WrestleMania

“Hey fools! Mr. T here! As you all know, Mother’s Day is coming up soon. So, remember to be good to your mama! She’s somebody, not somebody’s fool! Love your mama. Not just your mama, but everyone’s mama! My mama, his mama, her mama, Big Mama, Little Mama, Mama Cass, Mama’s Family, The Mamas & The Papas, Mama told me not to come, Mom, Mr. Mom, Stop or my Mom will shoot, Mother, Mother may I, Mother Mary, Mother jugs and speed, Mother Mother, and some mother lovin’ snakes on a mother lovin’ plane! I could go on. I’ve got a lotta mo’, but that’s enough jibber-jabber! On with the show!”

(All screen captures are property of World Wrestling Entertainment)

WrestleMania

March 31, 1985

Madison Square Garden

New York, NY

I have been showcasing the events of the NWA in my last two reviews, but now it’s time to head up north to see what’s going on in the WWF. JCP offered two large events on closed-circuit television, but Vince McMahon thought he could do it bigger, better, and with more celebrities. It’s time for the first-ever WrestleMania.

The show opens with a slide show of still photos for each of the matches and each of the celebrities for the night’s event. They oddly cropped Andre’s photo for some reason. I guess Andre had been through a bad break-up and wanted his ex cropped out of the picture. In the arena, Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura welcome us to the show. Jesse is wearing an adorable pink frilly tuxedo, but Gorilla is dresses a little more sensibly. I would imagine that sentence sounds fairly odd to a non-fan.

Howard Finkel then introduces us to the man who will sing the national anthem. I wonder what world renowned singer they brought in to…oh, it’s Mean Gene. Well, he did do that cover of “Tutti Frutti”. Apparently, the original singer backed out of the event at the last second, but we have never found out their identity. Gene does a passable rendition of the anthem, but he has to consult cue cards.

Lord Alfred Hayes is standing in the middle of the entryway and he looks both nervous and awkward. He talks a little about our opening match-up, before introducing some pre-taped interviews with the participants.

First, we have Gene interviewing Tito Santana, who says he knows nothing about his opponent, The Executioner. He does, however, say that he knows that this man has never been in the WWF. Hold on a second. If he doesn’t know anything about him then how does he know he’s never been in the WWF? I don’t think you’re being very honest, Mr. Santana! Tito says that he respects every opponent that he goes up against, but he’s got goals and no one will stop him from accomplishing them. He then says that he will show the Executioner what it’s like to be in the big leagues, before finishing with a hearty “Arriba”.

Next, Gene is with the Executioner, whose mask makes him look like the love child of Strong Bad and Bane. He reiterates that no one knows anything about him, but they will know something about him after he finishes with Tito. At least, that’s what he tried to say, but he stumbled a bit. He says that he’s going to go after the leg that Greg Valentine injured. He tells us that there’s a reason that Valentine injured it, but he never reveals the reason. Apparently, the leg is the only thing he is going after. He is quite specific. He finishes by yelling, “I AM A BIG LEAGUER!!” How this gimmick never took off and got an endorsement deal with Big League Chew is beyond me.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

The Executioner is actually Playboy Buddy Rose under a mask. I’m not exactly sure why. They bill him as being from Parts Unknown and list his weight as “???”. I imagine he stepped on the scale and his weight confused it. That Blow Away Diet had some strange results.

The two men start off with a little criss-cross action and I notice that the ropes are ridiculously loose for this event. I spent the whole night worrying about the competitors. Tito gets a back body drop and a dropkick early and knocks the Executioner to the outside, where he lands on a cameraman. The two men get back in and go to a side headlock to have a chat for a bit.

Executioner takes control and goes after the leg, as promised. He is at least a man of his word. He uses the stepover toehold a few times, but can’t get a submission. When he’s not attacking the leg, he spends his time adjusting his mask and tights. Buddy is clearly not comfortable in this mask. He does some more leg work, but Tito manages to shove him over the top rope to end the assault. Tito eventually hits the flying forearm and locks in a Figure Four for the submission win.

It felt like they were on their way to telling a good story with the match. What we got wasn’t bad, but they didn’t give it enough time to breathe and develop. I feel that if they had more time it could have been a really good match, but alas it was just a short but decent opener.

Winner: Tito Santana

Lord Alfred is still in the entryway and we see that the wrestlers are having to walk around him. I’m not sure why they chose that to be his spot. S.D. Jones walks behind him, as he introduces some more pre-taped interviews.

Special Delivery Jones is with Mean Gene. Gene says that if Jones isn’t ready for King Kong Bundy now then he never will be. Jones frequently tells us that he’s there to get down and that this is the moment he’s been waiting for. He calls Bundy the biggest thing in town and then says something about stooping the music, whatever that means. He then tells all the fans to buy hats and things. I guess he’s shilling merchandise.

Next, we have a short interview with King Kong Bundy and Jimmy Hart. Hart says that Bundy is ready and calls him “baby”. Bundy, without his shirt on, does kind of look like a big baby. Bundy says that it’s fitting that the biggest man in wrestling is on the biggest card. That’s nice that he thinks so much of Andre the Giant being on the card. He then tells S.D. to think about a few things, including The Avalanche. I’m not exactly sure what John Tenta has to do with this match, but okay.

King Kong Bundy w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Special Delivery Jones

They bill Bundy at a bit over 400 pounds, but Gorilla says it’s closer to 500 pounds. Jesse jokes that you could use Bundy’s back as a drive-in movie screen, which gets a good laugh from Gorilla.

Jones bounces off the ropes and jumps into a short bear hug, but Bundy pushes him into the corner, Avalanche splash, splash on the mat, 1-2-3, and that’s it.

The commentators claim that this match was 9 seconds. Anyone paying attention could tell that is demonstrably not true. They say that Bundy beat the previous record of 23 seconds, so I decided to do my own count. The count that I got was…well, look at that, 23 seconds. What a coincidence. I’m guessing that Jones was too slow in getting up and messed up the plans, but we will never know. It’s one of those great exaggerations that WWF/WWE did. This match was nothing more than a squash to put over Bundy.

Winner: King Kong Bundy

Mean Gene is backstage with Maniac Matt Borne. He’s wearing sunglasses indoors at night. What a clown! Gene says that Borne has his work cut out for him with Steamboat. Matt does a lot of pointing with both hands, as he tells Gene something. He says he has an opportunity to beat a man people know worldwide…for his time in the NWA. Okay, he didn’t add that last part. He says that Steamboat is one of the best, BUT he’s missing one quality. He’s too nice. Wait…does he mean that he’s missing the quality of being too nice? This confused me. I’m going to need some sentence diagramming to figure out this one.

Next, Gene is with Steamboat. He tells Ricky that he has a big test tonight. If the test is over grammar or sentence structure, then I think Steamboat has him beat. Steamboat says that it’s a test for him and for everyone involved today because this is wrestling’s biggest extravaganza. He then talks about how Borne said he was lacking meanness. Oh…so that’s what Borne meant to say. Ricky says that he came to the WWF to develop that meanness and he’s going to start with Borne. This was a much better promo than the ones Steamboat was doing in the NWA. I see someone has been working with him.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Fink announces the participants, while Borne takes off his t-shirt and starts slapping himself across the chest with it. He’s such a maniac! Gorilla remarks on Steamboat’s shape and says that he has never seen him look better. Steamboat hadn’t been in WWF for that long yet, so is Gorilla admitting to watching the NWA?

Steamboat takes control early through his quickness and martial arts skills. He ends up hitting an atomic drop on Borne and comically mocks his selling of the move. He keeps surprising Borne, by dropping behind him on back drop attempts, but soon he goes to a front facelock. A random fan yells out “boring”, so the two men mix it up a little. Borne takes control with a nice belly-to-belly suplex and hits a vertical suplex after giving us a nice loud “YAHHHHHH”. Steamboat retakes control with his athleticism and goes up top for a move. Borne hilariously sells his surprise, as Steamboat comes off the top with a flying cross body for a 3 count.

It was short, but it was a good showcase of Steamboat’s agility and skills. I wish they had a longer match because I could tell they probably would have had a good one.

Winner: Ricky Steamboat

Lord Alfred starts to tell us about the next match, but Johnny Valiant (RIP) walks by and tells him to “wake up”. He continues on, as we watch Borne walk up behind him and awkwardly try to exit the arena around Hayes. These segments are making for a lot of unnecessary awkwardness. Why didn’t someone move him somewhere else?

Gene is backstage in a pre-tape with David and Bruno Sammartino (RIP). Gene asks David if he’s ready for his match with Brutus Beefcake. He says that he is ready because his dad has been training him. He says that Beefcake has been cocky since putting Big Jim out of commission, but what goes around comes around. At least he said that phrase correctly. He starts to say more, but his dad cuts him off in mid-sentence. Bruno tells Valiant not to stick his nose into their business or he will get “this”, as he holds up his fist.

Gene then turns to interview Beefcake and Valiant, who were waiting patiently off screen. That was nice of them. Johnny asks if Bruno was referring to his fist or his wristwatch. He says that he’s no pickpocket and he’ll stick his “schnoz” in any time he wants. Johnny then asks Beefcake to tell everyone what he’s going to do, but he stands directly in front of Brutus so that the camera cannot see him. Brutus says nothing since he’s not even in the camera shot, so Valiant waves it off and says he will do the talking, as Brutus blows a raspberry into the mic. It was Beefcake’s best promo ever.

Brutus Beefcake w/ Johnny Valiant vs. David Sammartino w/ Bruno Sammartino

Brutus is billed as being from “Parts Unknown”. I thought that was reserved for the more bizarre gimmicks. He would seem kind of out of place there. Jesse contemplates whether or not Beefcake is Valiant’s son, but Gorilla correctly points out that there’s not enough of an age difference. Valiant is only 10 years older than Brutus. Gorilla then says that you can feel the electricity in the air and you can grab and touch it. Don’t do that! That’s a horrible idea! We’re going to have to start prefacing Gorilla’s commentary with those “Don’t try this at home” warnings.

Brutus shows off his power to start, despite David having the bigger muscles of the two. However, David outwrestles Brutus to the mat and ends up sending him to the outside. Johnny complains to the ref that David is all greased up, which leads to the commentators having a two-minute discussion on baby oil and how it clogs your pores. It was quite odd. There is some more slow mat wrestling and David keeps getting the advantage. He locks in some long wear down holds that Brutus halfway sells, while adjusting his forearm sleeves.

Brutus ends up taking control, by using his forearm sleeves to rake the eyes. Gorilla speculates that the sleeves should be illegal, but Jesse points out that the ref allowed them. We then get a lot of clubbing and elbowing from Brutus, and not much else. Brutus eventually tosses David outside, where Johnny slams him. This draws Bruno over and the two end up fighting. All four men end up in the ring, as the ref loses control of the match. He ends up calling for the bell and declaring the match a double disqualification. Fink shows us how little he was paying attention by mistakenly announcing that both teams have been disqualified as if it were a tag team match.

This was a slow and boring match. The crowd was only hot for the schmoz at the end. I didn’t see enough to form an opinion of David and Brutus’ offense was mostly punching and kicking.

Winner: Double Disqualification

Hayes talks about the upcoming Intercontinental Title Match, as Jimmy Hart walks by and laughs in his face. Poor Alfred.

Gene is with Greg Valentine and Jimmy Hart. Valentine says that we’re going to find out why he’s the greatest Intercontinental Champion. I’m guessing it’s because The Honky Tonk Man isn’t a thing yet. He says we’re also going to find out why he’s the master of the Figure Four and why they call him the hammer. He says that it’s because he nails them harder than anyone. Oh my! He then concludes by saying he’s lean, mean, and full of fighting fury.

Gene then turns to interview The Junkyard Dog. JYD says this is the biggest opportunity of his life. He then says a bunch of stuff that I frankly couldn’t understand, before panting like a dog. He finishes by talking about buying a lot of bones to chew. Considering how seriously he takes his gimmick, we should be glad that JYD didn’t mistake Gene for a fire hydrant.

Intercontinental Title Match: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine (c) w/ Jimmy Hart

Fink introduces the participants, as Gorilla refers to JYD as the “Juker”. I’m guessing that he meant to say junker. Sadly, JYD no longer comes out to “Another One Bites the Dust” on the network version. It’s been dubbed over with “Grab Them Cakes”, instead. He comes out with the world “Thump” written on his rump, for some reason. He gets in the ring and takes off his dog collar and chain, which causes Hart and Valentine to bail out of the ring. We then get a close-up shot of the old IC Title belt. Man, that thing is cheap looking. Thankfully, it soon gets replaced with the classic looking belt.

Valentine is reluctant to lock-up, at first. JYD keeps snarling at him, like a dog. JYD hits him with a few crawling headbutts early, but Valentine takes control and starts slowly and weakly working on his leg, for awhile. He goes for a Figure Four, but gets shoved across the ring and hit with a couple of headbutts. Jimmy Hart gets up on the apron and JYD goes to confront him. Valentine tries to attack from behind, but JYD’s dog sense tingles and he moves. Greg hits Hart by mistake.

The two men end up fighting into a corner, where Greg hits a double leg takedown and pins JYD with his feet on the ropes. The bell rings, but Tito Santana comes out to tell the ref what happened. For some reason, the ref decides to reverse his decision and restart the match, but Valentine refuses to get back into the ring. He is counted out and the win is given to JYD. Valentine is still champion since the belt can’t change hands on a count out, but he is rightfully angry about the ending.

The match was slow, plodding, and not very good. The ending was baffling. Since when can a random wrestler come in and complain to get the decision changed? Why don’t heels use this tactic if the ref is going to be that flippant? This is one of those plot devices that either has to be used all of the time or none of the time because it only creates issues with other matches.

Winner: Junkyard Dog (by Count Out)

Lord Alfred talks about the upcoming Tag Team Title Match and hilariously refers to the U.S. Express as “fine young athelerts”.

Next, Gene interviews The Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, and Freddie Blassie. Sheik calls Gene “Gene Mean”, which always gets a chuckle from me. He then says some nearly indecipherable stuff. I think he said something about the best time in life for a shape situation, but I might have misheard that. Blassie then tells Gene that he predicts that the next tag team champions are right here. Then, Gene turns to Volkoff and calls him a “commie”, before correcting it to “comrade”. Volkoff ignores the comment and says that he comes, he sees, and he conquers.

Then, we get Gene interviewing the U.S. Express (Barry Windham & Mike Rotundo), with Captain Lou Albano. Lou looks strange with just a mustache, but he has his usual rubber bands dangling off of his face. What is the deal with that? It’s weird. Lou talks, while the U.S. Express is giving out shoulder rubs to everyone in the room. I’d imagine that Rotundo is whispering tax advice into Lou’s ear, while he rubs his shoulders. Lou says that they are prepared and ready to go. He’s hoping for a victory and they’re going to do their best for the people and themselves. Gene wants comments from Barry and Mike, but they keep them short. Mike says the talking is done and Barry says they’re heading to the ring right now, which is clearly not true. Barry is still in his street clothes!

Tag Team Title Match: The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie vs. The U.S. Express (c) w/ Lou Albano

Volkoff requests everyone to stand, as he sings the Soviet national anthem. The fans boo, of course, while Nikolai sings the song. He sounds like he desperately needed to clear his throat first. Sheik gets on the mic afterward and says, “Russia #1, Iran #1, USA…*spits*.” How can there be two number ones? Then, the U.S. Express enter the arena. “Born in the USA” has been replaced by a generic knock-off, on the network.

The Express take control early and keep knocking Sheik off of his feet. At one point, Sheik stumbles into the wrong corner and gets punched. The Express enter the ring, after each tag, by flying off of the top rope with a move. The early pace is quite fast and the Express keep it exciting. Eventually, Sheik goes for a dropkick and accidentally hits Volkoff, but he still tags him. Volkoff takes control through hair pulling and slams Rotundo into Sheik’s boot. Sheik comes back in and hits a nice running elbow drop and a gut wrench suplex. It’s amazing to see how well Sheik used to be able to move in the ring.

Sheik and Volkoff cut off the ring for awhile and prevent Rotundo from tagging out to Windham. Mike finally makes the hot tag, when Sheik opts to tag out instead of continuing the assault. Windham hits a running bulldog, but the pin is broken up, which brings Rotundo into the ring. The ref tries to get Mike to leave, so the heels use the distraction to whack Barry with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff pins him for the 3 count.

The match was really good, but it was short. This was another one of those matches that could have used about 10 more minutes.

Winners: Sheik & Volkoff (New Champions)

Mean Gene interviews the new champions and calls the win controversial. Blassie wants to know why he thinks that way and Gene asks Freddie why he doesn’t have his cane anymore. “Cane? What cane? I never had a cane!” Blassie tells him. A very sweaty Sheik then says that they proved to everyone that their country is the best. “We prove it! Look at us!” Sheik yells.

Lord Alfred then talks about the upcoming Body Slam Challenge, which he calls “most intriguing”. He tells us that Andre will have to retire if he loses.

Gene is backstage with Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan. Studd has a WWF duffel bag full of $15,000. He pretends that the bag is so heavy that he can barely lift it. John tells us that the match is all about the money that they used as bait. He calls himself the only giant in wrestling. Gene wants to see the money, but Heenan tells him to keep his hands to himself. Bobby then says that for $15,000 and a haircut they’re eliminating Andre from wrestling. Gene tries to reach into the bag and gets his hand slapped, which knocks some of the money to the floor. Heenan then says that only two people will see that money and that’s him and Studd. He then corrects himself to say that the people at the bank will see it too.

$15,000 Body Slam Challenge: Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd w/ Bobby Heenan

Studd is already in the ring and the fans start throwing trash at him. Fink announces the match and tells us that one fall will win the contest. No, it won’t. Not unless you count being slammed as literally falling. Studd holds up the duffel bag, which Gorilla refers to as a briefcase. Andre then walks to the ring, to a great reaction.

He goes to yell at Heenan, but Studd jumps him from behind. Andre starts clubbing, chopping, and headbutting Studd, so John bails to the outside for a breather. He gets back in and Andre starts choking him in the corner. The ref stands there and says nothing, which makes Heenan irate. Studd makes the first attempt at a slam, after kneeing Andre suspiciously close to his groin. Andre then locks in a bear hug and the fans start chanting “slam” because they’re not here for any rest holds.

Sadly, Andre holds the bear hug for a while. He then changes it to a long headlock. Finally, he whips Studd to the ropes and telegraphs a back body drop. I somehow doubt these two would do that spot, so it seems a bit silly. They go back to the corner for some more kicking and clubbing. Andre finally just grabs Studd and slams him, with little build up other than a kick to the thigh. Andre then grabs the bag and starts tossing the money into the crowd, so Heenan grabs it from his hand and runs to the back.

Unlike the last match, this one should have been a lot shorter. There wasn’t much substance to it and there were only two attempts at a slam. It didn’t need a long bear hug spot. The fans were into it, but that’s mostly because of the story surrounding it.

Winner: Andre the Giant

Gene interviews Andre, as he leaves the arena. Gene asks where the money is and Andre says he doesn’t know and doesn’t care. He says that he showed Studd, the weasel, and the fans that he could slam Studd. Gene brings up retirement and Andre says he’s not ready to retire. He tries to say more, but Gene cuts off his sentence.

Lord Alfred then tries to introduce the Women’s Title Match, but Moolah and Leilani Kai both kiss him on the cheek, leaving lipstick on his face.

Gene is backstage with Wendi Richter and Cyndi Lauper. Cyndi refers to Moolah and Leilani as “Schmoolah and Lanny Kai”. She then says that these are powerful words, from a powerful woman, and she’s a powerful manager because Captain Lou taught her. Gene then asks Wendi for her thoughts. She says that she only lost her belt because of Moolah’s interference and she’s dead set on getting it back. Powerful stuff.

Next, Gene is with The Fabulous Moolah and Leilani Kai. Gene is surprised by the dollar sign glasses that Moolah is wearing. She says that they were specially made for her and Gene tells her not to tell Ventura about them. Leilani then tells us that she’s good and ready and doesn’t care what she has to do to get a victory. This wasn’t as powerful.

Women’s Title Match: Wendi Richter w/ Cyndi Lauper vs. Leilani Kai (c) w/ The Fabulous Moolah

Moolah and Leilani are already in the ring and the fans are throwing trash again. Wendi and Cyndi come out next, to what sounds like an 8-Bit knock-off of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”. Cyndi was part of the event and they couldn’t even retain rights to the song? Fink then announces the participants, while Wendi bounces in the corner. She bounces so much that it must have registered on…the Richter scale. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t resist.

We get lots of hair pulling to start. Half of their moves involve pulling the hair, yet the ref still admonishes them occasionally. We get some mat wrestling and a couple of nice hammerlock takedowns by Wendi, but then it’s back to the hair pulling and sloppy moves. Leilani goes for a choke, but Wendi locks her in a body scissors. She ends up pulling Wendi to her feet and the two women botch an attempt at reversing a gut wrench. Leilani then hits a snapmare, using the hair. I think it should have been called a snap-hair…okay, that was bad. My apologies.

At one point, Wendi shoves the ref out of the way in frustration, but surprisingly he doesn’t DQ her. Moolah tries to interfere, but Cyndi ends up slapping her away and Moolah looks annoyed. The end comes, when Leilani does a flying cross body off the top and Wendi slowly and awkwardly reverses it for a 3 count. After the match, Moolah tries to jump Wendi, but Cyndi stops her and Moolah looks pissed at having to sell for Lauper. Cyndi and Wendi then do a weird little celebration dance in the ring.

This match was sloppy and awkward. I’m not a fan of the hair-based offense. I get that fans were hot for the storyline, but the match itself wasn’t good, at all.

Winner: Wendi Richter (New Champion)

Gene interviews Wendi and Cyndi, as they come through the curtain. Wendi says it’s the happiest second of her life and Cyndi says that Wendi has more Olympic ability in her little finger than “Lanny Fi”. Olympic?? I’m pretty sure Wendi has never competed in the Olympics.

Next, we go to the ring, where Fink introduces former Yankees manager, Billy Martin, to do the ring announcing. Billy then tries to introduce Liberace as the guest time keeper, but the hanging microphones start to drift away from him and the fans boo. He holds them still and introduces both Liberace and the Rockettes. They enter the ring and do a little kick-line for us. Then, Billy introduces Muhammad Ali as the special outside ref, but the announcement is drowned out by “Ali” chants.

Hulk Hogan & Mr. T w/ Jimmy Snuka vs. Paul Orndorff & Roddy Piper w/ Bob Orton

A band of bagpipe players leads Piper, Orndorff, and Orton to the ring, as the fans throw even more trash at Piper’s team. Piper revels in the crowd reaction. Hogan and T come out next, but “Eye of the Tiger” has been replaced by Hogan’s “Real American” theme, which he wasn’t actually using yet, at this point. Fink does the introductions, while a ring attendant awkwardly sweeps at the ring apron. Orndorff grabs his broom and snaps hit across his knee menacingly, as a way to intimidate Hulk’s team. Piper’s team then has a nice group hug, before the bell rings. When the bell does ring, Liberace stands and rings his own little glass bell.

It looks like Hogan and Orndorff will start, but Piper begs to be tagged. Piper comes in, which causes Mr. T to beg for a tag, as well. Piper and T end up starting and get into a slap fight. T ends up hitting a fireman’s carry slam and chaos erupts between the teams. Ali takes a swing at Piper in the mess and Piper decides he doesn’t need this. He, and his team try to walk to the back. Referee Pat Patterson tries to count them out, but Hogan stops him and dares Piper’s team to return. They reenter the match and Hogan takes over, despite never tagging. He fights with Piper for a while. T tags in and manages to hit both a slam and a hip toss to Piper and Orndorff, to a huge reaction.

Hogan manages to big boot Piper out of the ring, but Orndorff clotheslines him outside, where Piper uses a chair. Ali chases him away, but the damage is done. Piper’s team work over Hogan for a while and use ref distractions to double team Hogan. Mr. T gets a tag, but he gets worked over for a bit. T manages to get the tag to Hogan and Orton tries to interfere, but Snuka cuts off his attempt. The chaos distracts the ref, so Orton goes up top, while Orndorff holds Hogan in a full nelson. Orton tries to hit Hogan with his cast, off the top rope, but Hogan turns and Orndorff gets clocked. Hogan then covers and gets a 3 count.

Piper knocks out Patterson and leaves the ring in frustration, leaving an unconscious Orndorff behind. When Orndorff recovers, he is confused and looks ready to fight, but the refs send him to the back. Hogan’s team celebrates and Gorilla Monsoon redundantly tells us that a happening has happened.

It was a fun match, for what it was. Mr. T didn’t do too badly, for a non-wrestler. They did a good job of keeping it entertaining and the crowd was hot for the whole match.

Winners: Hogan & Mr. T

Gene interviews the winning team. An out of breath Mr. T keeps talking about how rough it was out there and praises wrestlers for what they do. Hogan then tells us how training for the match turned him on. Um…what??? He says that he doesn’t pick slouches for partners and that his team reigned supreme. Gene then talks to Snuka, who keeps calling Hogan what sounds like “Big brother Hawk”.

The show ends with us going back to Gorilla and Jesse, one last time. They thank us for watching and we get some ending credits over still photos of the event.

Final thoughts:

This event will always have great historical significance for the wrestling business, but it’s not the greatest of shows. It’s a mixed bag of quality. The show was only a little over two hours long. It felt like they could have given it another 30 to 40 minutes and extended some of the better matches. Then, it might have been a better show. However, the short run time does make it an easy watch. If you want to watch it for the significance of the event then it’s not too bad.

Thank you again for reading. Next up will be The Wrestling Classic.