Anarchy Rulz 2000

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Anarchy Rulz

October 1, 2000

Roy Wilkins Auditorium

Saint Paul, Minnesota

News & Notes: A lot has happened since Heat Wave, so let’s look at some of the extra storylines before we begin. Referee Danny Daniels thought Jerry Lynn was out to get him. After all, Jerry attacked Danny to take over as the ref for one of Tajiri’s matches. Then Jerry bumped into Danny during multiple contests. This made Daniels paranoid, so he sided with the Network and started screwing Lynn out of victories. Meanwhile, Billy Corgan returned to ECW and began a feud with Lou E. Dangerously. Lou joined the Network as their music consultant, and he thought Corgan’s music sucked. This led to some altercations where Corgan smashed a guitar over Lou’s head. In other news, Chris Chetti turned on Nova after they lost in the tag tournament. He blamed Nova for his lack of title success in the company, so Chris whacked Nova with a chair.

Elsewhere, C.W. Anderson continued his quest to mold Simon and Swinger into serious competitors. He helped them win matches and admonished them for their antics. Anderson also interrupted Jazz vs. The Prodigette because C.W. hates women’s wrestling. Speaking of the Prodigette, she and Simon’s former stablemates went their own ways. Prodigette called out the other women on the roster for their behavior, which put her on Jazz’s bad side. Then we have the Musketeer. He boasted about being a shooter, but this resulted in a match with Jazz. Meanwhile, another wrestler ventured out on his own. Billy Wiles reverted to his Elvis impersonator gimmick. He calls himself Bilvis Wesley. Now I want to mention a new character. ECW took over a bar and called it ECW New York. This bar had a bouncer named Redd Dogg (Rodney Mack). He didn’t take any guff, even from a drunken one-legged man.

Finally, I have one last bit of info. Heyman appointed Spike Dudley as the acting commissioner in his absence, so you will see Spike’s name pop up in the match notes.

Joey and Joel welcome everyone to St. Paul before Gertner does his usual shtick. He claims his family jewels make women wet enough to fill Olympic-sized pools. Plus, if it weren’t for contraception, he would have 27 children in this town. After all, Joel has been with women of every race in Minnesota. With that said, Joey says there are no rules tonight because Anarchy Rulz! This leads to the usual ECW opening video.

Afterward, we get the entrances for the first match. Gertner says he tried to get Roadkill to train him for his match with Cyrus. However, Roadkill told him to choke some chickens. Joel says they won’t allow half his lines on TV, so what makes Roadkill think they will let him choke his chicken?

Danny Doring & Roadkill vs. Christian York & Joey Matthews

Storyline: Christian York and Joey “The Future” Matthews (Joey Mercury) debuted after Heat Wave. Their first match was a little shaky, but they impressed the fans in the following weeks. Then they competed in the tag tournament, but they lost in the first round. Later, York & Matthews faced Doring & Roadkill. They earned the respect of Doring & Roadkill during the match, so everyone shook hands afterward. However, the FBI attacked everybody. This led to two title matches between Doring & Roadkill and the FBI, but Sal helped the FBI win both times. Meanwhile, Doring and Roadkill ventured into singles competition. Roadkill had a good showing against RVD, which earned him a whole Amish show chant. And Doring got an ECW championship opportunity against Credible, but he lost.

The Match: Doring and Matthews exchange holds and takedowns until Doring uses a low blow and hits the G-Spot Sweep. Then Roadkill and York fight back and forth. York rebounds from a catapult with a springboard leg drop, but Roadkill answers with a powerslam. He also lands a springboard elbow. Now Doring and Roadkill do the Lancaster Lariat. But when Doring tries a vaulting crossbody, York and Matthews evade him. This leads to stereo dives and the Future Shock. Nevertheless, Roadkill scores a springboard double clothesline and a running powerslam. Next, the teams trade guillotine leg drops before York and Matthews do some double-teaming. This ends when Danny gives York the Wham Bam and tags Roadkill. He cleans house with a Barn Burner, a powerbomb, and a corner splash. And Doring and Roadkill end it with the Buggy Bang.

Thoughts: This was a fun opener. They kept it short and exciting, and both teams shined. Plus, Doring and Roadkill are one of the most over acts in the company, especially Roadkill. They need a run with the tag titles soon.

Winners: Doring & Roadkill (7:14)

Doring and Roadkill applaud York and Matthews before they shake hands and hug. While this happens, Simon and Swinger run to the ring. They attack both teams with chairs and nail the Problem Solver on Doring. Styles says York broke Swinger’s orbital bone with a punch, so this is payback.

Afterward, Joey and Joel talk about Gertner’s match with Cyrus. Gertner says he needs to train, so he eats a handful of Lucky Charms. When Joey questions his training regimen, Joel swears a wrestler trained him. It wasn’t Roadkill, but you’ll know who it was when he wrestles. Joey doesn’t believe him, so Joel assures Styles he has a strategy. He won’t say what it is because he doesn’t want Cyrus to hear him.

Speaking of Cyrus, he enters the arena and insults Gertner. The graphic says, “Cyrus. He’s got pop!” (This was TNN’s new slogan.) Cyrus calls Joel fat and stupid, so Gertner heads toward Cyrus. Styles wishes him luck, but once Joel is out of earshot, Joey says he doesn’t have a chance. When Gertner reaches the ring, Cyrus laughs. He says he still has some stroke at TNN, so he added a stipulation. Gertner has to beat Cyrus’ men to get his fight. Those men are EZ Money, Hamrick, and Julio Dinero. Thankfully, Spike Dudley interrupts. He won’t overturn Cyrus’ decision, but he will change EZ Money’s opponent. Now Money will face Kid Kash. If Money wins, Cyrus doesn’t have to wrestle Gertner. But if he loses, the match is on!

Kid Kash (w/ Joel Gertner) vs. EZ Money (w/ Cyrus, Elektra, Julio Dinero, & Chris Hamrick)

Storyline: Kid Kash had a hell of a time since Heat Wave. He was supposed to wrestle for the ECW title, but C.W. Anderson jumped him backstage. However, he would get two shots at Credible only for Rhino to ruin both of them. Then Kash earned RVD’s respect in a match and teamed with him in the tag title tourney. RVD even helped Kash defeat Rhino to become the new TV champion! Unfortunately, Rhino interrupted Kash’s defense against Whipwreck. Rhino took Mikey’s spot and regained the TV belt. As for EZ Money and his crew, they added Elektra as their manager. Plus, they continued pissing everyone off. This included Jerry Lynn and Balls Mahoney. The latter led to a Handicap Extreme Deathmatch, which Balls won.

The Match: Kash flusters Money with flips and takedowns, so Elektra distracts the ref. This leads to interference, but Money wipes out his own men with a missed dive. Now Kash performs a springboard somersault plancha and a springboard clothesline. Undeterred, EZ answers with a Money Clip (Buckshot Lariat) and the Pendulum of Pain. After a chinlock by Money, they exchange pin attempts until Kash scores a double springboard hurricanrana and a tornado DDT. Next, EZ lands Electric Dreams (twisting vertical suplex), but Kash fires back with a moonsault and hits the Moneymaker. This results in more interference by Money’s men. They give Kash a double wheelbarrow suplex, and Hamrick nails the Confederate Crunch. When it only earns a two, they head to the top rope. Money throws a low blow and goes for a superbomb, but Kash counters into a hurricanrana in mid-air! It’s enough for a three.

Thoughts: This was great. They kept a good pace and built to a nice finish. Kash has perfect timing with his hurricanrana counter. He pulled off that move a couple of times on TV, and it always looks amazing.

Winner: Kid Kash (9:39)

Dinero and Hamrick attack Kash after the bell, so Spike returns to help. He takes advantage of a miscommunication and nails an Acid Drop on Hamrick. Unfortunately, Money chop blocks Spike’s bad leg and puts him in a Figure Four, but the Sandman appears! He canes Money, Hamrick, and Dinero before turning to Elektra. She tries to seduce him, so Sandman pours beer on her and shoves Gertner’s face into her cleavage. While Joel celebrates this glorious moment, Sandman slingshots Cyrus into the ring to begin the fight.

Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus

Storyline: Cyrus got a wrestling license after Gertner jumped him at Heat Wave. He wanted to fight Joel, but Spike Dudley had other ideas. Gertner wouldn’t be Cyrus’ first opponent. Spike gave that honor to the Sandman. During the bout, Rhino and Credible attacked, so Chilly Willy came to Sandman’s rescue. Later, Cyrus almost got in a fistfight with Styles, but he ran when Joey fired back. But Cyrus wasn’t done. He finally canceled ECW on TNN after another one of Gertner’s dirty promos. Then Cyrus dared a New Yorker to do something about it, so Heyman cracked a cellphone over Cyrus’ head. Unfortunately, Rhino gored Heyman through a table for it. Rhino even gored a cop! Afterward, Gertner challenged Cyrus to a fight at the PPV, so Lou E. confronted Joel. It was a distraction. While they fought, Cyrus ambushed Gertner from behind.

The Match: Joel spears Cyrus and throws punches. Then he rips off his jacket and shirt to reveal Kamala’s war paint on his chest! (Styles calls him the Ugandan Stud Muffin.) Joel follows this with a corner splash and slaps his belly before attempting a Stud Muffin Elbow. When Gertner runs the ropes, Cyrus trips him. Now Cyrus throws strikes and stomps in the corner, but he turns to gloat. This gives Sandman the opening to spit beer in Cyrus’ face, and Joel rolls him up for the win.

Thoughts: This was amusing, and they kept it at the right length. Plus, the crowd loved it, so I can’t fault this. Since ECW on TNN ends the week after this PPV, this was a good way to cap off the Network storyline. Cyrus received his comeuppance.

Winner: Joel Gertner (2:34)

Everybody celebrates with beers while Cyrus watches with disgust. He curses and heads backstage, so Gertner, Sandman, Kash, and Spike pose in the corners. Gertner stumbles around when he gets beer in his eyes, and Sandman almost falls off the guardrail.

Da Baldies (Angel & Tony DeVito) vs. Balls Mahoney & Chilly Willy

Storyline: Chilly Willy formed a bond with Sandman after he saved him from Credible and Rhino. Willy also pissed off the Network. Cyrus offered him a spot with them, but Willy rejected it and attacked Cyrus. As a result, Cyrus pitted Chilly and Sandman against Credible and Rhino in the tag tourney. Credible and Rhino destroyed them for an easy win. As far as Balls, he faced RVD twice and fell to the Van Terminator both times. Later, Balls answered open challenges by Bilvis Wesley and Chris Chetti. During the latter, Da Baldies jumped Balls, so Chilly Willy rescued him. Speaking of Da Baldies, they ambushed Doring & Roadkill before their tag tournament encounter, but they still lost. Plus, Da Baldies got on the wrong side of Redd Dogg. They tried to barge into ECW New York, so Dogg threw them out.

The Match: Everybody brawls until Balls and Chilly nail stereo neckbreakers. Then Balls pulls out a fork and bloodies Da Baldies. This leads to fighting in the crowd, which makes Styles nervous. Balls grabs a fan’s drink, so DeVito sends him into a guardrail before he can use it. Afterward, DeVito flips off Styles and does a moonsault from the commentary booth. As this happens, Angel powerbombs Chilly on some chairs. Now they return to the ring, and Balls rallies with punches and chair shots, so Angel ends this with the staple gun. He staples Balls’ eye before Da Baldies clobber Balls and Chilly with the chairs. Balls and Chilly try to remain upright, but a few more strikes end the contest.

Thoughts: Most of this was a dull crowd brawl. The finish was brutal, but it didn’t make up for the rest of the fight. Plus, I wanted to see more of Chilly Willy. He’s entertaining, but they focused on Balls for the entire contest. Chilly and Angel disappeared for a while.

Winners: Da Baldies (7:39)

Balls’ eye is bleeding from the staple gun attack. Joey tells the cameraman not to show it, and Gertner calls for some EMTs. While this happens, Lou E. Dangerously smashes a cellphone over Gertner’s head! Lou asks Joey if he thinks he’s a joke now, so security has to separate Joey and Lou. Then we see Heyman in the truck. He tells them to switch to a promo instead.

Justin and Francine are backstage. Credible says Jerry Lynn has a chance to win the ECW title in front of his family. Lynn beat some of ECW’s top wrestlers as of late, but he never beat the right guy at the right time. Tonight, this is the wrong place, wrong time, and wrong ECW champ. He will show Lynn why he is the greatest ECW champion of all-time. That’s not just the coolest or best, it’s the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, and that’s Justin Credible.

Now they go to Jerry Lynn for a rebuttal. Jerry asks if Justin knows how often people tell him he had the best match or tell him he’s the best wrestler. What did it get him? He sat back and watched them elevate other wrestlers to superstardom and championships because he didn’t fit into anyone’s plans! Jerry says he is sick of being the star-maker. So tonight, in his hometown, he will make himself the World Heavyweight Champion.

Back in the announce booth, Cyrus takes Gertner’s spot as the color commentator.

#1 Contender Match: Steve Corino (w/ Jack Victory & Dawn Marie) vs. C.W. Anderson

Storyline: Corino left the Network when Cyrus backed Credible and Rhino in the tag tournament instead of Corino and Anton. He felt disrespected after helping Credible and Rhino retain their titles. Corino thought Anton had his back, but Scotty attacked him and sided with the Network. Afterward, Corino said he wouldn’t apologize for his cheating ways. In fact, he would use them to beat Credible for the ECW title! Furthermore, he recruited Dawn Marie to deal with Francine. However, the Network screwed Steve out of winning the gold from Justin twice. As for C.W. Anderson, he also wanted a shot. Anderson scored a tainted victory over Lynn with Danny Daniels’ help, so C.W. believed he should be the #1 contender. Then they announced this bout, so Anderson attacked Corino with a chair during a match.

The Match: They exchange knockdowns and takedowns until there is a stalemate. Then Anderson almost introduces a chair, but he changes his mind. However, Corino has no such qualms. Corino’s chair shot knocks Anderson onto an open chair. This leads to brawling outside, and Anderson busts Corino open with the chair. Now they head inside, where Corino counters a powerbomb into a t-bone suplex. Nevertheless, Anderson injures Corino’s shoulder with chair attacks and armbreakers. Plus, C.W. blocks the Expulsion and lands a Ferris Wheel. A sleeper hold follows, but Corino crotches Anderson on an open chair. He even scores another low blow and a bionic elbow. This draws out Simon and Swinger, so Jack Victory chases them backstage. While this happens, Anderson gathers more chairs, but it backfires. Corino nails a superkick and ends it with an Old School Expulsion on a chair.

Thoughts: I enjoyed this. It was a nice departure from the other matches. This one was more grounded and told a good story. Plus, I liked the ending. It was simple, yet effective. With that said, someone should have told Corino he doesn’t need to bleed in every contest. There’s a reason his forehead looks thatched.

Winner: Steve Corino (12:47)

Backstage, the Sinister Minister is with the Unholy Alliance. Mikey reads from a book about witchcraft and demonology while the Minister speaks. He says the FBI stole their tag titles in New York, so they have been reading from the good book. The Minister promises they will cook up something that will burn their asses. As he says this, Mikey’s book catches on fire. Tajiri looks on in shock while Mikey and the Minister cackle.

Next, we hear from Rhino. He says RVD and his fans asked for this match for a long time. That’s okay, because Rhino also wants this fight. RVD wants the TV title, but Rhino is the champion! He promises to rape Van Dam’s face with his fist until god won’t even recognize him! Tonight, it is him versus RVD. And if Fonzie gets too close, he will shove his whistle up his ass! It will happen tonight!

Now it’s time for the Unholy Alliance vs. the FBI. Mikey and Tajiri wear kabuki masks and hats to the ring. Once everyone arrives, DeAngelis introduces the teams. He says Tony Mamaluke weighs 2476 liquid ounces.

Tag Team Title Match: The F.B.I. (Little Guido & Tony Mamaluke) (c) (w/ Sal E. Graziano) vs. The Unholy Alliance (Mikey Whipwreck & Yoshihiro Tajiri) (w/ The Sinister Minister)

Storyline: Tajiri was supposed to wrestle Psicosis, but Guido attacked Tajiri because he wanted to fight Psicosis. When Tajiri sought revenge, he found a surprising ally. Mikey Whipwreck joined him to form what Styles called an Unholy Alliance. Psicosis even tried to partner with them against the FBI, but the partnership failed after Tajiri spit mist in Psicosis’ face by accident. This led to an awesome encounter between Tajiri and Psicosis. Later, the Unholy Alliance won the tag tournament to become the new champions! However, the FBI challenged them. If the FBI lost, they would disband for good, but that didn’t happen. The FBI defeated the Alliance to take their belts. The win finally made Mamaluke an official member. Later, they announced this rematch, so the FBI jumped Mikey while Tajiri wasn’t around.

The Match: Tajiri and Mikey throw kicks until Tajiri locks Guido in a Tarantula. Then they fend off Sal and put Tony in a tree of woe. With Tony prone, Tajiri does a baseball slide, and the Minister shoots a fireball at his crotch! Next, the Alliance uses a chair, but the FBI answers with a superbomb. Now the FBI takes control with a Sicilian Slice and a Russian Leg Sweep. This lasts until Mikey scores a wheelbarrow slam and tags Tajiri. He cleans house with a handspring elbow and clotheslines. Tony rallies with a suplex, but Mikey gives him a gutbuster. Plus, Tajiri prevents the Kiss of Death with the green mist, so Sal saves his team. This leads to Sal and the Minister fighting, and Tajiri gives Sal an Asai Moonsault. Unfortunately, Guido decks Mikey with a tag belt, and the FBI ends it with a double-team powerbomb.

Thoughts: This was pretty good. They maintained a fine pace and never let it drag. Plus, there were enough shenanigans to keep the feud going. ECW’s tag division is one of their strong suits, even in these dying days. They have multiple teams the crowd likes.

Winners: The FBI (8:38)

TV Title Match: Rhino (c) vs. Rob Van Dam (w/ Bill Alfonso)

Storyline: Between losing and regaining his TV title, Rhino also competed in the tag tourney with Credible. However, it was an uneasy partnership. They didn’t like each other, and Credible was reluctant to compete for the belts he threw down. Lynn and Dreamer eventually eliminated them from the competition. Meanwhile, Rhino defended his TV belt against RVD, but it ended in no contest after Credible and Kash got involved. This led to RVD & Kash vs. Credible & Rhino, and RVD pinned Rhino after a Van Terminator! But RVD had more plans for Rhino. He helped Kash beat Rhino for the belt. Once Rhino regained it, he wanted RVD’s blood. Rhino attacked Kash with pieces of a broken table and dared RVD to come stop him. This caused a pull-apart brawl.

The Match: They brawl around the guardrails, and spill into the crowd. There, Rhino gores RVD into some chairs. When they return to the ring, RVD rallies with a somersault plancha and Van Daminators. Nevertheless, Rhino swats RVD with a diving clothesline. Next, Rhino sets up some tables and wears RVD down with a chinlock. When RVD breaks free, he scores a rolling fireman’s carry, a moonsault, and the Five Star. It isn’t enough. Rhino kicks out at two! This leaves RVD in shock, so Rhino gores him and nails a piledriver on a table. Afterward, he rolls RVD inside, but this also only gets a two!

Sensing trouble, Fonzie hits Rhino with a chair. He opens the door for a Van Terminator, so Justin Credible distracts RVD with a cane. RVD fends off Justin and does the Terminator, but Rhino pulls Fonzie into the line of fire! Then Rhino gores RVD through a table and piledrives him on a chair. When he covers, Danny Daniels does a fast count.

Thoughts: I really enjoyed most of this. 99% of it was great. Rhino kicked out of a Five Star, which made him look like a beast. However, I have to deduct points for the finish. It didn’t need a fast count by Danny Daniels. Rhino did enough for a victory. The ref’s shenanigans took away from Rhino’s win.

Winner: Rhino (12:41)

The fans chant bullshit, so Cyrus says that’s too bad. Cyrus also says no one will shed a tear for Fonzie, but RVD shows concern. He asks if Bill will be okay. While they call for EMTs, Joey tells the cameraman to cut away to something else. Joey also brings up the fast count, so Cyrus tells him to stop.

Now it’s time for the main event. Justin Credible wears a Brett Favre jersey to antagonize the Vikings fans. He almost jumps the guardrail when one fan throws a drink at him. Then they announce HC Loc will referee this bout. It was supposed to be New Jack, but Credible and Rhino attacked him.

ECW Title Match: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible (c) (w/ Francine)

Storyline: Corino put a bounty on Lynn’s head before Steve left the Network, so Dreamer helped Lynn fend off Da Baldies when they tried to collect it. This led to Lynn and Dreamer teaming in the tag tournament. During the tourney, Lynn scored pinfalls on RVD and Credible, so they named Lynn the #1 contender. Later, Lynn teamed with Sandman against Credible and Rhino. However, Danny Daniels screwed Lynn out of a victory. Afterward, Spike booked a 3-Way Dance for the ECW title. It was Credible vs. Lynn vs. Corino, and Spike appointed New Jack as the ref to prevent any shenanigans. Jack was also supposed to officiate this bout, but Credible and Rhino beat him up. This allowed Daniels to ruin Lynn’s title hopes again. So Lynn, Corino, & HC Loc wrestled Credible, Rhino, & Daniels. Justin and Rhino gave Lynn a spike piledriver and let Daniels pin him.

The Match: They exchange holds and takedowns before blocking each other’s finishers. Then the fight spills outside, where Lynn lands a plancha, but he whacks his forearm on the rail. Next, Justin introduces a chair. This leads to brawling in the aisle and the entrance. When they return, they trade DDTs and chair shots. Now Lynn uses leg drops and sets up a table. He puts Justin on it, but Justin recovers for a sunset bomb. With Jerry down, Justin gets a mic. He taunts Jerry and the fans until they throw trash. Later, they do a series of counters before both men nail their finishers, but they only earn two counts! Following this, Justin superkicks the ref by mistake.

With the ref down, Danny Daniels arrives. He refuses to count three for Lynn, so Jerry tries to piledrive him. Francine uses the cane to stop this, and Justin attacks Lynn. Daniels does fast counts, but Jerry still kicks out! When Lynn retaliates, he almost scores the cradle piledriver on Credible. This time, Danny decks Jerry with the cane! It opens the door for That’s Incredible by Justin. He pins Jerry, and Daniels flips Lynn off. Danny starts his count, but New Jack’s music plays before Danny reaches three. Jack brings weapons and attempts to use a sickle on Daniels, so Justin saves him. Then Credible and Lynn counter back and forth until Lynn hits That’s Incredible on Justin. The original ref counts the three.

Thoughts: This was okay, but it dragged, and they overbooked the finish. I always laugh when a crooked ref stops because he heard a wrestler’s theme music. Why didn’t Daniels complete the count before New Jack reached the ring? Lynn should have gotten a more decisive victory in his hometown.

Winner: Jerry Lynn (New Champion) (19:36)

Styles says Jerry Lynn finally won the big one. He is the new ECW champion! While Joey says this, New Jack hugs Jerry and raises his arm. Then the locker room empties to celebrate with him. Poor Jerry wants to cut a promo, but he can’t find a working microphone. Sandman tries to make it work, but it fails, so Lynn poses again as the show ends.

The Good:

• The opener

• Kash vs. Money

• Corino vs. Anderson

• The tag title match

• Rhino vs. RVD

The Bad:

• Da Baldies vs. Balls & Chilly

• The main event was a little disappointing

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to Kid Kash. He went out there and stole the show.

Final Thoughts:

This was another enjoyable PPV from ECW. Things are falling apart behind the scenes, but the workers always bust their asses to put on a good show. Sure, the main event was a little lackluster, but it wasn’t bad. Plus, it had the right outcome. They sent the fans home happy.

Thank you for reading. My next review is the WWF’s No Mercy 2000. Look for it next Sunday!