Royal Rumble ’97

(All screen captures are the property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

Royal Rumble

January 19, 1997

Alamodome

San Antonio, Texas

News & Notes: Everyone is gunning for the WWF title. Bret Hart believed Shawn Michaels screwed him at It’s Time. Sid said he beat both Bret and Shawn, so there’s no competition left. The Undertaker took exception to that statement and confronted Sid. Meanwhile, Shawn can regain his belt in his hometown of San Antonio. (I love interlocking storylines. It’s something missing in modern wrestling storytelling.) Shawn’s opportunity takes place at the Alamodome. WCW was on a winning streak in the ratings, so Vince tried proving the WWF could still draw big crowds. It’s an impressive sight. 60,000+ packed the dome. But the WWF gave away 13,000+ free tickets and sold the rest at a discount price. To give some perspective, an MSG house show later in the year made more money than this event. Perception is everything. The Royal Rumble gave the illusion the WWF was doing better than they were. Vince tried filling the dome in every way he could. I mentioned the AAA partnership in my last review. Pierroth, Cibernetico, Latin Lover, Hector Garza, Canek, Perro Aguayo, Fuerza Guerrera, Heavy Metal, and Jerry Estrada all appear. But the biggest get was Mexican legend, Mil Mascaras. Vince also added Texas legend, Terry Funk. (He wrestled for ECW. The working relationship with that company allowed the crossover.)

In other news, the WWF started a new show called Shotgun Saturday Night. It’s another attempt at an edgier product. The program aired late at night on Saturdays. They emanated from unique venues such as bars and subway stations. Brian Pillman provided wild commentary. We also saw strange segments, like Sunny frolicking with Pettengill in an Elmo costume. (I’m serious.) It’s a strange show. If you can find a copy, watch it

We open with a video package about Shawn Michaels and Sid. Sure, he was a cocky and brash showman in his youth. But HBK grew up! (Yeah, right.) Shawn realized his dream at WrestleMania. However, Survivor Series was the true defining moment. Shawn put aside the title out of concern for his friend. Sid’s actions forced Michaels to change. It shattered his poor innocence! The narrator claims tonight isn’t about ego or accolades. It’s about justice, redemption, and rebirth. San Antonio’s favorite son returns home a man! (The irony is strong in this opening video.)

Fireworks explode while they play knock-off Bonanza music. Vince welcomes everyone to San Antonio. A fan gives me a headache with her constant whistling. Vince and JR sell the grandeur of the event. Lawler smiles because he believes Sid will shut Shawn Michaels’ mouth. Then Vince introduces the Spanish and French announce teams. (They have extra commentary tables. You know one will break.)

Goldust enters the arena and they show a recap of the Goldust/Helmsley feud. Hunter is arrogant. He believes he’s better than everyone else. All women want him. Goldust is a bizarre enigma. Until recently, he left the truth up to our imagination. But jealousy outted him. Jerry Lawler got Goldust to admit he’s not gay. (I say he went in, not out. It’s the opposite of coming out of the closet.) Hunter attempted to abduct Marlena. It was a trap. Todd Pettengill asks about everyone’s motivations. Who is playing games? Is this Goldust’s finest performance? Is the Intercontinental title his true desire?

Intercontinental Title Match: Hunter Hearst Helmsley (c) (w/ Mr. Hughes) vs. Goldust (w/ Marlena)

Notes: Goldust turned babyface. He grew tired of Hunter hitting on Marlena and confronted him. This confused Jerry Lawler. He asked Goldust what his deal was. Was he—you know? Goldust asked what Jerry meant, so Lawler said, “Are you queer?” Goldust said, “No!” It’s sad the WWF felt this was the way to turn him good. It was a different time. It did more to confuse fans than bring them to his side. Meanwhile, Helmsley has a new bodyguard. It’s Mr. Hughes! (I hope he doesn’t fall asleep. He has that narcosleepy condition. Let’s see who gets that reference.) He doesn’t last long in this role. Hunter finds someone else soon. But we’ll discuss her later. (I also want to point out Pettengill interviews country star Collin Raye during this bout. Why do that during a match?)

The Match: Goldust jumps Hunter and they brawl in the aisle. The fight spills out of the ring more than once, and Goldust uses the steps. (Why isn’t that a DQ?) Goldust keeps cutting off Helmsley’s comebacks with clotheslines and axehandles. He also attacks Hunter’s leg after Helmsley collides with the barricade. He puts Triple H in the Figure Four and grabs the ropes. The ref catches Goldust. Then Goldust continues the knee attack until he tumbles on a missed crossbody. Hunter returns the favor with the steps and tries using Marlena’s chair. The ref decides that’s too far. He stops him. (Way to be consistent!) However, Hunter’s knee is still a problem. Hughes passes Triple H the IC belt, so Marlena counters with a distraction. Hunter kisses her! This allows Goldust to grab the belt and nail Helmsley. But Hughes saves Triple H from a pin. Goldust then dispatches Hughes with Marlena’s cigar. The distraction allows Hunter to land the Pedigree for the win.

Thoughts: This was slow. I liked some of the action and storytelling. But it wasn’t great. However, I will commend Hunter’s selling of the knee. It was top-notch. Also, the referee’s decisions were odd. Even the commentators didn’t understand why Hebner allowed the cheating. I wanted to like this bout, but it wasn’t well executed.

Winner: Hunter Hearst Helmsley (16:50)

Bret Hart has comments about the Rumble. He says he’s a marked man, but it’s nothing new. He’s always been a marked man. There’s no turning back. He already took too many steps in that direction. There will be no stopping him in the Rumble. Only one man will stand in the end. It will be him.

Meanwhile, Mankind is in the boiler room. He sits on the floor and speaks about the Rumble. Most people see it as an opportunity for a title match at Mania. Mankind sees it as a chance to hurt people he doesn’t like and some he likes. It’s going to be a nice day!

The Nation of Domination enters the arena. Then they recap the Ahmed/Faarooq rivalry. We see clips of Ahmed telling Faarooq he’s going down. Pettengill speaks about Ahmed’s breakout year in 1996. He won a Slammy Award and the first-ever Kuwait National Championship! He also won the Intercontinental title. But Faarooq ended that run when he ruptured Johnson’s kidney. Now, this turf war turned personal! Ahmed promises to settle it either in or out of the ring. Faarooq found reinforcements in the Nation of Domination. They are an army of mercenaries, but Ahmed is a lone soldier. Can the power of one overcome the strength of a nation?

Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq (w/ The Nation of Domination)

Notes: They built this confrontation for months. Injuries prevented it from happening until now. We saw the amazing and incomprehensible promo at It’s Time. Since then, Ahmed saved various wrestlers from the Nation using his trusty 2×4. (Hacksaw Jim Duggan better call his lawyers.) Also, Faarooq increased the Nation’s entourage. It now includes a young D’Lo Brown, but he isn’t named yet. They also added an unnamed woman.

The Match: Ahmed rushes the ring and tackles Faarooq. The fight spills to the floor and Johnson rams Faarooq into the post. Crush tries passing Faarooq a belt. Ahmed gets it and whips Faarooq. Then they spill to the floor again, where Faarooq shoves D’Lo into Ahmed. Faarooq then targets Ahmed’s kidney area. He drops him onto the back of a chair! Faarooq continues the attack with stomps, punches, and a rear chinlock. He jumps on Johnson’s back until Ahmed lifts him into an electric chair drop. Ahmed also catches Faarooq in a powerslam off the ropes. Next, both men trade spinebusters. Ahmed gains the advantage, so the Nation interferes and causes a DQ.

Thoughts: This was another slow match with decent storytelling. There were aspects I liked. But the lame finish killed what was already a below-average match. I get they’re continuing the feud. It’s fine. Ahmed should chase the big win. However, this was forgettable. Also, the questionable officiating continues. At least they’re consistent.

Winner: Ahmed Johnson (by DQ) (8:48)

Ahmed fends off The Nation. He presses one member of PG-13 out of the ring and chases Faarooq. Johnson almost catches him, so another Nation member cuts him off. Ahmed takes the poor guy to the French announce table and puts him through it with a Pearl River Plunge. (I told you!)

Terry Funk speaks about the Rumble. He says the other wrestlers are bigger, faster, younger, and stronger. But this is his state! Terry Funk is Texas-bred and Texas-fed. He was born to rumble!

Then Todd interviews Faarooq and The Nation. Pettengill says what we saw was just incredible. (I don’t see Justin Credible in this segment. What is Todd talking about?) Todd says it’s the first shot in a war with Ahmed Johnson. Clarence Mason agrees, but Faarooq interrupts. He berates the Nation members for not helping enough. Faarooq tells the woman and a random man he will deal with them later. (D’Lo looks worried.) Faarooq then warns Ahmed he will put him away if he sees him in the Rumble. He calls Johnson an Uncle Tom and leaves. (I also want to point out Todd’s ridiculous new look. The goatee isn’t working.)

Vader vs. The Undertaker

Notes: Most of the build happened on Superstars. Vader attacked The Undertaker for no apparent reason. Jim Cornette cut a promo on Taker. He said Vader would put Taker in a body bag. But Taker chokeslammed Cornette and put him inside it. They did this to write Jim off TV so he could focus on the creative team. (Cornette tells a funny story about this. They were apparently a bit rough carrying him to the back.) Vader gets a new manager. You’ll know who by the end of this match. (On a side note, Todd Pettengill interviews a random teenage girl during this bout. She saved her babysitting money to follow Shawn Michaels around the country. That’s creepy. What’s the point of this interview?)

The Match: Vader hesitates, but then he jumps Taker. Undertaker absorbs and evades the strikes. Vader answers with more clotheslines and avalanche attacks. Taker keeps rising, so Vader regroups. Then they fight on the floor and the apron. Vader hotshots Taker. But Taker responds with a form of a Fameasser, a slam, and a leg drop. He then attempts Old School, but Vader crotches Taker. Vader continues his attack with more ball shots and a nerve hold. Taker counters with a back suplex and catches Vader in a powerslam. However, Taker ducks, and Vader powerbombs him. Taker kicks out and rises again! He finally lands Old School and nails a chokeslam. This draws out Paul Bearer. Taker clotheslines Vader out of the ring. He then flips over the ropes and punches Bearer in the face! Bearer begs off until Vader attacks. They tumble to the floor, where Taker crashes on the rail on a missed splash. Bearer uses this opening to crack Taker with the urn. (He dove off the apron and fell. I laughed.) Taker rolls into the ring, but Vader hits a Vader Bomb for the victory.

Thoughts: It was a decent big man match, but it was another slow one. Vader’s conditioning is off. He was winded for much of the bout. I liked some of the action and the finish. But it was lackluster for what I expected. This is a running theme on the show.

Winner: Vader (13:19)

Vader and Paul Bearer leave together. Bearer points at his head to say he’s smart. Lawler calls it a match made in heaven. Ross believes it’s a match made in hell. Meanwhile, Taker recovers and chokeslams the ref in anger. He kicks the ropes and throws chairs. Then Taker confronts Vince and yells at him. We can’t hear what he says. (It won’t be the last time someone yells at Vince on the program.)

Next, we see Stone Cold backstage. He complains the cameramen are where they don’t belong. Steve says he’s not talking to anybody until he throws 29 pieces of trash over the top rope. Austin tells him to take the camera and stick it. He also tells him to cut. That’s it. The conversation is over.

Then we see The British Bulldog arrive at the arena. He says he has a history in the Rumble. Davey asks the fans who will win. They cheer. Bulldog then says the greatest line in Rumble history. He says, “I’m going to make history by winning the Rumble tonight. Because I’m bizarre!” (What a strange reason. I thought Goldust was the bizarre one. Davey stole his gimmick!)

Hector Garza, Canek, & Perro Aguayo vs. Fuerza Guerrera, Heavy Metal, & Jerry Estrada

Notes: Since Konnan took most of the best young talent from AAA to WCW, the WWF got the leftovers and older stars. This is Perro Aguayo Senior. His son wrestled a dark match. He’s not the only father in this bout. Fuerza Guerrera is the dad of Juventud Guerrera. (I bet Vince invited him for that reason.) Vince appealed to the Hispanic audience to sell more tickets in San Antonio. As this match progresses, you can hear Vince lose all desire to continue this partnership.

The Match: Garza and Heavy Metal start the match with athletic reversals and mat holds. But Perro and Estrada slow it down. They trade chops until Perro fakes a dive. Then Guerrera misses a senton and Canek lands a flying crossbody. Next, Garza and Metal return for more flips and flying arm drags. However, Estrada and Canek do a long test of strength. They also trade dropkicks and arm drags. Perro and Guerrera fight next, but Fuerza tumbles out of the ring. Canek and Garza take over and focus on Metal’s leg. Garza uses submissions, such as an STF. Perro follows with a senton and continues the leg work on Heavy Metal. Then Canek gets in trouble, but he fends off double-teaming. Meanwhile, Perro runs the ropes for a tope. He stops before diving and climbs onto the apron. He then slowly does an axehandle. (That was amusing.) Garza makes up for this with a twisting body press to the floor. Back in the ring, Perro botches a double stomp. He recovers with an elbow drop for the win.

Thoughts: This is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think this was as bad as some say. There were some fun spots. They botched the finish, but the rest wasn’t terrible. The younger stars shined. The older guys did some amusing things. I can see why Vince didn’t continue the partnership. But I didn’t hate this. Vince should have partnered with a different company that wasn’t already gutted. Michinoku Pro would have been a good choice. They go to them later in the year.

Winners: Garza, Canek, & Aguayo (10:56)

30-Man Royal Rumble Match

Notes: The Fink announces the attendance of 60,477. (For once, this is lower than the actual number.) Then he lists the rules for the Rumble Match. They say the entrants come every ninety seconds, but it varies. Fireworks explode while The Nation of Domination theme plays. Crush is #1. In a total coincidence, Ahmed Johnson is #2! (I should also point out they have technical issues in this Rumble. Sometimes the clock doesn’t work. Other times, music doesn’t play.)

The Match: Crush and Ahmed brawl until “Razor Ramon” enters at #3. (There’s no clock or music.) Ahmed throws him out within seconds. But Ahmed eliminates himself to chase Faarooq when he appears in the aisle. (What an idiot.) #4 is Phineas Godwinn. He fights with Crush until Stone Cold enters at #5. Austin hits Crush by accident, but he doesn’t care. Phineas eliminates Crush and eats a Stunner. Austin then throws him out as Bart Gunn arrives at #6. Austin clotheslines him to the floor after two tries and does some push-ups. He pretends to check his watch as Jake Roberts enters at #7. #8 is the bizarre Bulldog. Austin tosses Roberts as Davey joins the fight. He gives Austin a powerslam before AAA’s Pierroth comes out at #9. Austin and Bulldog hit him with stomps and forearms. But Bulldog attacks Steve. Then we get The Sultan at #10.

#11 is Mil Mascaras. He trades chops with The Sultan. Then Triple H joins the fray at #12 and Bulldog sends The Sultan packing. Next is Owen Hart at #13. Vince calls him Bret’s stinking rotten brother. Davey stops Austin from eliminating Owen. But Owen dumps Bulldog. He claims it was an accident. #14 is Goldust. He fights with Austin. Then AAA’s Cibernetico enters the ring at #15. Mascaras tries removing his mask. #16 brings us Marc Mero while Mil dumps Pierroth and Cibernetico. Mascaras then eliminates himself by diving off the top rope. (He did this because he refused to be eliminated by anyone. He’s a notorious egomaniac.) Next, Goldust clotheslines Hunter out of the ring. #17 is Latin Lover. He throws a superkick party. Then Owen dumps Goldust before Faarooq enters at #18. He backdrops Latin Lover out of the ring. But Ahmed arrives with a huge 2×4. He sends Faarooq over the ropes and chases him down the aisle. While this happens, Austin eliminates Mero and Owen. But Austin’s old rival Savio Vega joins him at #19. Vega shows fire until Austin clotheslines him out of the ring. #20 is Double J Jesse James. Jesse punches and struts, but Austin eliminates him.

Then Austin rests on the turnbuckles. When he hears Bret Hart’s music at #21, he makes a great facial expression. (See the screen cap.) They trade punches and clotheslines. Bret puts Austin in a Sharpshooter while Jerry Lawler enters at #22. He says it takes a king and enters the ring. Bret immediately punches him out of the match. Lawler returns to commentary and finishes his sentence. #23 is “Diesel”. He attacks Bret. Next, Terry Funk joins them at #24. Rocky Maivia follows at #25. We get Mankind next at #26. He goes after Funk. #27 is Flash Funk. (This is confusing. There are two Funks.) Then Vader arrives at #28. He clubs Flash and Austin. #29 brings us Henry Godwinn. Finally, The Undertaker enters at #30.

Taker attacks everyone and hands out chokeslams. Then Vader sends Flash Funk over the ropes with a fallaway slam. Next, Taker choke tosses Godwinn out of the ring. Rocky Maivia tries a crossbody, but Mankind locks in a Mandible Claw and pushes Rocky over the ropes. Then Mankind and Terry Funk tumble to the apron. Mankind suplexes Funk to the floor and Taker sends Mankind to join him. This leads to a brawl between Funk and Mankind. All the officials deal with them, so they miss Bret throwing Stone Cold out. Austin realizes no one saw him and enters the ring. He dumps Taker and Vader while Bret eliminates “Diesel”. Then Austin throws Bret out and the refs declare him the winner.

Thoughts: I thought this was one of the better Rumbles I’ve covered. It didn’t have much downtime. Austin put in a dominant performance. Plus, I like the story of the finish. It makes Stone Cold look crafty. It also furthers Bret’s character development. (You’ll see why in a moment.) This is a big moment in Austin’s journey. The referee’s decision is final. However, they strip Austin of the title opportunity because of the controversy. They book a Final Four Match for the next PPV. It pits Austin against the men he illegally eliminated. (That’s why “Diesel” isn’t involved.) The winner gets the WWF title match at Mania. (They alter that stipulation, but I’ll explain why in the Final Four review.)

Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin (50:29)

Bret Hart is furious! He yells at the refs and shoves them. Austin leaves because he knows this is a volatile situation. Bret then heads to the announce table. He grabs Vince by the jacket and screams at him. Bret says he eliminated Stone Cold. He demands Vince do something about it. Jim Ross tells Bret he saw what happened. Bret calls it bullshit and storms away from the ring. Lawler suggests they suspend Bret for life.

Next, they recap the Shawn Michaels/Sid feud. The narrator speaks about bad attitudes. At Survivor Series, Sid attacked Shawn’s mentor. Both men acted on instinct. Sid’s was a killer instinct. He offered no apologies. They announced the Rumble is in San Antonio. Shawn called it a great opportunity to regain the title in his hometown. 70,000 people will see him do it. But nothing is sacred to Sid. He attacked Jose’s son. Todd questions which monster is unleashed. Is it Shawn or Sid?

Then we see Jim Ross interview a flu-ridden Shawn on Superstars. He says he’s excited and nervous. But he will be ready. Shawn brings up Sid’s attack on Jose and his son. Shawn claims Jose means more to him than anyone except his parents. (According to Jim Cornette, that’s a lie. Shawn treated Jose poorly.) Shawn says Sid snaps when threatened. Michaels warns Sid. He claims 70,000 fans will threaten him. He may not feel well, but he will feel like the WWF champion when it’s over.

WWF Title Match: Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario) vs. Sycho Sid (c)

Notes: Shawn had the flu. He spent most of the day sleeping in Vince’s office. They show Shawn and Jose walking backstage. The WWF announced this is the final time Lothario will join Shawn. It’s becoming too dangerous for him. (Plus, the pairing ran its course.) Jim Ross says Shawn’s family and friends are there in the arena. He must be nervous. Shawn gets a good reaction. Sid is mostly booed, but he gets some cheers too. He hands out fist-bumps, so Vince and JR point out he has his fans. Sid says he smells a powerbomb. (What does that smell like?)

The Match: Sid starts with punches and kicks. Shawn answers with a crossbody and rams Sid’s head into the mat. Then they spill to the floor and run each other into the rail and apron. Next, Sid catches Shawn in a powerslam and focuses on his back. He whips Michaels into an upside-down bump and rams him into the post. Then Sid wears down Shawn with rear chinlocks and bear hugs. Michaels breaks free, but Sid grabs the hold again. Shawn rallies once more with a jumping forearm and a flying elbow. But Sid catches Sweet Chin Music and backdrops Shawn over the ropes. He then nails Michaels with a soft powerbomb outside the ring. However, Sid takes a moment to grab Jose and Pete Lothario. Shawn stops him. They return to the ring and the ref is wiped out. Another one arrives while Sid hits a chokeslam. But Shawn kicks out. Sid punches the new ref in anger. Shawn uses the opening to hit Sid with a TV camera twice! Sid kicks out because Hebner is slow on the count. But Shawn follows with Sweet Chin Music for the victory.

Thoughts: This wasn’t as good as their Survivor Series bout, but I still enjoyed it. I liked the story of the match. Sid working Shawn’s back made sense. My only gripe is Shawn stopped selling it pretty quickly. It was still a decent match, and the crowd reacted well to it.

Winner: Shawn Michaels (New Champion) (13:49)

Jim Ross says the kid came home and won the WWF title. He defeated the monster. Jose celebrates with Michaels while they show Shawn’s parents applauding. Then Shawn bows to the title and the fans. Vince sings Shawn’s praises while Michaels spends a while talking with the crowd. His music loops as the celebration continues. The whistling lady annoys me again. Someone holds up a sign telling Shawn to keep his pants on. (I agree.) Shawn even hugs Vince and twerks on him, so McMahon does his trademark fake laugh.

The Good:

• The Rumble Match was fun.

• Austin had a great performance.

• There was some good storyline progression.

• Bulldog’s promo.

The Bad:

• The undercard was underwhelming.

• Doing interviews during matches.

• The finish of Ahmed/Faarooq.

Performer of the Night:

I’m giving it to Stone Cold. This was his night. He had a dominant performance in the Rumble. Austin eliminated ten men. It was the record until Kane breaks it in 2001.

Final Thoughts:

The Rumble and the main event were good. But the rest of the show was lackluster. Important things happened on this PPV, but it wasn’t great. Half the matches involved brawling on the floor. There wasn’t much variety. It’s another example of the disappointing midcard. The top tier is fine. Everything else needs work.

Thank you for reading. My next review is nWo Souled Out ’97. Look for it next Sunday!