Judgment Day 2003

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Judgment Day

May 18, 2003

Charlotte Coliseum

Charlotte, North Carolina

News & Notes: Bischoff continued to abuse his power after Backlash. He placed Trish in a match where she had to sleep with him if he lost, and Victoria and Jazz attacked Trish to help him win. However, Linda McMahon showed up before Bischoff could act on the stipulation. Eric claimed he was only joking when he saw her, but it was too late. Linda and the board of directors decided Bischoff was out of control, so they appointed a co-general manager to keep him in line. That man was Stone Cold Steve Austin!

Austin wasted no time in taking over half of Bischoff’s office. He even hung his portrait on the wall and ordered cases of beer for a beer bash. Then Austin rehired JR, but Bischoff fired him again. They agreed on a compromise. Morley faced Lawler with JR’s job at stake. JR shoved Morley off the ropes, and Lawler won! Meanwhile, Morley suspended the Dudleys for their actions at the PPV, but Austin reinstated them. Afterward, Austin booked the Dudleys vs. 3-Minute Warning. The Dudleys put 3MW through tables at Freddie Blassie’s request.

The PPV: They reuse almost the same opening as last year. We again see the Undertaker’s return vignette from 2000 mixed with images of gallows. A creepy female voice talks about dreams, deeds, and destiny. Triple H vows to chew Nash up and spit him out, but Nash says Hunter is a dead man. Then we hear about the Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar in a Stretcher Match, which Stephanie calls it the business’s most barbaric and brutal match. (I don’t know about that.) Meanwhile, Mr. America swears he isn’t Hulk Hogan, but Vince asks what he’s going to do when Vincent Kennedy McMahon runs wild on him. Now, the narrator asks if you have lived a good life. Are you proud of who you are, or does fear cripple you? Will you accept your fate? Judgment Day is upon us, so may god have mercy on everyone’s souls!

Next, fireworks explode while JR welcomes everybody to Charlotte and Judgment Day. He calls the environment raucous before sending things down to Cole and Tazz at ringside. They discuss the card, and Tazz calls Lesnar vs. Big Show a rocket busta!

While they speak, Austin’s music plays. Austin greets all his hell-raising redneck fans, but he says he isn’t there to cut a long-winded promo. They have a lot of badass matches tonight, so Austin welcomes everyone to the show. Austin is the co-GM of RAW, but he wants to watch the event like everybody else. However, he won’t do it in a locker, chair, bathroom, or closet. Austin wants to sit in redneck Heaven, which is his personal sky box. He is there to drink beer, raise hell, and have a damn good time. After that, Austin toasts a beer with Tazz and heads to his box.

The first contest is a six-man tag. Cena arrives in a Kansas City Royals throwback jersey and raps about his opponents. He says he has family ties with the FBIs. Cena will have people cheering the bad guys like a mafia movie. Plus, he threatens to make people swim with the fishes in concrete shoes because he’s the new John Gotti and Corleone. Lastly, he says the fans’ girls like Italian sausage because they swallowed his dick, but he stops himself short of saying the last word. When Benoit, Rhyno, and Spanky come to the ring, Cena and the FBI bail outside, so Spanky does a somersault plancha onto them.

John Cena & The F.B.I. (Chuck Palumbo & Johnny Stamboli) (w/ Nunzio) vs. Chris Benoit, Rhyno, & Spanky

Storyline: Kendrick interrupted one of Cena’s raps, dressed as a rapper to mock Cena. Brian officially dubbed himself Spanky and taunted Cena about his loss to Lesnar, so Cena gave Brian the FU. Meanwhile, Benoit had a match against Johnny “the Bull” Stamboli, but they turned it into a tag encounter because the FBI interfered. Benoit and Rhyno fought Palumbo and Stamboli. The problem was that Rhyno gored Johnny into Benoit, breaking up his pin, which allowed the FBI to win. Later, these two feuds crossed when Cena wrestled Rhyno. Spanky prevented Cena from using a chain, and Rhyno succeeded. Cena chased Spanky afterward and narrowly avoided a Gore. Lastly, Cena faced Benoit. The FBI kept helping Cena until it caused a DQ. When the FBI attacked Benoit, Spanky and Rhyno intervened.

The Match: Cena and the FBI take control of Spanky quickly. They beat him down in their corner and double-team him. Chuck and Johnny plant Spanky with a double powerbomb before Palumbo uses bear hugs. He treats Spanky like a rag doll until Spanky sends Chuck into Johnny with a headscissors. Now, Benoit tags and cleans house with suplexes while Rhyno takes Johnny outside. Benoit also lands a flying headbutt on Palumbo, so Nunzio interferes and eats a Gore. Rhyno’s intervention brings Cena and Johnny in for an attack. As things break down, Spanky makes a blind tag and nails Chuck with a missile dropkick. A Sliced Bread #2 attempt follows, but Nunzio grabs Spanky’s leg. The distraction allows the FBI to finish Kendrick with the Kiss of Death (a guillotine leg drop version of Demolition’s Decapitator). They pin him while Benoit has Cena in a Crossface.

Thoughts: What we got was fun, but they didn’t give it any time. Based on what we saw, this would have been great. I’ll credit them for doing nice spots in the little window they had, but the length renders this forgettable.

Winners: John Cena & The FBI (3:55)

Bischoff enters Austin’s suite while Austin orders a hot dog. Eric says they are co-general managers, so half of everything in the box is his. Austin says he didn’t invite Eric, but that doesn’t matter to Bischoff. So, Austin offers him a beer and a hot dog. When Eric scoffs at the offer and asks for scotch, Austin accuses him of not appreciating his hospitality. Eventually, Eric accepts the food and drink, but he wants the lady to open his beer and pour it into a cup. Austin calls him a sissy when he hears this and opens the can for Eric. Then he toasts him, spilling beer all over Bischoff’s clothes.

Now, it’s time for La Resistance vs. Scott Steiner and Test. Grenier and Dupree arrive first and cut a promo. They want to know why the American fans hate them. Isn’t America a melting pot? Renee thinks the American government is encouraging people to hate France because America promotes hatred. He says Americans are barbarians, but he invites them to marvel at what they do to their opponents. His invitation leads to the entrances for Steiner and Test. Test grows angry when Stacy shows too much attention to Steiner.

La Resistance vs. Scott Steiner & Test (w/ Stacy Keibler)

Storyline: Test wanted to get out of the doghouse with Stacy, so he reluctantly teamed with Steiner at her request. They couldn’t coexist. Test and Steiner argued, had random posedowns, and cost each other wins accidentally. However, a common enemy united them. La Resistance debuted by attacking Steiner. They didn’t like the comments about France Steiner made during his debate with Nowinski. Later, La Resistance hit on Stacy backstage before their match. They wrestled Dreamer and Spike and beat them up afterward. So, Steiner and Test brawled with La Resistance. Finally, Sylvain and Rene teamed up with Nowinski because he was the only American they liked. They faced Steiner, Test, and Goldust, and Steiner pinned Nowinski.

The Match: Rene slaps Test and does his French Tickler dance, so Test and Steiner make him pay for it. Scott does push-ups while toying with Rene, but a cheap shot by Grenier turns the tide. La Resistance double-teams Scott and uses a rear chinlock, but Steiner surprises a leaping Dupree with a suplex and tags out. Then Test cleans house with clotheslines, a side slam, and a full nelson slam. He even seeks a big boot, so Grenier pulls the official in the way to halt Test.

Nevertheless, Test dons Rene’s beret and fends off double-teaming and cheating. Steiner neutralizes Rene, which allows Test to plant Sylvain with a pumphandle powerslam. The problem is that the referee focuses on getting Steiner out of the ring instead of the pin. Stacy complains about the ref, so Grenier dropkicks Test into her and rolls Test up for two. The attack sends Stacy into Steiner’s arms, but he puts her down to go after La Resistance. Now, Scott gives Grenier a Flatliner and tries to Tiger Bomb Rene. Sylvain stops him, so Test targets him with a big boot. It strikes Steiner mistakenly, and Sylvain shoves Test into the post. With Test down, La Resistance finishes Steiner with a double spinebuster.

Thoughts: This was messy. They tried to do too much, and it became hard to follow the action. I had to rewind multiple times to write my notes. My dislike of this storyline and gimmick didn’t help matters, either.

Winners: La Resistance (6:20)

Stacy checks on Steiner, so Test freaks out when he sees her touching Scott. He grabs her by the arm to lead her away, but Stacy pulls free and returns to Steiner’s side. Her actions only make Test angrier, so he drags her down the aisle. JR wonders if Test will ask her to make biscuits next.

Meanwhile, Mr. America arrives, so ace reporter Gregory Helms stops him for an interview. Gregory says his sources claim that Mr. America is secretly Hulk Hogan. What’s up with that!? Hogan turns the tables after Helms’ question. His sources tell him Gregory is a superhero underneath his Armani suit. When Helms hears Mr. America’s reply, he admits his sources are idiots. Mr. America is who he says he is. The rebuttal appeases Mr. America, so he tells Gregory his sources are also idiots. Mr. America says, “Good luck with your reporting, brother!” They shake hands, and Helms smiles.

Elsewhere, Josh Matthews interviews Eddie Guerrero. Josh says Team Angle gave Eddie two choices. He can face them in a handicap fight or forfeit the match. Eddie sarcastically calls them considerate, but he says they forgot option three. He has the right to find another partner. Eddie says finding someone to take Chavo’s place proved difficult. He had to find somebody crazy and not all there, so he chose Tajiri! Eddie puts one of Kurt’s medals around Tajiri’s neck when he enters. Then Eddie wants Tajiri to tell Josh what he taught him about Guerrero family traditions. Tajiri says, “We lie, cheat, and steal, Ese!” When Eddie hears this, he dedicates their bout to Chavito.

Ladder Match for the WWE Tag Team Titles: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri vs. Team Angle (c)

Storyline: Team Angle demanded that Stephanie return their belts from Los Guerreros. She berated Team Angle for letting Eddie and Chavo steal them instead. Then she booked this Ladder Match. Later, Team Angle retrieved the titles, so Los Guerreros took the Angle portrait. When Haas and Benjamin reclaimed their property, Eddie swiped it again with the gold medals. This time, Eddie wore the medals and defaced Angle’s photo by drawing a beard. Afterward, Eddie wrestled Benjamin. Haas distracted Eddie with a ladder to help Shelton win, so Eddie broke the Angle picture over Shelton’s head. Unfortunately, Team Angle injured Chavo during an overseas tour and bragged about it. They said Eddie could face them alone or forfeit the bout.

The Match: Team Angle takes out Eddie in the aisle and double-teams Tajiri. They do the same to Eddie when he enters the ring. Then Team Angle fetches a ladder, so Eddie backdrops Tajiri onto them, but Tajiri trips over the ropes. Thankfully, Tajiri recovers and stops Team Angle’s ascent with a handspring elbow to the ladder! Eddie and Tajiri capitalize by baseball sliding the ladder into Shelton and Charlie. They get Charlie in the crotch. Eddie and Tajiri even sandwich Haas in the ladder with a slingshot senton. Tajiri climbs during the opening, but Shelton yanks him down, smacking Tajiri’s face on a rung. Now, Shelton powerslams Eddie on a ladder, and Team Angle hits a ladder-assisted tandem back splash on Tajiri.

Next, Eddie shoves the ladder over, sending Haas to the floor, but Shelton reverses Eddie into another ladder. Since Eddie is down, Tajiri attacks Team Angle. Tajiri clotheslines them with the ladder and dropkicks it into them. A Tarantula on Haas follows, so Shelton breaks it with a ladder. Eddie returns, but Team Angle double-teams him after an awkward pause. Undeterred, Eddie fends them off with a monkey flip and a suplex to the outside. The rally leads to fighting atop the ladder, and Eddie scores a Frog Splash on Shelton. Haas climbs while Eddie catches his breath, but Eddie floors him with a sunset bomb. The move frees Eddie to climb. Benjamin grabs his leg, so Tajiri sprays mist in Shelton’s face, allowing Eddie to collect the titles.

Thoughts: This was good despite some shaky moments. You could attribute some of it to Team Angle’s greenness, but Eddie and Tajiri flubbed some spots too. Also, this suffered from the lack of time on this PPV. They planned too many segments, so they had to cut minutes from each encounter. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed this.

Winners: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri (New Champions) (14:10)

Bischoff thinks they should sign Eddie and Tajiri, so he wants Austin to do his job and call them. Austin agrees about their talent. He takes his hat off to the match. Then Austin offers Eric a hamburger and more beer. The problem is that Eric keeps sipping the beer, so Austin tells him to do it again. He opens the window so the fans can see Bischoff. Since Bischoff can’t stop sipping, Austin shows him how to chug a beer. He asks the fans to give him a “hell, yeah” if they think Eric drinks beer like a sissy. The fans oblige, so Austin threatens to throw Eric out if he doesn’t chug.

Meanwhile, Terri offends Jericho when she asks about his chances of winning the battle royal. Jericho says he will walk away as the champion because he’s the highlight of the night! While Jericho says this, Roddy Piper confronts him. Jericho thinks Roddy took a wrong turn to his retirement home. He yells at Roddy, so Piper says he’s old, not deaf. Piper also mocks Jericho’s new interview show. He says, “Don’t you have to do something to have a highlight reel?” Jericho counters by talking about what happened on Smackdown. He says Roddy looked tough, ripping off a kid’s leg. Does Roddy want to fight some lepers and midgets backstage? Next, the comments escalate to fat jokes and insults about Jericho’s parents. Finally, they predict victories in their matches. Piper almost says they have something in common, but he stops and leaves.

Now, it’s time for the Intercontinental Title battle royal. The Fink explains the rules and introduces Pat Patterson to present the belt to the winner. Pat uses the same music they give Moolah, which has to be a rib on Pat. Afterward, Val Venis’ music plays, confusing the commentators. Bischoff fired Chief Morley, so JR says Austin must have reinstated him. He is correct. Bischoff complains to Austin when he sees Val in the ring. After Val does his dirty promo, we get the other participants. JR explains how each person won their first IC title, except Booker T. Austin added him to the contest even though Booker never captured the gold.

Participants: Christian, Lance Storm, Test, Kane, RVD, Val Venis, Goldust, Chris Jericho, & Booker T

Battle Royal for the Vacant Intercontinental Title

Storyline: Austin reinstated the Intercontinental Title and booked this battle royal. He invited any former Intercontinental champion to participate. Meanwhile, Jericho created a new interview segment called the Highlight Reel. He had Goldberg as his first guest, but Jericho brought out superstars, including Christian, who didn’t want Goldberg there. Christian started a feud with Goldberg and attacked him with a chair. So, Austin put Christian in a Cage Match with Goldberg. Austin threatened to pull Christian from the battle royal if he didn’t compete. Then Austin added Booker to the mix when Teddy Long said this bout needed a man of color. Plus, Kane and RVD joined after facing the LOD in a surprise encounter. Elsewhere, Bischoff fired Morley when Sean lost to Lawler, giving JR his job back. Despite this, Morley showed up for this contest, so Bischoff reminded him he was never the IC champ as Chief Morley.

The Match: Everybody gangs up on Kane. He fends them off and eliminates Storm, but they go after Kane again. This time, they throw him out. So, Kane returns and hands out chokeslams before leaving. Then Booker tosses Test, Goldust ousts Venis, and Jericho knocks RVD out with a triangle dropkick. The field comes down to Christian, Jericho, Goldust, and Booker. Jericho drops Booker with the Flashback, but Goldust hits Jericho and Christian with a double bulldog. Goldust scores Shattered Dreams on Christian and Jericho with Booker’s help. Booker follows with a sidekick and a Spinaroonie, but Goldust tries to dump Booker outside. He counters and sends Goldust packing.

Now, Booker fights against double-teaming until Christian nails a reverse DDT. When Jericho seeks a Lionsault afterward, Christian shoves Jericho to the floor! The betrayal makes Jericho pitch a fit. Back inside, Booker rallies and lands a wheel kick and flapjack but misses a heel kick. Unfortunately, Christian wipes out the official with an errant baseball slide. While the referee is down, Booker performs the scissors kick and hurls Christian out. They play Booker’s music, and Patterson almost enters the ring, but Christian stops him. Christian punches Pat, steals the belt, and smacks Booker with it. With Booker dazed, Christian throws him out. The ref wakes up and sees it, so he declares Christian as the winner.

Thoughts: They kept this short and did enough story and character work to keep it interesting. Usually, I don’t like battle royals, but I found this one enjoyable. Also, I liked the finish.

Winner: Christian (New Champion) (11:55)

Christian’s victory and celebration disgust JR, but Lawler says Christian is the new People’s Champion. Ross says only Christian thinks that.

Elsewhere, Sable approaches Torrie and says she really shouldn’t be nervous. Torrie thanks her sarcastically and says she isn’t nervous. Then Sable says she should be nervous. (Make up your mind, Sable!) After all, Sable has never lost a bikini contest, but Torrie didn’t win the Sable Invitational. Once she says this, Sable asks to use Torrie’s oil. Sable rubs it on her legs and tells Torrie to use some. She will need all the help she can get. Torrie says they will see about that. Meanwhile, Tazz claims Lawler offered him a crown full of money to host the competition, but Tazz declined.

The segment brings us to Sable vs. Torrie. Lilian Garcia performs a live version of Torrie’s theme during her entrance.

Bikini Challenge: Torrie Wilson vs. Sable

Storyline: Sable started hitting on Torrie again after Backlash, but Torrie yelled at Sable about the drama Sable caused during the PPV. Then they booked Sable and Torrie vs. Dawn and Nidia, but Torrie refused to team up with Sable. However, Sable threatened to have Torrie beaten up if Sable didn’t get what she wanted. When the match happened, Sable wouldn’t tag Torrie, and Torrie tapped out to Dawn’s half crab. Later, Torrie wrestled Dawn while Sable watched. Torrie won, so Sable challenged Torrie to participate in this bikini contest. Torrie stripped to her bra and accepted the encounter.

The Match: Tazz explains the rules. They have fifteen seconds to show off their bikinis and their booties. Tazz tells them to do the shake-and-bake deal, and North Cackalacky will choose the victor. Sable goes first because Tazz prefers black. She unveils a tiny, tiger-striped swimsuit, which makes Lawler freak out. Even Tazz loses his train of thought, but he snaps out of it when he realizes he has his hand in his pocket. Next, Torrie takes her turn. She reveals a modest Playboy bikini. Torrie dances and spanks herself, but the fans clearly pick Sable. When Tazz calls it a tie despite the reaction, Torrie says there is more. She rips off the outer layer to uncover a smaller outfit, so Tazz declares her the winner. (Wasn’t the crowd supposed to decide?) Afterward, Torrie says she doesn’t want any hard feelings, so she kisses Sable.

Thoughts: Tazz kept this amusing, and this was what it was. My problem was this was more suited for TV than a PPV. Use it to pop a rating, but don’t take up PPV time. This was the main reason other bouts got cut short. I understand they had to do this as part of their deal with Playboy, but I didn’t care.

Winner: Torrie Wilson

Austin asks Bischoff if he has a cigarette after that segment. Eric says no, but he has a condom in his pocket. Bischoff also looks sick, so Austin tells him to eat some pizza to absorb the alcohol. Eric says he can’t eat any more junk food. He is sick to his stomach! So, Austin passes him pickles to eat, but he sneaks a pepper into the mix. Austin gives him the pickle juice, since the pepper burns Eric’s mouth. Unfortunately, after taking a sip, Bischoff spits it all over Austin’s portrait. Once Bischoff recovers, Austin hands him another beer. The drink spills onto Eric’s jacket.

Elsewhere, Piper complains about Jericho, so O’Haire tells him not to worry about him. Jericho didn’t win the battle royal. Besides, Piper needs to concentrate on tonight. As Sean speaks, Vince enters the room and shakes their hands. Vince asks Piper if he knows how much this night means to him. He chose Piper because Roddy has been the chosen one for years. Hogan took credit for putting WWE on the map, but there wouldn’t be a Hogan without Piper! Vince calls Piper the epitome and inventor of ruthless aggression. So Vince tells Piper to set Hogan up so he can reveal his identity to the world. Vince tells Piper he is counting on him and knows he can do it. Doing this takes a black-hearted, cold, calculating bastard. Vince thanks him in advance.

The entrances for Piper vs. Mr. America follow. Mr. America brings a chair, so Piper and O’Haire bail outside. After throwing his shirt at them, Mr. America introduces the fan they attacked on Smackdown. His name is Zach Gowen. Zach sits ringside for the bout. (Gowen is a one-legged indie wrestler WWE signed to a contract.)

Mr. America (w/ Zach Gowen) vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper (w/ Sean O’Haire)

Storyline: Stephanie hired Mr. America sight unseen because Bischoff also wanted him, but then she met him. A worried Stephanie tried to prevent Vince from attending his debut. Piper introduced Mr. America during Piper’s Pit, and Piper and Vince knew it was Hogan in disguise. However, Hogan appeared via satellite to show they were different people. Vince claimed Hogan was trying to collect two paychecks but couldn’t remove Mr. America’s mask to prove it. Meanwhile, a scuffle between Vince and Mr. America knocked Stephanie down and hurt her. So, Mr. America and Hogan sent her flowers, much to Vince’s chagrin. Later, Piper accepted an open contract to face Mr. America. A confrontation ensued, and Piper and O’Haire attacked a fan Mr. America invited to Smackdown. They discovered he only had one leg when they pulled off his prosthetic. O’Haire felt remorse, but Vince liked how Piper didn’t care.

The Match: Piper and O’Haire jump Mr. America, but the referee makes O’Haire leave. Then Piper distracts the ref so Sean can attack. Unfazed, Mr. America rams Roddy into the turnbuckles and does corner punches. He even lifts the mask momentarily to bite Piper. More O’Haire interference leads to brawling. Piper gets the weight belt and whips Mr. America, but Mr. America takes the strap while Roddy argues with the official. Mr. America returns the favor until Sean intervenes again. The distraction allows Piper to grab a sleeper hold. When Mr. America escapes, he hulks up, so Vince arrives. Piper throws a low blow while Mr. America yells at Vince. Plus, Vince occupies the ref and hands O’Haire a pipe, but Sean hits Roddy accidentally. Finally, Mr. America sends O’Haire outside and gives Piper the leg drop for three. Gowen holds Vince back during the pin.

Thoughts: This was a bout that benefited from having little time. Keeping this short was a wise idea. They did what they needed to, and it amused me slightly. This wasn’t great, but it was fine for what it was.

Winner: Mr. America (4:50)

Triple H heads toward the ring for his match, but Stephanie stops him. She looks concerned, while Hunter glares at her. Stephanie tells him to be careful out there, but Hunter doesn’t respond. He stares at her and walks away. JR calls it good advice. Lawler wonders if she means it.

Now, it’s time for Kevin Nash vs. Triple H. Shawn Michaels arrives to stand in Nash’s corner, and Flair is Hunter’s second. Flair and Michaels get separate entrances. However, Hebner ejects them when they join a Nash and Triple H brawl.

World Title Match: Kevin Nash vs. Triple H (c)

Storyline: Triple H and Flair received a tag title shot against RVD and Kane after Backlash. However, Nash showed up with a sledgehammer and chased Hunter away while Flair took the loss. Kevin followed Hunter backstage, where Hunter jumped in a limo, but Nash smashed the windows. Then Jericho had Hunter and Nash on the Highlight Reel. Kevin threw Jericho out, so Jericho gave him a low blow. Triple H tried to Pedigree Nash on a chair, but Kevin fended him off. A wild brawl ensued and spilled into the street. Triple H stole a car to escape. When Jericho laughed about the fight, Austin booked him against Nash. Meanwhile, Hurricane mocked Flair, so Ric fought him and refused to release a Figure Four. Hunter even Pedigreed the Hurricane. Finally, Triple H and Flair ambushed Nash during Nash vs. Jericho, but HBK intervened.

The Match: Nash rams Hunter into the steps and announcer’s table before rolling him inside. Hunter keeps regrouping, so Nash chases him. Kevin runs Hunter into the post and returns him to the ring for a big boot and multiple elbow drops. Now, Hunter uses an eye rake and pushes Hebner because Earl admonishes Hunter. Hunter also scores a swinging neckbreaker, but Nash fires back with clotheslines. Next, Nash won’t listen to Earl, so Hebner pulls him away by the hair. The distraction enables Hunter to roll outside and lead a chase. Unfortunately, Hunter hits Hebner as he springs his trap on Nash.

While Hebner recovers, Hunter throws a low blow and removes a turnbuckle pad. Nash counters when Hunter tries to use it and does a side slam and big boot. Kevin even seeks Snake Eyes on the exposed metal. He shoves Hebner when Earl looks to stop him, but this allows Hunter to send Nash into the buckle and nail a Pedigree. It only earns two, so Hunter complains to Hebner. Another Pedigree attempt follows, but Nash backdrops Triple H over the ropes. Sensing trouble, Hunter fetches the sledgehammer. Earl grabs it, so Hunter decks Hebner with the hammer to cause a DQ.

Thoughts: You know they’ve added too much to the show when Triple H’s contest gets limited time. Worse yet, they put a disappointing finish on an already dull encounter. The crowd voiced their displeasure as the bell rang. This was bad.

Winner: Kevin Nash (by DQ) (7:22)

Nash gives Triple H Snake Eyes on the uncovered buckle and drops him with a Jackknife. Then he grabs the hammer, so the officials pull Hunter outside. They lead Hunter down the aisle, but Nash attacks everyone and drags Hunter to JR and Lawler’s platform. Flair and Shawn Michaels try to stop Nash from doing something stupid, but he fends them off. Now, Nash plants Hunter on the announcer’s table with a second Jackknife.

Austin says that is what he is talking about. Nash took the initiative and showed that he was there. Meanwhile, Bischoff still feels sick, so Austin asks if they have jalapeños where he comes from in Minnesota. Eric says no. Upon hearing his response, Austin says many good things come from Minnesota, but Bischoff isn’t one of them. He’s a sorry son of a bitch! What does Eric have to say about that? Instead of answering, Bischoff pukes on the poor waitress. Austin asks what he is doing. He says Bischoff needs to clean up, so he dumps beer on him.

Fatal 4-Way for the Women’s Title: Jazz (c) (w/ Theodore Long) vs. Jacqueline vs. Trish Stratus vs. Victoria (w/ Steven Richards)

Storyline: Trish demanded a rematch with Jazz after watching Jazz and Teddy Long celebrate Jazz’s win with balloons. However, Bischoff told Trish she had to fight him for a title shot in a No DQ contest. If she lost, she had to sleep with him. The fight happened, and Jazz and Victoria helped Bischoff succeed, but Bischoff backtracked on the stipulation when Linda McMahon confronted him. Later, Trish received her opportunity against Jazz, but Jazz hit Trish with the belt to beat her. Meanwhile, Victoria wrestled Jacqueline on Heat and won with Richards’ help. Finally, Trish faced Victoria in a hardcore bout. Tommy Dreamer stood in Trish’s corner to neutralize Richards, and Trish pinned Victoria while the men fought outside.

The Match: Everybody brawls after Richards tries to trip Trish. Victoria and Jazz whip Trish and Jackie toward each other, but they perform a do-si-do and take them out. Then Jackie, Trish, and Victoria exchange takedowns until Victoria scores a spinning side slam on Jackie. Now, Jazz returns and Bitch Slams Victoria and Jackie. Jazz also evades Trish’s Chick Kicks and puts her in an STF. Not to be outdone, Jackie locks Victoria in a half crab.

Once Trish gets a rope break, Jazz knocks Jackie away and hooks Victoria in the STF. Trish breaks the hold, does a matrix dodge under one of Jazz’s attacks, and nails Jazz with a Chick Kick. As they fight, Jackie and Victoria scuffle on the top rope. Jackie blocks a superplex while Trish performs a Frankensteiner on Jazz. Since Jackie is still on the turnbuckles, Trish floors her with a handstand headscissors. A Stratusfaction attempt on Victoria follows, but Victoria shoves Trish over the ropes. Afterward, Jackie counters the Widow’s Peak into a northern lights, which Jazz stops with a splash. Finally, Jazz plants Jackie with a DDT for the victory.

Thoughts: This was another good showing by the women. Despite getting little time, they’re learning to make the most of their minutes. Sadly, they put them in the cooldown spot. The crowd didn’t care, but this was nice nonetheless.

Winner: Jazz (4:47)

Now, it’s time for the main event. Chimel explains the rules. You must place your opponent on the stretcher and wheel them past the yellow line at the entrance. Big Show carries the body board with him to the ring. He wrote the names of Mysterio and Lesnar on it, but Big Show crossed Mysterio’s name out. Cole and Tazz think Big Show can’t lose this because no stretcher can fit him.

Stretcher Match for the WWE Title: Brock Lesnar (c) vs. The Big Show

Storyline: Big Show continued to bully the cruiserweights after what he did to Mysterio at Backlash. He destroyed Funaki and intimidated others backstage. Brock Lesnar had enough. He confronted Show and challenged him. Show accepted, but only if the WWE Title was on the line. Brock was fine with this but wanted a Stretcher Match because of what Show did to Rey. Later, they booked Lesnar and Benoit vs. Show and A-Train. Show paid the FBI to block Lesnar in his locker room with a forklift, and Show faced Benoit alone. A-Train helped Show win. After Show and Train attacked Benoit, Brock escaped and rescued him. Brock gave Palumbo an F5 for revenge. So, Big Show snatched Rey from an interview and dragged him into the arena. Brock saved Rey and dropped Show with an F5 before Rey performed a bulldog on Show.

The Match: Lesnar takes the board and uses it on the Big Show. Then Brock sends Show into the post and rams the stretcher into his face. Show answers by press slamming Lesnar onto the stretcher. He even chokeslams Brock and places him on the gurney, but Brock kicks him away before they reach the line. After more back and forth, Brock wields the board again and chokes Show with a cable. He makes Big Show pass out, but the cable prevents Brock from pulling him down the aisle. Now, they fight at the entrance, and Brock hangs off the set to kick the Big Show. He also slams Show on the stretcher and drills it into his gut. A tug-of-war over the stretcher follows, but Big Show runs Brock into the side of the ring.

Big Show grows frustrated and wrecks the stretcher when it doesn’t put Brock down. He whacks Brock with another board and rolls him inside, but Brock rallies. He knocks Show off the apron onto a stretcher and heads through the curtain with evil intentions. While Brock is gone, Mysterio appears! He gives Show a 619 to the stomach. Show responds with a clothesline and seeks a chokeslam, but Lesnar returns on a forklift! So, Rey jumps on Show’s back while Show stares at the sight. The distraction allows Lesnar to nail a flying clothesline off the forklift. Finally, Lesnar suplexes Big Show and lands the F5. He creates a makeshift stretcher from the forklift’s pallet and the body board. Once he gets Big Show onto the forklift, Lesnar drives across the line.

Thoughts: This was better than I expected. They added bells, whistles, and cool spots to keep it entertaining. Plus, that finish pushed it over the top. It won’t be Lesnar’s last use of heavy machinery during a bout.

Winner: Brock Lesnar (15:27)

The Good:

• Brock vs. Big Show

• Eddie & Tajiri vs. Team Angle

• Trish vs. Jazz vs. Jacqueline vs. Victoria

The Bad:

• Too many filler segments

• Nash vs. Triple H

• La Resistance vs. Steiner & Test

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to the women in the Fatal Four-Way. Trish and Jazz put on good matches, two PPVs in a row. Plus, Victoria and Jackie did well.

Final Thoughts:

This was another poor PPV. They packed it with non-wrestling segments, to the detriment of the action. It felt more like an episode of television than a pay-per-view. They tried to do too much, so I understand why they moved to brand-exclusive events after this. Having both brands on one show made it feel bloated.

Thank you for reading. My next review is Bad Blood 2003. Look for it next Sunday!