Armageddon 2002

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Armageddon

December 15, 2002

Office Depot Center

Sunrise, Florida

News & Notes: The general manager scene saw some developments since Survivor Series. First, Bischoff acquired D-Von, Ivory, Maven, and Val Venis in the Big Show trade. He appointed Venis as his chief of staff, but Val told everyone to call him by his real name, Sean Morley. Chief Morley became Bischoff’s right-hand man who enforced the rules. Elsewhere, Stephanie appeared to turn heel after suspending Brock Lesnar. The fans booed her decision, so she leaned into it. Steph even forced the Fabulous Moolah to fight the Big Show. (Hold on. That sounds like a babyface move. I stand corrected.) Meanwhile, the general managers fought over Scott Steiner’s services. Bischoff offered him freaks, but Stephanie implied she would sleep with Steiner. However, this didn’t happen, much to Scott’s annoyance. Her reluctance resulted in Steiner signing with RAW instead.

Next, we have a few continuing feuds. Dawn Marie provided Torrie with a way to prevent her marriage to Al Wilson. All Torrie had to do was sleep with Dawn. After all, Al wasn’t the only Wilson she desired. Torrie gave in after Dawn goaded her, but Al said he still wanted to marry Dawn despite the affair. When Dawn agreed, Torrie attacked her. So, Dawn threatened to release their sex tape at this event. In other news, Nowinski’s issues with Snow and Maven escalated to a School of Hard Knocks Match. Plus, Christopher convinced D’Lo that Maven was stealing his airtime, so D’Lo joined the fray. Then there is Jamie Noble. He lost a few matches to Crash, so Noble called his cousin Nunzio (Little Guido) to help him get revenge. John Cena also added a sidekick. He made Bull Buchanan his heavy and renamed him B-Squared.

Finally, two people debuted on TV. Ernest “the Cat” Miller filled in on commentary when Tazz had a family emergency. And former Tough Enough contestant Josh Matthews started working as a backstage interviewer on Smackdown.

The PPV: “The End is Here” returns for the opening video. Freddie Blassie and some creepy kid speak about visions of Armageddon, the darkening sun, and seeking death. The moon sheds her light over a great tribulation the world has never known! These men won’t find death, but the end is here. As they say these things, we see footage of bombs, missiles, and torpedoes mixed with bloody and violent scenes from the two main feuds. Triple H will face Shawn Michaels, and Kurt Angle battles the Big Show. This is WWE Armageddon!

Now CGI helicopters fire shots at the Armageddon logo while an amusing-looking robot runs toward the screen. JR welcomes everyone to the PPV as fireworks explode. He says the end is here, but for whom? Four titles are on the line, including the two most important championships in WWE. JR and King discuss the card during the entrances for the first contest. It’s a Fatal 4-Way Elimination encounter for the World Tag Team Titles. They held a coin toss to see who would begin the action, which Bubba Ray and Lance Storm won.

Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match for the World Tag Team Titles: Booker T & Goldust vs. Chris Jericho & Christian (c) vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Lance Storm & William Regal

Storyline: Jericho had to apologize to Christian for attacking him with a chair before Survivor Series, but they patched their differences and defended the tag titles against the Dudleys. Chief Morley restarted the match twice to screw the Dudleys out of a win, so the Dudleys got revenge. They locked Jericho and Christian outside the locker room, naked. Then the Dudleys tossed their belongings into the crowd, including their jar of ass cream! However, Jericho and Christian attacked the Dudleys, threw Spike off the stage, and gave D-Von a Conchairto. Meanwhile, Storm and Regal tore through opponents and tried to injure them. Their main targets were Jeff Hardy and Tommy Dreamer. They also defeated Booker and Goldust. Goldust thought he was the weak link because of this, so he suggested Booker find a new partner. Booker refused and convinced Goldust to continue teaming with him.

The Match: Everyone fights and tags members of the other teams or makes blind tags until Jericho and Christian take control of Goldust. They double-team him, but Goldust rallies with a catapult on Jericho and a Manhattan Drop to Christian before tagging Bubba. Now, Bubba and Goldust do a stereo flip, flop, and fly before a brawl erupts. The Dudleys give Christian the 3D, not knowing Regal tagged himself into the action. William rolls Bubba up with too much gusto, and Bubba ends up on top. So, they redo the spot, and Regal pins Bubba with a handful of pants. Next, Goldust returns and takes a cheap shot from Storm, but he surprises Regal with a powerslam for another elimination.

Afterward, Book Dust holds their own against Christian and Jericho with heel kicks and sidekicks, but Goldust falls victim to more double-teaming. Jericho and Christian fend off his comebacks and use Storm and Regal’s flags as weapons. Then they subdue Goldust with frequent tags, a gutbuster, and an ab stretch. This lasts until Goldust scores a sidewalk slam and tags Booker. He cleans house, but Jericho answers with the Flashback and the Walls, which Goldust breaks with a bulldog. Sensing trouble, Christian attempts a belt shot. So, Booker runs Jericho into Christian and hits a flapjack and scissors kick with a Spinaroonie mixed in. Christian distracts the ref to prevent a three, but Goldust jumps him. While this happens, Jericho clocks Booker with the title and nails a Lionsault. It only earns two, so Jericho complains. Finally, Booker ducks a second belt strike and wins with the Book End.

Thoughts: The first half became a mess when they botched the Dudleys’ elimination, but they salvaged it by the end. This turned out well once it came down to Booker and Goldust vs. Jericho and Christian. They should have kept it to those two teams instead of a four-way. Also, I enjoyed seeing Booker and Goldust capture the belts. They were one of the most over duos in the company at the time.

Winners: Booker T & Goldust (New Champions) (16:43)

Coach interviews Booker T and Goldust in the aisle. He says a lot of people didn’t think they had what it takes to get it done. This makes Booker angry. He says people like Coach thought they couldn’t do it, but the people in the arena believed in Goldie and Booker T. Booker tells Goldust he isn’t the weak link. He’s one-half of the World Tag Team Champions! Now, can you dig that, sucka!?

Then we see a clip from Heat. Josh Matthews approaches Lesnar, but Brock doesn’t know who he is. Once Josh introduces himself, he asks if Lesnar will be in Angle’s corner now they lifted his suspension. Lesnar doesn’t answer that question. He only says he will make an impact tonight.

Edge vs. A-Train

Storyline: Edge received a WWE Title shot against Big Show, but Big Show kept chokeslamming him on Heyman’s orders until Lesnar stopped it. Then Edge and Rey faced John Cena and Matt Hardy, and Matt cheated to pin Rey while B-Squared interfered. But things got worse. Albert sought to make a name for himself, so he attacked Mysterio after defeating him. He injured Rey’s knee with a chair, which drew Edge’s wrath. Edge jumped Albert backstage, but Albert returned the favor. He whacked Edge’s knee with a chair before Edge competed in a #1 contender’s contest. Edge still made it to the final two, only to lose to Angle. Later, Albert told people to call him A-Train from now on. Finally, Edge and Angle wrestled A-Train and Big Show. Train and Show won with a chair and Heyman’s interference.

The Match: A-Train shoves Edge around, hits a shoulder block, and catches a diving Edge. He also pushes Edge into the barricade when Edge tries to crotch him on the post. While they fight outside, Albert crashes into the post on a missed clothesline, so Edge capitalizes. He rams A-Train’s arm into the post and attacks his knee before hitting a leg drop. Now, A-Train surprises Edge with a powerslam, catapults him into the ropes, and locks him in a chinlock.

Edge uses a jawbreaker to escape and nails a jumping forearm, a wheel kick, and a face plant. He continues with a second-rope Edge-O-Matic, but Albert knocks a flying Edge down with a bicycle kick! This only earns two, so A-Train fetches a chair and eats a baseball slide for his trouble. Back inside, Edge lands a flying crossbody and looks for the Edgecution, which Albert blocks. This opens the door for a Baldo Bomb, but it isn’t enough, so Albert returns to the chair. Edge scores a spear as the ref grabs the weapon, but Albert kicks out and smacks Edge’s knee with the chair for a DQ.

Thoughts: I liked the story they told, and the action was fine, but this didn’t thrill me. Then, they had a disappointing finish. I get it. They wanted to build A-Train as a killer, but this was more of a TV encounter than something you put on PPV.

Winner: Edge (by DQ) (7:12)

A-Train continues his attack, but Edge dropkicks the chair into his face. Then Edge shoves the ref away and goes berserk with the weapon. He wails on him, so Cole says Edge is doing this for Mysterio.

Backstage, Heyman tries to calm an angry Big Show. Paul doesn’t want Big Show to storm into Stephanie’s office and do something rash. Big Show asks if Paul heard what Lesnar said. He promised to make an impact, and Show knows that means he will be in Angle’s corner tonight. Big Show says he is sick of the disrespect and needs to speak his mind to Stephanie. Heyman says that’s how they got into this mess. Steph lifted Lesnar’s suspension because they intimidated her. McMahons don’t react well to threats. So, Heyman tells Big Show to stay in his locker room and focus on Angle while he handles everything. Paul wants to reason with Stephanie as a businessman. Big Show says he better handle this.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Storyline: Los Guerreros continued feuding with Benoit and Angle after Survivor Series. Benoit defeated Chavo, and Angle beat Eddie, which earned them a tag title shot. However, Chavo hit Benoit with the championship, and Eddie pinned Benoit. Then Eddie and Benoit competed in a #1 contender’s contest. Benoit eliminated Eddie with the Crossface, so Eddie nailed Benoit with the belt to cost him the win. Later, Benoit teamed with Kidman because Angle had issues with the Big Show. Benoit and Kidman fought Los Guerreros for the championships. Chris made Eddie tap to the Crossface, but the ref didn’t see it. So, Eddie rolled Benoit up with his feet on the ropes to steal a victory. Finally, Kidman defended the Cruiserweight gold against Chavo on Velocity. Eddie caused a DQ before Benoit attacked him, and they brawled.

The Match: They exchange takedowns, mat wrestling, and holds until Benoit powers Eddie up and drops him. Then Benoit gorilla presses Eddie, but Chris tumbles outside because Eddie evades him. Now, Guerrero does a plancha before focusing on Benoit’s leg. He places him in various leg submissions and wrenches on the limb. This lasts until Benoit boots Eddie in the face and scores numerous rolling Germans. He also seeks a powerbomb, but Eddie lands on his feet and does his own rolling Germans.

A Frog Splash follows, which only earns two, so Eddie argues with the ref. While this happens, Chavo decks Benoit with a tag belt. The cover gets another two, so Eddie locks Benoit in the Lasso from El Paso. Once Benoit finds a rope break, he fends off more Chavo interference and nails the flying headbutt. Afterward, they counter each other’s submission attempts until Benoit secures the Crossface. Eddie fights and claws, so Benoit switches sides. Chris even holds on when Eddie tries to roll him up. Since Eddie can’t escape, he taps.

Thoughts: This was great, but the crowd didn’t appreciate it. They reacted to the bigger spots, but went silent for much of this. The dead audience took me out of it a little, but I still enjoyed the amazing action.

Winner: Chris Benoit (16:47)

Stephanie says she loves Benoit, and Heyman agrees. He wants to make Benoit one of his clients, so Heyman thanks Stephanie for making him wait until after that bout to see her. She tells him he can’t do anything about Lesnar’s suspension. Steph lifted it as of tonight. Heyman says she doesn’t understand him, so Steph says she doesn’t want to. Paul says he isn’t there about the suspension. He needs to talk about the main event. It’s mano a mano between two gladiators. Steph says she knows this already. Next, Heyman mentions the integrity of this match, but this makes Steph laugh. She questions the way Big Show won the title. Steph says it’s up to Lesnar if he decides to be in Angle’s corner. Upon hearing this, Heyman thanks her for her time, but he says Big Show will break Lesnar’s neck if he interferes.

Now, Dawn Marie and Al Wilson come to the ring because Dawn is ready to show the sex tape. Dawn says she embarrassed Torrie too much, so Torrie didn’t show up tonight. Then Dawn teases the fans before rolling the footage. We see what they showed on Smackdown, but it continues. Dawn offers Torrie champagne and strawberries before removing Torrie’s top and skirt. Once Dawn sheds her robe, she whispers in Torrie’s ear, and they kiss. However, Dawn stops the clip and asks the fans if they want more. They do, but Al doesn’t. He tells Dawn to stop this. That’s his daughter! Dawn almost shows it despite his pleas, but Al puts his foot down. She relents, which draws boos and asshole chants from the crowd. Dawn says this proves Torrie is a sexual predator. She also invites Al to the hotel to make their own movie.

Batista (w/ Ric Flair) vs. Kane

Storyline: Bischoff wanted to book Triple H in a #1 contender’s contest after Survivor Series, but Flair reminded him Hunter got hurt in the Elimination Chamber. Eric felt disrespected by Flair, so he booked him against Kane. However, Flair had an ace up his sleeve. Batista jumped Kane and planted him with a Batista Bomb. Ric took Batista under his wing because he saw potential in him. He told Batista to use his rough upbringing to fuel his rage, so Batista unleashed that rage on the Hurricane and RVD. Kane rescued them, but Chief Morley yelled at Kane. The problem was that Kane mocked Morley and earned a handicap fight against 3-Minute Warning. 3MW and Rico attacked Kane after Kane beat them, so RVD saved Kane and gave Jamal a Van Terminator.

The Match: Kane can’t knock Batista down with a shoulder block, but he gets him with a swinging neckbreaker. He also slams Batista after Batista regroups, but Batista answers with a tackle and a suplex. Then Batista sends Kane outside for Flair’s interference. Unfortunately, it’s ineffective, so Batista saves him because Kane looks for a chokeslam. Back inside, Kane scores a corner clothesline, a big boot, and a side slam, but he misses a flying clothesline. Now, Batista drops Kane on a Batista Bomb attempt, so they cover for it with Kane’s low blow and flying clothesline. Sensing trouble, Flair distracts the ref when Kane covers him. Afterward, Batista nails a spinebuster, but Kane responds with a chokeslam. Flair occupies the ref again, so Kane pulls him into the ring and gives him a big boot. This allows Batista to kick Kane and end it with a Batista Bomb.

Thoughts: This wasn’t great. They did their job and made Batista look strong, but this contained awkward action. Plus, the crowd didn’t react to it. Batista was still green and needed work, but he improved over time.

Winner: Batista (6:38)

Meanwhile, Kurt Angle asks Funaki for directions to Lesnar’s locker room.

Afterward, John Cena arrives with B-Squared at his side. John says he has a master’s degree in thuganomics and wants to do a freestyle rap with no beat. He says all the women want him, and he’s the envy of all the guys. Their girls are with them, and they’re about to learn her bra size. John doesn’t care who he pisses off, from Stephanie McMahon to Eric Bischoff. They never leave a man standing. You can either deal with him or bling-bling Buchanan. Then John calls himself the new centerpiece of World Wrestling Entertainment. If you mouth off and come to blows, you’ll be like Marcia Brady saying, “Ow, my nose!” Once Cena finishes, he says he’s out. On a side note, poor JR doesn’t know what bling-bling means.

Triple Threat Match for the Women’s Title: Victoria (c) vs. Jacqueline vs. Trish Stratus

Storyline: Victoria’s behavior grew stranger since Survivor Series. She interrupted a segment between Stacy Keibler and Steven Richards and bit off one of Stacy’s fingernails. When Stacy complained, Bischoff made her fight Victoria. Victoria succeeded, and Richards helped her ambush Trish when Trish came to Stacy’s aid. Then Victoria defeated Trish in a rematch and celebrated by licking Richards’ neck and biting him. But he wasn’t the only one she did this to. Victoria licked Stacy and said she tasted her fear. Later, Jacqueline caught Victoria going through her bags, so they fought. Jacqueline won the non-title bout, but Richards consoled Victoria. He even challenged Jackie and beat her. Trish intervened when they attacked her, but Jacqueline said she didn’t need Trish’s help. Finally, Victoria, Jericho, and Christian faced Trish and the Dudleys in a Tables Match, and Trish put Victoria through a table.

The Match: Victoria runs to the ring, but they throw her out. However, Victoria returns for a hotshot on Trish and a slingshot leg drop. Now, Jackie attacks Victoria and does a leg sweep before Victoria and Jackie counter the Stratusfaction with a double back suplex. Victoria also lands a superplex, but Jackie tries to steal the pin. This leads to pin attempts by everybody until Jackie scores a headscissors on Victoria.

Next, Trish and Jackie yank Victoria off the ropes. Jackie keeps sending her opponents outside, but Trish performs a flying crossbody and a handstand headscissors. Plus, Trish nails Chick Kicks and a neckbreaker. The problem is that Victoria breaks up a pin late because Jackie shoves her off the top rope. Trish has to stall for her to get there. Afterward, Victoria rolls to the floor while Trish tackles Jackie into the corner. Victoria returns with the belt and clocks Trish before covering Jackie for the win.

Thoughts: This was messy. They had some nice ideas, but the execution felt clunky. Victoria was out of position a few times and missed her cues. Worse yet, this had no heat from the crowd. But then again, they remained silent for most of this show.

Winner: Victoria (4:28)

Victoria collects her belt and steals Trish’s hat. She places it on her head, so JR wants somebody to explain Victoria’s obsession with Trish.

Meanwhile, Angle speaks with Lesnar in his locker room. They stand in front of a TV while Angle holds a tape. He reminds Brock about what happened at Survivor Series. Brock had Big Show beat until Heyman screwed him out of the title. If Brock is in Kurt’s corner, he will be twenty feet away from Heyman and retribution. Lesnar says he doesn’t know how much Angle had to do with lifting his suspension, but he won’t regret it. Angle asks if this means Brock will be in his corner, but Brock only reiterates he won’t regret it. So, Angle puts the tape in the VCR and presses play. It’s the footage from Survivor Series, which Angle hopes will sway Lesnar’s decision.

WWE Title Match: Kurt Angle vs. The Big Show (c) (w/ Paul Heyman)

Storyline: Lesnar jumped Matt Hardy and put him through a wall, so Heyman threatened legal action if Steph didn’t control Lesnar. Steph vowed to suspend Brock if he interfered or attacked Big Show, but Lesnar defied her. So, Steph suspended Lesnar and had the police escort him away, but Lesnar returned for more. Heyman compared Brock to a disobedient child. He said he found a new client who would listen. Meanwhile, Angle won a #1 contender’s contest. Then Angle approached Brock at an autograph signing. He said he could get Lesnar’s suspension lifted and offered Brock the first title shot if he helped him against the Big Show. Stephanie agreed to do it, which infuriated Heyman. She said she reinstated Brock because he made her money, but warned Lesnar to obey her. Finally, Big Show pinned Angle during a tag encounter, using a chair and Heyman’s interference.

The Match: Angle keeps going for takedowns and holds until Show dumps him outside. Unfortunately, Angle lands on Heyman! While Show checks on Paul, Angle throws him over the ropes, but Show tosses Angle around when he continues the attack. Now, Show scores a side slam and turns a crossbody into the Final Cut. This only earns two, so Show locks Angle in a bear hug until Angle bites him to escape. With Show dazed, Angle does a tornado DDT, a missile dropkick, and a moonsault. Plus, Kurt escapes an Alley-Oop attempt and nails an Angle Slam, but it only earns two! Next, Angle seeks an anklelock and gets it in two tries, but Show wipes out the ref when he shoves Kurt.

Heyman introduces a chair, but Angle grabs it and whacks Big Show in the head. An anklelock follows after Big Show powers out of a pin. Show taps, but the ref misses it. Before the ref can recover, A-Train arrives, gives Angle a backbreaker, and escapes into the stands. This surprises Heyman and allows Show to perform a chokeslam, but Lesnar appears! He drops Show with an F5 and chases Heyman down the aisle. Angle crawls over and covers Big Show for the three.

Thoughts: This won’t win any awards, but I enjoyed it. They leaned more into the storytelling, which worked. Also, Lesnar’s involvement and Angle’s victory got a reaction out of this dead crowd. So, this did its job beautifully. Better yet, this starts a great run for Angle as champ.

Winner: Kurt Angle (New Champion) (12:36)

RVD is at the World. JR asks him to predict a winner for Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels. RVD says he has been in the ring with both men and knows their capabilities. He predicts a classic. However, RVD thinks HBK has Triple H’s number. He wants to see Shawn win because no one enjoys seeing Triple H get his ass kicked more than Rob Van Dam!

Now, it’s time for the main event. This is a 2 out of 3 Falls encounter. Each fall has a stipulation, so this is Three Stages of Hell. They start with a Street Fight and progress to a Cage Match. The third fall will be a Ladder Match if needed. Ric Flair arrives with Triple H, but Hebner ejects him because Flair grows agitated when Michaels mocks him.

Three Stages of Hell Match for the World Title: Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels (c)

Storyline: RVD won a shot at Shawn in a Triple Threat against Booker and Jericho. When RVD wrestled Shawn, Triple H returned and attacked both men before giving Shawn a backbreaker on a chair. However, Bischoff made Hunter earn the #1 contendership by facing RVD with Shawn as the ref. Eric threatened to strip Shawn of the belt if he didn’t call it down the middle. Shawn screwed with Hunter during the bout, but it didn’t matter. Hunter used a chair to win behind Shawn’s back. Afterward, Hunter told Shawn to raise his arm, but Shawn superkicked him. Then Hunter faced Jeff Hardy. Shawn saved Jeff from a beating, so Flair told Shawn to pass the torch to Hunter before Hunter killed him. Shawn ignored this warning and called Hunter to the parking lot. He knocked Ric and Hunter into a dumpster and dove onto them.

The Match: They fight with trash cans and set up tables on the floor. Shawn blocks a suplex from the apron and a backbreaker on a chair. Then Shawn gives Hunter the backbreaker on the chair. Now, he focuses on Hunter’s back and attempts a superkick, but Hunter catches his foot and targets the knee. Leg work leads to a long Figure Four. Eventually, Shawn reverses the hold before they brawl down the aisle. Once they reach the set, Hunter finds a barbed wire 2×4 and lights the thing on fire, using the flames in the entrance. Unfortunately for him, Shawn gets the board and bloodies Triple H. Back inside, Hunter surprises Shawn with a drop toe hold on a chair. Shawn answers with a low blow and kips up, but Hunter scores a chop block and a Pedigree for the first fall.

Before the cage lowers, Hunter collects weapons. He uses a trash can and the cage wall to bust Shawn open, but Shawn fires back with a Thesz Press. Next, they climb to the top of the cage and exchange strikes. So, Flair returns and sets up a stack of tables beneath them, but Shawn and Hunter fall back into the ring. Since that plan failed, Flair enters the cage with a chair. Shawn fends off his ambush and opens a cut on Flair’s head. He also decks Ric and Hunter with the chair and superkicks them. With them down, Shawn places Hunter on a table and does a flying splash off the top of the cage for a three!

Shawn fetches a ladder while they help Flair backstage. He whips Hunter into it and rams it into Hunter’s head. Shawn even tips the ladder over onto him and nails a suplex, which doesn’t hit the ladder. Later, Shawn tries a flying splash off it, but he misses, and Hunter lands a Pedigree. Hunter climbs slowly, so Shawn grabs his leg and pulls him down for a superkick. The kick sends Hunter outside, and Shawn climbs. This time, Hunter comes back and topples the ladder, sending Shawn onto the stack of tables. Shawn’s fall allows Hunter to collect the belt for the victory.

Thoughts: This was good, but I hesitate to call it great. Parts of the cage portion dragged, and the ladder section needed more substance. Other than the table spot, the last fall felt anticlimactic. Also, the commentary annoyed me. They spent most of the match talking about Shawn Michaels and the Showstopper like they were different people. Is Shawn doing the Mick Foley gimmick now? He never treated the two as something separate.

Winner: Triple H (New Champion) (38:33)

The Good:

• The main event

• Angle vs. Big Show

• Eddie vs. Benoit

The Bad:

• Batista vs. Kane

• Trish vs. Victoria vs. Jacqueline

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to Shawn Michaels. He proved he was back with this performance. The splash off the cage and his last bump in the match impressed me.

Final Thoughts:

This was the first misstep in 2002. It wasn’t a bad PPV, but much of it disappointed me. Plus, this suffered from a terrible crowd and pacing issues. They had too much filler for a show with a forty-minute main event.

Thank you for reading. My next review is Royal Rumble 2003. Look for it next Sunday!