit used a loophole. Shawn still wanted his shot, so Austin told him to do something about it. They held a contract signing for Benoit vs. Hunter, but Shawn interrupted. He needed to finish things with Hunter. Benoit told him it would have to be later, so Shawn superkicked Benoit and signed the contract. When everyone demanded Bischoff fix this mess, he booked Benoit vs. HBK. Hunter cost Benoit the win and attacked Shawn, so Austin announced this triple threat. (I thought he couldn’t make matches.) Meanwhile, Shawn and Benoit saved each other from Evolution, but the camaraderie didn’t continue. Benoit put Shawn in a Crossface because he thought Shawn had jumped him. Plus, they scuffled after a miscommunication during a tag encounter.

The Match: Benoit and Shawn knock Hunter out and exchange pin attempts. When Hunter returns, Shawn accidentally low-bridges Benoit before scuffling with Triple H. Soon, they brawl outside, and Shawn does a moonsault on his opponents. Inside, Hunter can’t hit a Pedigree, but he traps Benoit in a tree of woe and whips Shawn into him. Shawn fights back, and Benoit performs rolling Germans on Hunter. Nevertheless, Hunter responds with a DDT on Shawn and a superplex to Benoit. Now, Shawn tries to give Benoit rolling Germans and pays for it when he takes a flying headbutt. Undaunted, Shawn recovers and nails Hunter with Sweet Chin Music. As Shawn covers, Benoit pulls Triple H out.

Benoit’s actions cause a scuffle between Benoit and Shawn. Chris bloodies Shawn with a catapult into the post and locks him in the Crossface. It looks like Shawn will tap, but Hunter grabs his hand. Fighting outside follows. They clear the announcer’s tables, and Shawn and Hunter suplex Benoit onto the Spanish desk. In the ring, Shawn whips Hunter up and over the ropes. He lands on a cameraman, and Shawn busts Hunter open. The wound doesn’t stop Hunter from scoring a Pedigree, but Benoit breaks up the cover at the last moment. Benoit puts Hunter in a Sharpshooter, so Shawn stops it with a superkick. When Shawn seeks another, Benoit backdrops him to the floor. Benoit also counters Hunter’s Pedigree into a Crossface. Triple H can’t reach the ropes. He wants to roll into a pin, but it places them in the center of the ring, where Hunter taps.

Thoughts: This was incredible. I liked how they slowly built the drama and tension. They had some nice close calls and last-second saves. Better yet, the crowd came alive again after losing steam in the middle of the show. They structured this perfectly.

Winner: Chris Benoit (New Champion) (24:40)

Benoit cries as Hebner hands him the belt. He poses on the turnbuckles, but Benoit notices Eddie Guerrero in the ring when he turns around. Eddie applauds and hugs Benoit while confetti falls from the ceiling. JR talks about Benoit’s 18-year journey to this moment as Benoit and Eddie continue celebrating together. (They edited out the part where Nancy and Daniel join Benoit in the ring for obvious reasons.)

The Good:

• The main event

• Angle vs. Guerrero

• Christian vs. Jericho

• Evolution vs. Rock ‘n’ Sock Connection

The Bad:

• Goldberg vs. Lesnar

• The forgettable tag title matches

Performer of the Night:

I will ignore the obvious choice for the reason you would expect. Instead, I’ll give this to Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero. They had an amazing match with a great finish.

Final Thoughts:

This was a really strong Mania. Sure, the middle of the card had some forgettable contests, but most of the big matches delivered. Plus, this had a happy ending, even though what happened later ruined this. The PPV contained enough fine action and memorable moments to make it enjoyable.

Thank you for reading. My next review is Backlash 2004. Look for it next Sunday!