Souled Out 2000

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Souled Out

January 16, 2000

Firstar Center

Cincinnati, Ohio

News & Notes: After the controversial end of Starrcade, Piper brought his son to Nitro, hoping it would pacify the situation. But the powers told Piper to take the fall for what happened. He had to go to the ring and say he sold out and screwed Goldberg. Roddy obeyed, but then Piper quit and destroyed the powers’ office with a bat. Meanwhile, everyone showed outrage, including Bret. The powers said they did it to make up for Montreal, but Bret didn’t want this. So he gave Goldberg a rematch. During the fight, the Outsiders attacked Goldberg with bats. And Bret joined the assault! It was a swerve! Bret, the Outsiders, and Jarrett reformed the nWo with new silver and black colors. Plus, Scott Steiner tricked everyone with a fake retirement before joining the nWo.

Later, the nWo wreaked havoc. They beat up EMTs, disrupted broadcasts, and destroyed property. An angry Goldberg sought revenge, but the nWo evaded him. So Goldberg targeted the powers’ limo instead. He shattered a few windows and legitimately shredded his hand. Say goodbye to Goldberg for a while. This sent the powers into hiding, so WCW president Bill Bush had enough. He appointed Terry Funk as a commissioner to keep the nWo in check. (WCW wanted Flair for Funk’s role, but Ric turned down the idea.) Funk’s first decision was to choose Arn Anderson as his enforcer. He also stripped the Outsiders of the tag belts because Scott Hall no-showed Nitro. So they started a Lethal Lottery to crown new champions.

Now for a rundown of the other insanity. Hugh Morrus’ senile grandfather interrupted one of his matches, much to Hugh’s chagrin. Now Hugh has to deal with him. Elsewhere, Evan Karagias grew tired of women screwing him over. So he formed a boy band with his friends, Shane Helms and Shannon Moore. They named themselves 3 Count. Evan vowed to steal fans’ girlfriends—and dump them! Meanwhile, Kanyon started carrying his own silver version of the WCW Title. He also broke champagne bottles on people’s heads. As a result, Bigelow ruined Kanyon’s time in the Lethal Lottery. Then we have Luger. He mocked Sting by dressing like him, so Sting sent cryptic warnings with black roses and crows. Finally, the former Lenny and Lodi returned with a woman named Miss Hancock (Stacy Keibler). They call themselves Standards & Practices, and they’re here to police WCW’s content.

I have one last thing to mention before we begin. WCW lost faith in Vince Russo, so they suggested the idea of a booking committee instead. Vince hated the idea because they hired him to be a head writer. Plus, he disagreed with some of their choices for the committee. So Vince stepped down as head of creative and went home. This happened days before the PPV, so the storylines are still his. Kevin Sullivan replaced him, but this caused issues I will mention later.

There is no opening video. We begin with fireworks, as Tony welcomes everyone to the show. Tony also has some important announcements. Bret Hart and Jeff Jarrett suffered bad concussions. Therefore, Funk stripped Bret of the title. Now Benoit and Sid will wrestle for the vacant championship. As far as the US belt, they will decide its fate later. Meanwhile, this changes the planned Triple Threat Theatre. Benoit and Jarrett were the original participants, but they transferred it to the Animals/Revolution feud. So Kidman will participate in three bouts tonight. Once they announced this, the Revolution jumped Konnan backstage and knocked him out.

This leads to Kidman’s entrance. When it was Benoit vs. Jarrett, Benoit planned a Dungeon Rules encounter. They were going to compete in a ropeless ring. Instead, Kidman and Malenko will have a Catch-as-Catch Can contest. You must remain inside the ropes. If you leave, you lose. Remember this.

Catch-as-Catch Can Match: Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

Storyline: After Starrcade, Duggan refused to denounce America. He said he lied when he agreed to the stipulation, so the Revolution tried to burn the flag and make him watch. Before they could do it, the Animals arrived to save Duggan. This led to Kidman, Konnan, & Duggan vs. Malenko, Saturn, & Asya. When the Animals won, the Revolution tried to attack them with Rey’s crutches. Then Kidman received a US title shot, but the nWo ruined it. Plus, Kidman & Konnan faced David Flair & Crowbar for the tag titles. But they lost when Arn helped David. Afterward, the Revolution attacked again. As a result, the Animals, the Revolution, and Flair & Crowbar had a triple threat for the tag championships. However, Flair & Crowbar beat them.

The Match: They trade headlocks, shoulder blocks, and takedowns. Then Kidman kips up and they tussle into the corner for a break. After it happens again, Dean avoids a dropkick and uses a jackknife pin for two. Next, Kidman throws mounted punches. So Dean rolls outside—oh, no. Charles Robinson has no choice but to call for the bell.

Thoughts: This was unfortunate. They thrust Kidman and Malenko into this at the last second, so Dean forgot the rules. He bailed outside for a breather, as heels normally do. I felt bad for everyone involved. It was an honest mistake. But at least Kidman can conserve his energy for two more matches.

Winner: Kidman (2:36)

After a recap, Scott Hudson interviews Vampiro. Scott says Vampiro asked Funk to change his match. Instead of Vampiro vs. Crowbar, it will be a 3-Way Dance between Vampiro, David Flair, and Crowbar. Vampiro wanted both men, but can he take them on by himself? Vampiro says he can. Plus, he’s sick of David Flair and Crowbar. As Vamp says this, Masahiro Chono interrupts him. He steps in front of Scott and Vamp and looks into the camera. Chono says something in Japanese, so Vampiro confronts him.

Since Chono ruined the interview, they go to Mean Gene. He interviews the tag champs David Flair and Crowbar with Daffney. Gene says they opened to proverbial can of worms. Tonight, they have a three-way with Vampiro. (Wait, that came out wrong.) This makes David laugh and vow to break Vampiro’s bones. Next, Crowbar says he will rip his flesh. Then Daffney promises to pick the rest clean. So Gene calls the three of them sick people, but Heenan says he counted four in this segment. Heenan also insults a fan with a David Flair sign.

3-Way Dance: Vampiro vs. Crowbar vs. David Flair (w/ Daffney)

Storyline: This started when Jerry Only flirted with Daffney, and she attacked him. It angered David Flair to the point he jumped David Penzer. Vamp tried to calm the situation, but David beat him up. Later, David and Daffney met a gas station attendant named Crowbar. As they talked, Vampiro and the Misfits ambushed David. So Crowbar fended them off with a pipe. Next, Crowbar knocked out the Maestro and took his place as David’s partner in the Lethal Lottery. So Vamp inserted himself in a Lottery match to get his hands on David. But Flair & Crowbar won the tournament and the tag titles with help from Arn. In return, David helped save Arn from the nWo. Finally, Vamp wrestled Crowbar. Afterward, David and Daffney used a pipe on Vamp, so Arn tried to talk sense into his godson. But David and Daffney left while Arn fought with Crowbar.

The Match: Vamp fends them off with strikes and a double facebuster. Then Crowbar scores a northern lights suplex, but Vampiro answers with kicks and a suicide dive. When the action spills outside again, Crowbar lands a somersault plancha and a diving splash off the apron. Back inside, Crowbar stops a rally and hits a German suplex and slingshot leg drop. Next, Vamp fights back with a superplex on Crowbar, but David breaks up the pin. This leads to attacks on Vampiro’s groin before Crowbar slams David on him. After a shaky powerbomb reversal, Vamp nails more kicks and an uranage. However, David puts Vamp in a Figure Four, and Crowbar splashes him. Crowbar also covers, which annoys David. He and Crowbar scuffle while Daffney tries to stop them. So Vamp uses the opening to whip David into Daffney and hit the Nail in the Coffin. It earns a three.

Thoughts: This was a mess. When Vampiro and Crowbar wrestled, it was good. But David is still awkward and lost in the ring. They should have had Vampiro wrestle Crowbar one-on-one instead. But at least Vampiro got a clean win for once.

Winner: Vampiro (10:32)

After they show Buff Bagwell entering the building, we go to Mean Gene. He says he is with the Mamalukes, so Tony Marinara tells Gene not to talk about his mama. Then Tony says he has important business, so he puts Vito in charge and leaves. Gene says Vito and Johnny have their hands full with the tough-as-nails Harris Boys. But Vito says no one is as tough as them. They’re the new guys on the block. Next, Johnny threatens to break their thumbs. With that said, Johnny asks Disco what he’s going to do, but Disco doesn’t know. He says it’s their match, so what do they want him to do? This angers Vito. He tells Disco to remember he’s part of the family now. As Vito shoves Disco, Gene asks what is going on.

Big Vito & Johnny the Bull (w/ Disco Inferno) vs. The Harris Boys

Storyline: After Creative Control learned they were pawns in the powers’ ruse, they turned on the powers in protest. Now they wanted people to call them by their real names, Ron & Don Harris. So the powers sent Jarrett and Hennig after them and used the power of the remote control. Meanwhile, Papa Marinara gave Disco two options. He could work for the family as an enforcer or spend the rest of his life in a coma. Disco chose wisely. Afterward, Vito and Johnny attacked Lash. So Lash confronted Disco, but Disco said he had no choice. Later, Tony Marinara made Disco collect protection money from a convenience store. Instead of intimidating the man, Disco traded his watch for the cash. But he told Tony he smacked the guy around.

The Match: After trading strikes with Ron Harris, Vito and Johnny make quick tags. They control Ron with a double sledge and double stomps. Plus, Vito lands a swinging neckbreaker and suplex. But the Harris Boys end the rally with a ref distraction and attacks on the floor. Next, Ron hits a side slam, and Don does chinlocks and a spinebuster. Later, they stop a comeback with a low blow and distract the ref for more shenanigans outside. This leads to a powerslam and DDT by Ron. Also, Don shoves Vito into the post and the Harris Boys try a spike piledriver, which Vito blocks. This allows Vito to climb, but Disco shoves him off the top rope. However, Vito lands on Ron and pins him! A confused and conflicted Disco watches in disbelief.

Thoughts: This was basic and dull. Johnny is still green, so he reused a few spots in a short bout. On top of this, the Harris Boys are not thrilling in the ring. So it made for a boring match. Only the finish was interesting, and even that wasn’t great.

Winners: Big Vito & Johnny the Bull (9:33)

After the bell, Vito thinks Disco helped him win, so Disco plays dumb as they leave together. But the commentators know better and call him out for his actions.

Next, they show Madusa complaining to Spice about Oklahoma. This leads to the entrances for their bout. Oklahoma still has the stolen Cruiserweight Title around his waist, so Tenay calls this ridiculous. Once he arrives, Oklahoma takes Penzer’s mic and insults the housewives in the crowd. He says men are the dominant and superior sex, but he admits he isn’t an athlete. However, he is a real man. And if any men disagree with him, they are pantywaist udder-sucking mama’s boys! With this said, Oklahoma tells Madusa to bring her silicon hoots down there so he can bounce them back to the kitchen!

Cruiserweight Title Match: Oklahoma vs. Madusa (c) (w/ Spice)

Storyline: After Starrcade, Madusa said she could beat any man and offered an open challenge. Then she spotted Buzzkill carrying a sign about equality, so she dared him to fight her. He accepted, but Spice helped Madusa win. Later, Madusa wrestled Asya with Oklahoma on commentary. Oklahoma taunted Madusa before smashing a BBQ sauce bottle over her head. He said women belonged in the kitchen, and these hoochies and silicon freaks made him mad. So Oklahoma issued his own open challenge. Asya answered it, but Oklahoma hit her with another bottle. When Madusa came to help, Oklahoma decked her with a broom and stole the Cruiserweight Title. This led to an Evening Gown Match between Madusa and Oklahoma. (Yes, I’m serious. I wish I wasn’t.) Oklahoma tried and failed to retrieve a BBQ sauce bottle taped to his leg. Madusa won, so Oklahoma once again poured BBQ sauce on her.

The Match: After some shoving, Madusa scores kicks and throws a clothesline. It misses, so Oklahoma performs hairmares and stops to catch his breath. This allows Madusa to throw more kicks and chops. Next, Oklahoma evades a corner charge, but Madusa drops a headbutt on his balls. However, he rolls outside and grabs the BBQ sauce bottle. So Spice and Asya come to stop him. They attack Oklahoma and roll him inside. There, Madusa grabs him only for Oklahoma to roll her up with a handful of tights. He gets the three.

Thoughts: This was awful and embarrassing. It not only made a mockery of the Cruiserweight Title, it also mocked Madusa. Russo left, but Ferrara stayed on the writing team. So I guess this was his call. I wonder if Sullivan fought him on this decision.

Winner: Oklahoma (New Champion) (2:56)

Oklahoma celebrates, but Madusa gets the last laugh. Asya and Spice help her grab Oklahoma and pour the BBQ sauce down his singlet. Then the women stomp on him and Madusa whips him with a jacket.

Next, Gene interviews the Hardcore Champion, Brian Knobs. He won the belt on Thunder, but now he has a Four the Hard Way fight with Finlay, Smiley, and Meng. Gene also says this was a long time coming for Brian. Brian agrees, but he gives credit to Finlay for training him. Fit took him under his wing and gave him the eye of the tiger. So Brian promises to take out Smiley and Meng. But then he will beat Finlay into a coma! The student will become the master tonight!

Now we get the entrances for this bout. Norman Smiley wears SWAT team gear and carries a riot shield. During the introductions, Tony reminds us Knobs was the one who caused Finlay’s horrific leg injury. So Tenay asks if training Knobs was Finlay’s payback. Meanwhile, Meng offers Norman a handshake before the fight begins. But the brawl prevents Smiley from taking it.

Four the Hard Way for the Hardcore Title: Brian Knobs (c) vs. Fit Finlay vs. Norman Smiley vs. Meng

Storyline: Norman and Meng teamed to face Finlay and Knobs in Baltimore. They brawled into the same bathroom Sullivan and Benoit used in ‘96, and Knobs pinned Norman. Later, they booked Smiley vs. Finlay. Norman tried to run and hide, but Meng attacked Finlay and helped Norman win. Then WCW paired Norman with Asya in the Lethal Lottery, and Finlay ended up with Meng. Norman and Asya made it to the second round. But Finlay and Meng lost by count out while they scuffled. Afterward, Jarrett challenged Norman to a Bunkhouse Brawl to prepare for Benoit, and Norman lost. Meanwhile, Finlay attempted to toughen Knobs up by brawling with him. WCW claimed the footage of the fight was too graphic to show uncensored. Once Finlay felt Knobs was ready, Brian faced Smiley in an icy parking lot. Knobs won and became the new Hardcore champ.

The Match: Everyone fights with trash cans and lids. Plus, Norman uses his nightstick on Knobs. After fighting off Finlay, Meng enters the ring and throws chops and headbutts at a screaming Norman. So Norman backs off and lets Knobs and Finlay fight with Meng. They use ineffective chair and can shots. When they don’t work, Finlay dons the SWAT helmet and targets Norman instead. Next, Finlay takes Smiley into the crowd while Knobs faces Meng. Brian brings out a table, but they never break it. Instead, Meng knocks Knobs out while Finlay and Smiley return. This leads to Meng and Finlay scuffling on the floor. While this happens, Norman picks up the riot shield and checks if Knobs is awake. Once he’s confident, Norman dances and goes for a diving nightstick attack. However, Knobs blocks it with the shield and pins Norman.

Thoughts: This was hard to follow and messy. They didn’t use any unique locations of funny moments. Norman was amusing, but they never focused on him long enough to appreciate it. So it was a disjointed mess with almost no entertainment value.

Winner: Brian Knobs (6:11)

While Knobs celebrates, Meng lifts Smiley to his feet, and Norman hugs him. However, Meng throws Norman out of the ring. As this happens, Finlay looks proud of his student. He says Knobs proved himself. But Heenan wonders who would want the Hardcore belt.

Now it’s time for the second bout in the Triple Threat Theatre. Kidman will face Saturn in a Bunkhouse Brawl. Falls count anywhere. Tenay says Malenko’s mistake gave Kidman a big break.

Bunkhouse Brawl: Kidman vs. Saturn

Storyline: Saturn continued baffling his teammates with his odd non sequitur comments. Then the Revolution traveled to Washington DC. Saturn attacked someone in a Clinton mask, thinking it was Bill. Meanwhile, Saturn and Asya found themselves on opposing sides in the Lethal Lottery. Saturn hesitated to fight her, but Asya attacked him, and her team won. The loss pissed off Saturn and caused issues between him and Asya. Despite the drama, Saturn & Malenko fought Konnan & Kidman and Flair & Crowbar for the tag titles. During the bout, the Revolution targeted Mysterio, and Saturn put him through a table with a balcony dive. However, it hurt Saturn and David Flair pinned him for the win. The next week, Saturn saw Asya shaking her head at one of his insane ramblings. So the Revolution called her a bitch and told her she was on thin ice.

The Match: They trade strikes until Saturn hits a press slam. Then Kidman answers with a headscissors and goes for a tornado bulldog, which Saturn blocks. He crotches Kidman on the ropes and nails a springboard clothesline. Next, Saturn stops Kidman’s rally and does a springboard leg drop, armbars, and a beal toss. Afterward, Perry sets up a table, so Kidman stops him with a slingshot crossbody. Plus, Billy lands another headscissors and pin attempts. Later, Saturn avoids Kidman’s powerbomb counter and hits the move. (Add him to the list of people who successfully powerbombed Kidman!) But Kidman fires back with a tornado bulldog and Sky High. When Kidman tries more, Saturn backdrops him over the ropes and through the table! It isn’t enough! So they fight on the top rope before Saturn attempts another powerbomb. This time, Kidman reverses into a facebuster for the win.

Thoughts: This wasn’t bad. They did some nice spots, but this was slow. You could tell Saturn kept the pace light since Kidman had to wrestle three times. It’s understandable and fine, but this keeps me from calling it great. Also, Kidman avoided disaster by an inch when Saturn backdropped him out of the ring. His head almost hit the apron!

Winner: Kidman (10:05)

Next, they show a video of Stevie Ray returning to his neighborhood. He wants to remind Booker where they came from. Stevie shows everyone a homeless man’s shack. Then Stevie greets their old friends, but they ask why Booker isn’t there. Stevie says Booker forgot about his people. Afterward, Stevie goes to their favorite barber shop. He says Mr. Harris still asks about Booker, but Stevie told him the same thing he told everyone else. Booker doesn’t have the time for them anymore. So Stevie says he turned on Booker because Booker turned on the hood.

This leads to a Mean Gene interview with Stevie. He says it’s obvious Stevie’s relationship with Booker has all but come to an end. Stevie says Booker will always be his little brother, but Booker doesn’t want to hear it. The footage speaks for itself. Tonight will be a lesson, but it will hurt Booker more than it hurts Stevie. And he tells Gene to remember that!

Now Booker and Midnight arrive for the bout. Booker wears the worst-looking gear I’ve seen. I hope he burned that outfit after the PPV. When Booker reaches the ring, he grabs a mic to address Stevie’s comments. Booker says Stevie is the one who forgot where he came from. He used to rely on his brother, but Midnight will watch his back. Booker also says Stevie used to call him junior. Tonight, he isn’t junior anymore. So Stevie better come get his ass kicked! Once Stevie arrives, Booker sends Midnight to the back.

Booker T vs. Stevie Ray

Storyline: Harlem Heat lost to the Varsity Club because Stevie argued with Midnight. Then Harlem Heat faced Midnight & Lash in the Lethal Lottery. When Booker wouldn’t fight Midnight, Stevie used the slapjack on both of them. It caused fights between the brothers, so they tried to settle it. Stevie wrestled Midnight. If he won, she would leave. But if Midnight succeeded, she could stay. Midnight beat him, and it appeared Stevie would reconcile with his brother. However, he once again slapjacked Booker and Midnight. Stevie accused Booker of selling out and forgetting his roots. This led to Booker vs. Stevie vs. Midnight. Stevie eliminated himself to make Booker and Midnight wrestle each other. When they wouldn’t, Stevie knocked Booker out. So Midnight rolled an unconscious Booker on top of her and let him win. In response, Stevie slapjacked Midnight in the face.

The Match: Booker scores an early Harlem Sidekick, so Stevie regroups. But when he returns, Booker does the jumping forearm. So Stevie takes the fight outside and they whip each other into the rail. Back inside, Stevie lands a powerslam and grabs rear chinlocks. Once Booker escapes, Stevie attempts a Slapjack, but Booker backdrops him. Booker also nails a heel kick and axe kick before doing the Spinaroonie. Then Booker gives Stevie an uranage. (He isn’t calling it the Book End yet.) However, an old familiar face arrives to stop Booker. The former Ahmed Johnson attacks and causes a DQ.

Thoughts: It was okay before the disappointing finish, but it was pretty basic. They filled time until the run-in, and it showed. Also, Ahmed’s arrival means this storyline is about to become quite stupid. They had a good story before this, but not anymore.

Winner: Booker T (by DQ) (6:30)

Stevie gives his brother the Slapjack while Midnight runs to the ring. She hesitates to enter because she’s outnumbered. Then Stevie tells us Ahmed’s new name is Big T. He gives Booker the Pearl River Plunge before Stevie hands T the mic. Big T says he can’t believe Booker turned his back for a piece of fish! Also, Stevie tells everyone this is the new and improved Harlem Heat. As they leave, Midnight checks on Booker.

Afterward, we go to Mean Gene with Sid, who looks distressed by the previous segment. Gene says the championship committee gave Sid a chance to become WCW champion. But to do so, he has to face his good friend, Chris Benoit. Sid says Bret and the nWo did everything to tarnish the belt. And as far as Benoit, he will throw friendship out the window. Sid promises a war with Benoit to win the title.

Now Tank Abbott and Jerry Flynn arrive for their fight. Tony says this will have shoot fighting rules. You can only win by knockout or submission.

Shoot Fighting Rules Match: Tank Abbott vs. Jerry Flynn

Storyline: Abbott and Flynn had a No Holds Barred fight after Starrcade, but it ended in chaos. Security handcuffed Flynn, so Tank took cheap shots. Then Abbott had bouts with La Parka and Shane, and Jerry Flynn faced Bret Hart. The nWo used their bats on Flynn, which allowed Abbott to sneak attack him. But Flynn got his revenge after Elizabeth maced Tank Abbott while he fought with Luger. Meanwhile, WCW fined Abbott $25,000 for punching Dillinger twice. So Tank offered Dillinger a free shot at him. When Doug took it, Tank tackled him and security cuffed Abbott again. Finally, they arrested Tank and Jerry for yet another brawl. The cops put them in the same cell and acted shocked when they started fighting! (On a side note, they originally announced this as a Block match, but that changed.)

The Match: They tussle into the corners, and Tank throws body blows. So Flynn grabs front facelocks to stop him. After more wild punches, Tank powers out of another facelock and takes him to the mat. There, Flynn attempts cross armbreakers. Tank blocks each one until he powers Jerry up and over. Then Tank throws a haymaker that knocks Flynn out.

Thoughts: Worked shoot fights are never good. Wrestling is about aesthetics and presentation. You can get away with sloppiness in a real fight because people don’t care if it looks rough. It’s even worse when you make it look that way on purpose. This doesn’t work in wrestling. The fans couldn’t care less, and this was forgettable. Also, they’re about to follow this up with a Last Man Standing fight, which almost has the same rules. So it’s poor planning all around.

Winner: Tank Abbott (1:39)

Last Man Standing Match: Buff Bagwell vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Storyline: The Jersey Triad imploded because of Kanyon’s actions, but this was the least of DDP’s problems. Mean Gene started a rumor on his hotline. He claimed Bagwell had an affair with Kimberly while DDP filmed Ready to Rumble. Page said Bagwell never slept with his wife, but Buff hit on Kimberly at a bar. So Page refused to wrestle until WCW gave him a match with Bagwell. He got his wish and WCW made it a Last Man Standing contest. Later, Page goaded Buff into a fight by insulting him. Next, they met face-to-face, but Funk threatened to fine them if they scuffled within the first five minutes. They accused each other of infidelity until the time expired. Then they brawled, and Buff used a riot baton. Finally, Gene interviewed Kim. She evaded his questions and told people to mind their own business.

The Match: They brawl into the crowd. The action spills into the penalty boxes they use for hockey. Then they return to the ring and trade neckbreakers. But it doesn’t take long for them to end up on the floor again. This time, they move to the internet booth. Bagwell’s necklace breaks, so he throws it to Chad Damiani. Afterward, Buff and DDP smash the computer monitors together. Plus, DDP breaks a keyboard over Buff’s head. Later, they end up back in the ring. Buff throws strikes and scores a Vader Bomb and DDT. He even lands an exploder suplex and the Blockbuster! But DDP rises at the count of nine. Since that didn’t work, Buff uses the riot baton, but DDP stands! Finally, DDP stumbles into Buff and hits the Diamond Cutter. Tenay claims Buff blocked it, but that didn’t happen. However, Buff reaches his feet first and wins.

Thoughts: This started slow, but it picked up with the fight around the internet booth. Plus, they had some nice close calls toward the end. But it seems they botched the finish. The commentators swore Buff blocked the Diamond Cutter, and he rose first. It was obvious he didn’t block it. Bagwell reached for the ropes after the move landed, but it was too late.

Winner: Buff Bagwell (11:19)

Kimberly arrived as the match concluded, but she was too late. When Buff sees Kimberly, he talks to her. So DDP attacks Bagwell from behind. This appears to annoy Kimberly. She shakes her head and says something to Page. As DDP and Kim leave, they have an argument we can’t hear.

Afterward, it’s time for Kidman’s third encounter in the Triple Threat Theatre. This is a Caged Heat Match, which is WCW’s version of Hell in a Cell. Heenan says he’s never seen a cage like this in his life. I get the feeling he was being cheeky. Once Kidman enters the ring, Shane Douglas comes out to introduce Kidman’s mystery opponent. Shane brags about taking out the other members of the Animals. He also says they haven’t forgotten about Duggan. Next, Shane calls Kidman a cock—roach. (He paused for comedic effect. It didn’t work.) With that said, Shane introduces the mystery man. It’s The Wall, brother!

Caged Heat Match: The Wall (w/ Shane Douglas) vs. Kidman

Storyline: After Starrcade, The Wall faced Sid. The Wall won by DQ when Berlyn attacked him. So Sid powerbombed Berlyn and shook Wall’s hand. Next, WCW booked The Wall vs. DDP. Page refused to wrestle because WCW hadn’t granted him his fight with Bagwell. So The Wall wrestled Nash instead, and the nWo ambushed Wall with bats. EMTs tried to help Wall, but he pushed them away and trashed the backstage area. Later, The Wall fought Jerry Flynn and succeeded when Abbott knocked Flynn out. However, Tank jumped the Wall afterward. Meanwhile, Shane Douglas originally challenged the Animals to a six-man tag. He promised a mystery partner, which would have been The Wall. But these plans changed when they put Kidman in the Triple Threat Theatre.

The Match: Kidman uses dropkicks and chair shots while they lock the cage door. They have no effect, and Wall punches the chair into Kidman’s face. Next, The Wall climbs and flies, so Kidman dropkicks him out of the air! But Wall answers with a big boot, and Kidman regroups. While outside, Wall rams Kidman into the cage and throws him against it. Back inside, they fight on the top rope until Kidman scores a sunset bomb. After a two count, Wall lands a Samoan Drop and tries a suplex. Kidman reverses it into a DDT. Later, The Wall catches a sliding Kidman by the throat. He attempts a chokeslam, but Kidman turns it into a hurricanrana. Finally, Kidman comes off the top rope, so Wall catches him and nails the chokeslam for the win.

Thoughts: The Wall did a few nice power spots, but this wasn’t great. The cage played no factor into the match. Plus, Robinson called it like a normal fight. He did five counts when the Wall choked Kidman. You could hear Wall ask, “What the fuck are you doing?” Kidman looked good for wrestling three times, but that’s the biggest positive takeaway.

Winner: The Wall (5:03)

Hardcore Match for the WCW Commissioner Job: Kevin Nash vs. Terry Funk

Storyline: Funk told Nash they could do things the easy way or the hard way. In response, the nWo targeted David Flair, took Daffney hostage, and did the same to Arn Anderson. So Funk and David Flair countered by threatening Jarrett. During the stand-off, Nash challenged Funk. If Funk wins, the nWo disbands. But if Nash succeeds, he becomes commissioner. Later, Funk fought Bret in a Hardcore fight, but Nash powerbombed Funk through the stage. As a result, Funk rehired Zbyszko and Orndorff as backup. They called themselves the Old Age Outlaws. Plus, Funk cost Nash & Steiner a victory in the Lethal Lottery. Funk also branded Nash with his branding iron. Finally, it appeared the nWo turned on Bret. Nash beat up Bret, burned his tights, and cut his hair. But Funk saw through the ruse, so Bret and Nash attacked Funk and Anderson with bats.

The Match: Nash meets Funk in the aisle, and they exchange strikes. When Terry gets the advantage, Nash pokes his eyes. He then attacks and bloodies Funk with a chair. Plus, Nash Jackknifes Funk on the announce table. While Terry is down, Nash gets a mic. He says if Funk can crawl into the ring, he will let Funk have the commissioner job. However, Nash reveals he lied when Terry makes it. Next, Funk scores a DDT and trades low blows and chair shots with Nash. Terry also sets up three chairs, but it backfires. Nash throws another low blow and Jackknifes Funk onto the chairs. It’s enough for the win.

Thoughts: I liked the story they told. Plus, Funk’s selling was great, as always. This was short and to the point, so I enjoyed this. Was it a great match? No, it wasn’t. But it did what it needed to do.

Winner: Kevin Nash (7:59)

The commentators can’t believe Nash is the new commissioner. Meanwhile, Benoit and Sid warm up backstage.

Scott Hudson interviews the referee for the main event, Arn Anderson. Arn commiserates about the new commissioner, but he is confident Nash will have no say in the outcome of this match. Then Arn says he should have been there for Funk. No one realizes how badly they lost. In fact, the situation flusters Arn to the point he stumbles over his words. He calls Nash Kevin Man. (This sounds like the world’s worst superhero.) All Arn knows is WCW still has the belt, so the nWo doesn’t have full control. Benoit vs. Sid isn’t the match he signed to officiate, but he will make sure there is a winner. When Sid and Benoit settle it in the ring, there won’t be any losers. There will only be winners, and Arn will see to this. With that said, Arn hopes Funk is okay.

Now Buffer introduces the bout. He says this is for the vacant, undisputed heavyweight championship. (Can a title be undisputed if it’s vacant? That sounds disputed.) Buffer also messes up the word television while introducing Benoit. Plus, Buffer claims Sid is a former world champion looking to regain his belt. (Did he confuse the WWF and WCW titles? Sid hasn’t held the WCW gold yet.) Finally, Arn tells them to make the company proud and give everyone the fight they want.

WCW Title Match: Chris Benoit vs. Sid Vicious

Storyline: After Starrcade, Benoit and Jarrett had a return Ladder Match. Jarrett won the US Title after someone sabotaged Benoit’s ladder so the rungs broke. Meanwhile, the nWo trashed Sid’s rental car. Then they put him inside and ran it over with a monster truck. Afterward, Sid wore a neck brace, but he didn’t stop fighting. Funk gave Sid a US championship shot in a powerbomb contest with Jarrett. It ended in DQ because the nWo attacked. So Funk made Jarrett wrestle three times. He would have a normal bout, a Bunkhouse Brawl, and a cage fight. His opponents were George Steele, Tito Santana, and Jimmy Snuka! Benoit officiated all three and cost Jeff the victories. But Jarrett suffered a concussion when Snuka and Benoit dived off the cage onto him. Finally, Nash & Jarrett faced Benoit & Sid. The nWo won with shenanigans, so Sid brawled with them.

The Match: Wrestlers come out to watch as Sid and Benoit trade knockdowns. Then Sid press slams Benoit and hits a release front suplex. So Benoit changes his strategy. He targets Sid’s leg with low dropkicks and leg work. This leads to a Figure Four, but Sid reverses it. After a snap suplex and dragon screw, Benoit puts Sid in a Mutalock. When Sid escapes, they exchange more strikes inside and outside the ring. Later, Sid blocks rolling Germans, but Benoit scores a heel hook. This lasts until Sid gets a rope break. Next, Benoit lands the flying headbutt only for Sid to power out of the pin at two! Afterward, Sid nails a chokeslam. However, Benoit’s foot is under the rope during the cover. This gives Benoit the opening to grab the Crossface and Sid taps. His foot was also under the rope, but Arn missed it.

Thoughts: This was a great match. That’s twice Benoit has given Sid one of his best fights. But I won’t take anything from Sid. His selling was good in this. Also, it’s nice to see Benoit finally get his due, but it’s too little, too late. Benoit didn’t want to work in WCW with Kevin Sullivan in charge. So Benoit relinquishes the title and heads to the WWF. He takes Eddie Guerrero, Dean Malenko, and Saturn with him. Sullivan put the belt on Chris, hoping to change his mind. It didn’t work.

Winner: Chris Benoit (New Champion) (14:53)

During the replay, Schiavone notices Sid’s foot was under the ropes. But he still sounds happy for Benoit.

Afterward, Gene interviews Benoit. He says it was a long journey since Chris trained with Stu Hart in the dungeon. He wrestled all over the world, and now he is a world champion! First, Benoit congratulates Sid for a hell of a fight. Next, Chris talks about the Dynamite Kid igniting a passion for wrestling within him. Benoit also says he overcame the doubters. As he says this, Arn Anderson joins them and praises Benoit and Sid’s performances. But then Nash interrupts. He calls Benoit the Canadian hero. Nash tells Benoit to enjoy the next hour and forty minutes. Because at midnight, Benoit’s life becomes a living hell. After saying this, Nash gives a sarcastic apology for putting a turd in Chris’s punch bowl. So Benoit says, “From the little turd, to the big turd, best of luck!” And with that, Tony predicts a train wreck as the show ends.

The Good:

• Sid/Benoit was good.

• I enjoyed Nash/Funk.

The Bad:

• Oklahoma!

• Tank/Flynn was bad.

• Malenko’s unfortunate mistake.

Observations:

• Arn Anderson not only officiated a Sid match, he also praised him. Did Sid and Arn bury the hatchet when Sid returned to WCW?

• Why does the WWE Network dub over David Flair & Crowbar’s theme? It always sounded generic to me. I don’t think it’s a rip-off of anything.

• I must correct myself on something I said in my last WCW review. Bret Hart didn’t work two weeks after his concussion. He was on all four weeks of TV, and he wrestled multiple matches. So I see why he had to retire.

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to Terry Funk. I loved his selling during the Nash match. Plus, he took some nasty bumps, as usual.

Final Thoughts:

This wasn’t a good show. The final two matches were nice, but they didn’t save the PPV. I know it isn’t all WCW’s fault. Injuries dealt them a rough hand. Plus, a new creative team had to wrap up Russo’s storylines. So I’ll give this event some slack. But it still wasn’t great.

Thank you for reading. My next review is the WWF’s Royal Rumble 2000. Look for it next Sunday!